why is it when you're at yr most depressed that people abandon you and find it too hard to handle??

[MissChief]

at breaking point, i feel, dh upped and left for the day, good frriend canceleed on me. parents finallyt told yesterday (we're a very cold family) and got a little squeeze on the arm as reassurance. GP just gave me sleeping tablets, no-one else reallyt around bar the cat (who's great, incidently). I could do with some comfort,a shoulder to cry on, dh definitely not up to it again. I can't prented to be better than i am though but the more upset/dperessed/sleep=deprvied i get, the more annoyed it seems to make him.
I wish i could just run away from my life.

How utterly crap for you

What is your parents were told?

You need to make another appointment to see a GP who will take your feelings seriously.
You also need them to access some counselling for you, if that is what you want.

As for today, just try and be kind to yourself.

Can you snuggle up on the sofa with some chocolate and a DVD?

why has DH gone out? has he taken DCs out with him? you could take the opportunity for a long bath, read of a book, watch telly and chill out

i admitted to mum for the first time ever (we don't do honesty in our fmialy!) that I've been battling derpression for yrs and have recently been signed off with "stress". She listend, a bit, and squeezed my arm, said "is there anything I can do?" ( a lot for her) but then walked out the room to make a pot of tea. stiff upper lip does not do it justice! I felt better for saying it (dh had insisted as he's up to here with my uptight family and all the lies to keep up appearances) but now feel as let down as ever as no follow-up call, checking I'm all right etc etc. Feel v alone.
Seeing GP this week, fear won't sign me off again, yet fear not going back to normaily of work too and all that i should be doing there/ Would love to snuglge up on sofa but 2 noisy boys and dh not good at keeping them away from me. (sounds awful I knbow, but can't tolerate their notise atm0

I not at my happiest either right now MissChief. I guess its hard for other people to want to be near us when, if you are like me, we don't really like ourselves much atm.

I have a doc appt for two weeks time and I'm intending wiping the slate clean and saying exactly how I feel rather than just the bits I think I can squeeze out. If my doctor isn't saying what I need to hear I will try another one. I am fed up wasting my life feeling crap when I know that, inside, I can be fabulous!

I don't like hearing about sleeping tablets. I've never taken one but I can only think that its masking a problem instead of facing it.

Remember that today is today and tomorrow will be different x.

thank you, fg. You do sound like you're in a similar place to me. Good for you for getting feisty about it, I get enfeebled sometimes by it all and do all self-pitginh rather than angry that so much of my life (easter sundaty, for fuck's sake!) is dripping away in a sea of despondency and despair in bed, online not with my kids or out in hte sunhsinre on an easter egg hunt. truyh is i am too do0gitred today tro drag myself outside. Ican't do it on so lttile sleep.

Ah you could be me! I have a horrid virus and I wanted to lie down in bed. Within seconds I had 3 children on the bed, one with a DS blaring out music, one lying on me and one stroking my hair (lovely but not what I had in mind). I'd but I can't.

I suppose you feel exposed now you've told your mum and she hasn't responded much. Could you write to her? Maybe if she wrote back, she'd be able to say what she means if she finds it hard face to face?

i could but i know my mum, have tried going thro childhood stuff with her before and she said she would "never" talk about it. i can't face the rejection right now. Maybe in a few weeks on my terms. Hope you'te getting some rest along with the hair-stroking.

out of interest, fg, what do yuo want yr GP to do for you? have you any idea or is it more a matter of putting yrself in their hands?

i don;t understand why your DH has gone out without you and the children?

can you lie them down with a DVD and chocolate? and just sit quietly

am sorry you are feeling low, and you too FG ( tis lulu here)

thanks.

thanks.

hi lulu Thanks for that x.

MissChief, I have arranged private counselling for myself which will start in 3 weeks but its from a place where I went before and tbh, I have no faith as the help was very wishy washy before.......

I want to put myself in the hands of my GP. I have felt like this for ages and never done anything major about it.

I have to run. My DP is coming up the street with 3 crying children

well, good for you, fg. Ikwym though - i too had private therapy (cbt) it was wishy-washy also, plus expensive plus i felt like i was being taken advantage of in someway - cashcow for smalllocal therapist with few clients from waht i can gather. Maybe i should look for someone else as it's hard work doing slef-help stuff/online cbt by yourself. I don't want to be let down by a professional agian though and know that the NHS waiting list is long.

i know where you are both at right now, as i have been there
i think i posted on your thread the other day misschief about seeing a psychiatrist to prescribe ADs as they are more expert at it than GPs

yes, I remember, thanks camilla. is that what got you thro tehen? Are you recovered now?

i actually had some in patient treatment privately , referred by the psychiatrist. it took me 4 years to get that ill. it did help massively and i am fine and well, and have been off Ads for almost 5 years now. i had dilly dallied with 20 mg of seroxat,then 40 mg of something else , then 60 mg, private counselling and CBT, but it was just not enough as it was too late.

don;t leave it too late

thanks i know. i'm worried (stupdily) about my medical record though - why i went privately for cbt. I wdn't know how to get private inpatient treamtment - thought of it scares me witless, to be honest! Glad it worked for you though, you're talking a lot of sense.

thanks i know. i'm worried (stupdily) about my medical record though - why i went privately for cbt. I wdn't know how to get private inpatient treamtment - thought of it scares me witless, to be honest! Glad it worked for you though, you're talking a lot of sense.

i was scared too,but at a point where all other options had been tried and had not worked

i disclosed it when applying for life cover etc and no problems getting insured.

i work as a doula, so experience of post natal depression is actually a bonus for me in supporting other mums!

i thikn that the sleeping tabs will help, take them earlyish, 7.30 or so, and you cna get a good nights refreshing sleep and still be ok to get up with the dcs

also, try to eat well and avoid alcohol as much as possible

sleeping tablets don't work for me - took early, relaxed, ate, no alcohol etc etc but same kind of night as ever. glad you came thropu it, must really help in yr job.

thank you.
you will get through it too. you are still wanting to get sorted and get help. that is a good thing.

right now, still don't know how though. feel gp will just send me away with ADs or more sleeping tablets regardelss. don't know what i need but feel it's not that.

I think people abandon when they don't know what to do/say. IME, you can lean on friends/family for 'normal' unhappy times, but when a person descends into chronic/true depression their needs are too great, and IMO it is too much for friends/family to cope with. That's the point at which you need professional help (and possibly meds).

Things you can do to help yourself are: eat properly, get regular exercise, get outside in the daylight/sunshine, don't drink (and certainly not to excess), and get a good night's sleep. Regular meditation helps some people quiet their minds/reduce negative and/or stressful thoughts.

Good luck, and please do get yourself to a professional for help as soon as possible.

v wise, sure you're right. v hurtful at the time though. I'm trying with the good night's sleep but that's the main problem, tbh!