Will I ever recover?? 😢

[Whycantgiraffesdance]

Everything just feels so hopeless and I can’t see any light at the end of the tunnel 😔

diagnosed with PND after my second child, she’s 19 months now but this probably began when she was about 10 months. I wake up every day filled with despair and panic and end up sobbing because I just can’t take feeling so low and anxious all the time.

been on antidepressants for many years following some trauma but they seemed to ‘stop working’ so I’ve been on a new anti depressant for 2 weeks now but no sign of them making me feel any better yet.

im being seen by the mental health home treatment team most days after reaching crisis point a few weeks ago and I feel like everything is being done to help me but I just can’t see a way out.

Anyone that can relate to this please tell me it will get better?? 🙏🙏 it feels like a living hell right now and I don’t know how much longer I can put up with this mental torture 😔 I have to carry on for my children’s sake but it is just too hard.

oh OP this sounds hard. And you can see from the other replies that you’re not alone. I’ve had PND previously and totally get the mum guilt. On top of all the other emotions.

It’s okay to go through the motions you know. Just follow your daily routine as best as you can.

You said you’re looking for the glimmer of hope and I think that’s really important.

Look out for the glimmers of happiness and hope in every day life it can be a small has a beautiful sky or a hot cuppa. Every time you appreciate a glimmer like that your system will lift a bit.

Thank you @CognitiveBehaviouralHypnotherapy my brain just feels so foggy today, not sure how I feel! 🙏 for better days ahead x

I just want to echo some of the other comments. I know how low and awful you feel, I really do. That feeling that this is your life now and you will never get better. I used to think how lucky I was before the depression and anxiety hit and how my life was fine. It was fine in the sense that I was able to work, be a parent and partner and be physically there in my life but the battle of low self esteem, near constant anxiety and hyper vigilance and, at times, depression meant I wasn’t living life to the extent I could have been. In my experience all of these symptoms, anxiety, depression, OCD etc (I’m not a doc, this is just based on my experience) is your bodies way of responding to some trauma you have experienced. It’s shouting out at you to pay attention to it and get help. I remember reading a quote from a psychologist who was treating someone with depression and he said, something along the lines of, I’m delighted you have depression because at least you aren’t numb. Your body is doing exactly the right thing by making you experience this depression. Anyway, I did therapy for three years and I can’t recommend it enough, it was a game changer and a life saver. When I tell you that I now live my life without depression and minimal anxiety I’m not exaggerating. The process of therapy I found so difficult because I had to be so honest with myself and really look back on my life and accept and grieve some very hard realities. Best of luck to you know, you are much stronger than you think x

How are you doing @Whycantgiraffesdance? X

Awful 😢 I feel so low and so scared today, I just want it all to stop 😔

Me too hunni, I feel so flat and dissociated. Are you from the UK hun? I'm in Scotland xx

Yes I’m in the Uk, bit of a difference! 🤣

I’ve managed to get showered and dressed and have eaten a hot cross bun, that’s progress from a few hours ago! Have u got any plans @hk1993x ?

Have you investigated treatment of PND with hormone treatment ? I can vaguely remember listening to a podcast, I think it was a Louise Newson podcast about successful treatment of PND with hormones. Worth investigating and possibly another avenue to explore ? Sorry I can’t remember the details.

I'm still in my jammies. Managed to tidy up a little and gonna go for a shower and have the hospital at 4.30, I've wrote 3 pages trying to explain how I feel so gonna show them it xx

Thank you @Noodle421 I have tried that route through a private gynaecologist and I had a mirena coil fitted alongside estogen patchs but it didn’t make any difference unfortunately 🙈

That’s such a good idea, it’s easy to forget what u want to say once you get in there and the emotions take over! Good luck with your appointment, let me know how u get on ❤️

Sorry I should have said I’m in England! 🤦🏼‍♀️

Just one more thought on the issue - did you have a blood test to check you were absorbing the oestrogen ? I was prescribed patches but didn’t absorb for some reason even when I increased my dose so I switched to gel and my oestrogen levels shot up. Apparently this is quite common. The opposite is true too - gel doesn’t always work for some women and switching to patches work better. It’s very individual. Apologies if you’ve tried/know this already but it’s worth tinkering with mode/dose if you haven’t already. Hormone replacement made a big difference to my mental health. I really hope you find something to help make yourself feel better soon. Life with little ones can be hard and challenging. Go easy on yourself Xx

Hi guys, has anyone tried a low carb or low sugar diet? There is a relatively new school of thought that low mood etc can be caused by a metabolic disorder. There is a Harvard psychiatrist who has done a lot of work on this; apparently he has had success in treating mood disorders with nutrition therapy such as low carb or keto diet.

I think his name is Chris Palmer, he’s got some stuff on YouTube too. It’s interesting stuff.

I suffer too with mood disorders and I went low carb and gave up alcohol and I do feel much better, I am still taking low dose anti depressants.

PS - I’ve just realised Dr Louise Newson’s latest podcast episode is about PND ( I’m a regular listener, I have a lot of respect for her). I haven’t listened to it yet but it may be helpful. I’m sure there are other earlier episodes too.

No I never actually had a blood test but that’s really interesting to hear thank you. I’m loathed to keep switching up things all the time though as then I never know what’s working or not! I’ll definitely check out that podcast though thank you @Noodle421 x

How did u get on at the hospital @hk1993x ? x

I couldn't read and not offer some hope. I had PND after all my children, I also had mental illness prior to pregnancy. It was hell but I came out the other side and am now well and have been well for decades. There is a great life beyond where you are now, keep going, moment by moment, and you will get there.

Good it was an ANP I seen, she took bloods, ecg and gave me a physical. I gave her the letter I wrote about everything I was feeling and I got upset and she actually hugged me 🥹 she's going to come see me Monday and report back to psychiatrist to see what else they can do to help. How has your evening been? Xx

Thank you, that’s reassuring to hear 🙏 it’s just hard to see a way through when you’re in the thick of it! 🤯

That sounds really positive! Do you feel a bit reassured that they are taking you seriously? I had a few hours this afternoon where I felt a little better but then the evening slump kicked in! 🫠 feel so tired and just hoping for a calmer day tomorrow 🙏xx

Hi all

Dipping in as a fellow PND woman, my daughter is nearly 2.5 and things are still tough af.

Can I ask, for those who have been helped, what kind of therapy WAS helpful? Cbt as others have said just really isn't meeting me where I am at and assumes that I am a lot more functional and rational and 'not anxious' hah.

To OP, it sounds like you are doing amazingly and fighting hard to keep doing the right things for your child - that is huge and you should be very proud of yourself however dreadful it might feel x

Sorry to hear you are suffering too @seasaltwater but thank you for your lovely message 🥰 can I ask are u on medication for your PND?

i think the hardest thing is the feeling that things won’t ever get better, it just feels endless at the moment 😢

I was where you are when my child was young. It did pass.

what I learned out of that horrible time was that instead of trying to rationalise my feelings and why I felt like that, that it worked better just to acknowledge the feeling and wait for it to pass. Rationalising it or over thinking about it only made me feel worse, trying to distract myself until I felt better did help.

Sometimes it took for hours for the feelings to go away, sometimes 2 or even less but as long as I didn’t focus on them, they cleared after a while. Eventually, they disappeared for good (after a year or so).