Will this ever get better?

[hk1993x]

Hi all. I am now on day 11 of an increase to 60mg fluoxetine for severe anxiety, panic and OCD. I have 4 beautiful kids, an amazing husband and a good life and I can't stop panicking and having intrusive thoughts. I think depression is starting to kick in as I haven't left the house in 11 days and I don't want to. I just want to curl up into a ball 😔. I can't keep going like this, I am under the crisis team and they have asked me to keep going with the medication (fluoxetine and dizaepam) but after I have a sob, I feel so numb and flat. I can't see a way out of this and I'm thinking everyone is better off without me but then I'm saying I don't want to die I want to be alive and be with my family and happy. I feel like im stuck between a rock and a really hard place and I don't know what to do anymore. I'm just so tired 😔

Thanks for messaging back. I'm glad you are doing better this morning 🩷

I managed to get a shower and go out to Tim Hortons for a decaf French vanilla latte (my fave!) With my hubby and I'm feeling still a bit jittery but its the one day out this 12 days I've managed to get out the house before 3pm!

I have the nurse coming shortly so going to ask her what is the plan moving forward, if there is going to be any therapy etc offered.

Also just got a call from the school DS apparently has a sore tummy feels sick and has a sore head so looks like he will be coming home!

I hope you all have a lovely afternoon 🩷

Well done for getting out of the house! I know how much of an effort that can feel ❤️ how has the rest of your day been?

I have actually had a pretty steady rest of the day surprisingly! 🥹 how have you been?

That’s brilliant! I’ve not been too bad, I always feel a little anxious in the evening as I already start worrying what I’ll be like in the morning but 🤞🏻 it won’t be as bad as I’m imagining! 🙈 hope u have a good day tomorrow too ❤️

@hk1993x How’s ur day been? ❤️

ive just felt a bit flat today, not wanting to move off the sofa! 🙈

Hey! I've actually had an OK day, been out and got a food shopping done and done the school run, feeling like I need a nice hot bath and an early bed now though 🥹

How have you been? Little steps hun, your still here and your still fighting 💚

Ah so pleased you’ve had a good day! 😊 hopefully you are on the way up now! Hopefully I will get there soon too 🙏

Hi HK1993,

You need to get this book xx

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Dare-Anxiety-Stop-Panic-Attacks/dp/0956596258/ref=asc_df_0956596258?nodl=1&tag=googshopuk-21&linkCode=df0&hvadid=310856639426&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=2797786645497878848&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=m&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9046172&hvtargid=pla-464492699484&psc=1&mcid=a24f6f2695293c14bb934f9c6b17c191&th=1&psc=1&dplnkId=ddb94eb0-3e46-47fe-a45e-e6253afa0c09

I was in the priory in December for anxiety and benzo addiction. The method in this book made a huge difference and its doesn’t involve meds.

Feel free to message me directly

Hi there, thanks ive heard about this and will check it out ☺️

You can get Dare on an app.

I completely understand how your feeling, I’ve had really bad bouts of chronic anxiety/depression on/off from being in my 20’s

About 12 yrs ago now when I was in peri menopause all hell let loose with me with chronic anxiety which went into depression.
just like you, mine was virtually ocd thinking
I wanted to go into hospital I was so so scared if my thinking and how I felt.
Psych changed my ad’s because I was on highest dose to venlafaxine. I am so scared of Ad’s and what they do to your Brain was I was prettified to start them.
The transfer from escitalopram to venlafaxine was horrendous for me, I couldn’t eat for what seemed like weeks, my head wouldn’t stop ruminating over things I was constantly on the internet looking for someone to help me
I couldn’t sleep my mind was too active, I felt physically and mentally exhausted
I had cbt , but I was so unwell at the time I couldn’t even think straight, I wanted to die I thought about suicide and thought that what I wanted but it was the meds. I was on zopiclone for sleep as I was a walking zombie, well not walking as I was too scared to get of the sofa literally
I had a mental health worker who came to see me for over 9 mths

Did they just swop your meds straight over from one to another ?
It sounds like your on the right track now as it’s only early days and your functioning well now
well done you, keep going
Best wishes

Thank you, I have just downloaded it ☺️

I have been on alot of medications over the last 7 years, I got really unwell with my mental health after the birth of my youngest child and it always just seemed to have ok periods then go down hill again. It's been 2 weeks on the new dosage of meds and I've had a rocky one this morning xx

How are u @hk1993x ? Xx

Hey! I had a rocky morning 💚 I'm doing okay just now looking forward to sleep! How are you? X

managed to get out and about a bit more today, ran some errands and picked up my little boy from school but felt quite agitated this evening 🙈 really up and down at the moment it’s disheartening! Hope you get a good nights sleep @hk1993x 🙏

Good for you getting out 💚 we should celebrate the little things 🥰

I have the nurses coming out tomorrow to discuss plans going forward, I hope your feeling a little more at ease tonight and get some rest xxx

How have u been @hk1993x ? x

Hey! I've had a pretty crappy day, I've got the psychologist tomorrow so I'm going to sit and write out everything i want to talk about etc. How have you been? Xx

Yea me too! 😔 I’m managing to do a bit more, school runs etc but still feel so anxious all the time, it’s exhausting! 🙈 sorry you’re still struggling, wish I could wave a magic wand for us both! 🙏

Yeah I had the nurses in and broke down.

I put my referral in for uni and feel like a total failure but now I have until September to try get as well as I can, trying to put it into words what is going on inside your head is so difficult! Especially explaining it to mental health nurses who maybe haven't experienced it 🫠

I fell asleep for a few hours at lunch time then went and done the school run but feeling very flat etc this evening. I feel so bad for my DH, he has had to take time from uni and work to help and support me and I'm so worried about him, I keep texting him apologising for how I am and how much better he deserves.

The main thing is that we are still here and even though it is mega difficult, we are trying and that's all we can do 🩷🩷🩷

I know you didn’t want to defer your uni course but hopefully that will take the pressure off for now, it’s hard enough to try and get better without there being a deadline on it!

I feel the same about my partner, but he always says you’d do the same for me, which I would and I’m sure your husband feels the same. If he’s anything like my partner he just wants you to feel better! 🥰

have u had any therapy sessions with your visits? I’ve seen the psychotherapist a few times which has been helpful x

We have been together since i was 15, he has been incredibly supportive and has always been there and just wants me to get better. But i just can't help but feel guilty that I'm being a rubbish wife to him 😔

Tomorrow is my first visit with psychology, they wanted to get me out the crisis stage before I seen them. I'm just hoping for a good outcome xx

I know it’s hard but try not to beat yourself up over it, you’re not choosing to be like this, and he married you for better or worse 😊

good luck with psychology tomorrow, I hope they are helpful and you have a better day ❤️