Will ADs help? I’m having horrendous thoughts

[Pearlrubydiamond]

For a while now I’ve felt almost repulsed by one of my children which I know is just awful. I’m really not trying to go for shock effects or anything and I am of course doing everything I can to conceal these feelings but sometimes I’m caught unaware and my real feelings are exposé if you like. I’ve been imagining hitting and harming him. It’s horrible - I am confident I would never hurt him physically but of course it’s harmful mentally to have a mother with these thoughts

I can’t open up about it but I am wondering if ADs might help stabilise my mood and have me feel a bit more normal?

I had these type of thoughts too, I discussed them at length with a psychiatrist. No referrals to SS, it's not uncommon at all and most professionals recognise it for what it is - a manifestation of PND which can sometimes trigger OCD/OCD behaviours

(Apologies-missed the point you're a Mum of a little one and young baby.)
Like @peachgreen, I was mentally ill post partum.My daughter and I were in a mother and baby unit for a few weeks. When we got home, we had regular HV and MH visits, as well as family support.
My particular illness was ongoing (not the case for all new Mums who become unwell.) The only time there was any social services contact was when I'd had a crisis at home. My daughter was in the care of another family member elsewhere at the time, and no action was taken.
Peachgreen, good to read your story of how things worked out with your daughter. Condolences on the loss of your Husband.💐

The ADs may help, but they may also exacerbate things at first, and it may take a while to find the right dose. Plus the medication for OCD/PND is not always the same as that for depression or anxiety. It would be better and safer to be more honest with your GP.

Thank you @Boyce

I had postnatal ocd and this happened to me. See your gp. They won't take your child away for thoughts. You haven't done anything. They will get you help.
I wish I'd got help. I ended up extremely ill.
Good luck to you op x

OP this is surprisingly common, and the fact that you are seeking help is great. There won’t be a referral to SS.

Please be as honest with your GP as possible so that you can be given the correct medication/support for your illness. You don’t have to go into details, you could just say “I am having intrusive thoughts, they’re very upsetting to me so I don’t want to go into detail”.

I hope you’re feeling better soon

Thinking about you OP. How are you feeling today?

Hello OP, there is a lot of good advice on this thread. The main thing to know is this is not uncommon and it will not last. Do you have a friend you could talk to in RL while you ride this out? and do make sure the basics are covered off as much as possible to help you to better mental health. In my case, I really needed some sleep, 3 sensible meals a day, some social support, some exercise/ time to myself and someone to help with the housework. I am absolutely not saying this cures PND but it will definitely help. Unfortunately I had none of these things for many many months so it is unsurprisingly where one can end up.
I hope you feel better soon.

Even if they did refer to SS, it doesn't mean they're going to take your child away. That's the last thing they want to do and will do anything to support you to prevent it. That's why mother and baby units exist, for example.
I had social services involvement because I took an overdose. I didn't do it in my children's presence though, and that would have been a big difference in how they handled it. They offered support and referral to services to help me. They were reasonably useless if I'm honest and I found local charities help better, but they're not big and scary like everyone thinks.

I was having intrusive thoughts about harming myself at the end of last year - I started on sertraline in November and feel a LOT better now. ADs aren't a miracle cure but I'm staying on them for the forseeable.