been signed off for 3 weeks with stress, getting worse now, what to do? is it better to go back??

[MissChief]

can't be bothered to name-change.
overwhelmed with stuff, trying to deal with problems with ds & work stress, dh and I have been getting on appallingly for the last few months,wondering whether I should leave. On-off depression/stress/insomnia/whatever for about 18 months. Now don't know what the hell to do. Have been trying to self-medicate with fish/sjw/exercise but finally saw GP who took pity on me and said I was too exhausted to go to wokr and she signed me off. I haven't propertly rested thogh, got toddler racketing around and dh working from home like bear wiht sore head as well as all usal housework, on top of 2 or 3 hours sleep most nights, been like this for months,. I can't cope much longer and don't know what the way out/ahead is.
I feel it's a bit of a cop out to have more time off and am worried about how it will look for future job applicatiobs if i have more sick leave.

You should be trying to help yourself feel better, not worrying about future job prospects. If you go back when you are not ready you'll go into melt down and what good is this to you, your boss and your family? Take some more time off. It's better to have an extra couple of weeks now then to need a month off in 2 weeks because you have made yourself ill. Ask your gp to give you some anti depressants and refr you for some counselling.

Go back to your GP and tell them how you feel.

i had some CBT and found it not terribly helpful and very, very expensive. I'm seeing her v soon but don't know what to say, whether to ask, whether she'll "know". I don't want to take ADs either. Sorry, realise i'm saying no to everything! Best thing i find is headspace so will try and escape to a friend's for a while and take it from there.

i've also got work deadlines I need to meet over the next few weeks. If I do leave my current (well-paid, part-time, senior, outer-London) post, I know it will be a huge step down for a local, less stressful one,and don't know how prepared I am to take that, but probably need to for my sanity and sake of all the family. I feel I need an exit strategy but can't think straight to come up with one

Do what the polititions do " I want to spend more time with my family".

Is there any reason why you don't want to take ADs?

mortgage ot pay though so need to bring in some income.
NO faith in ADs, scared of side-effects having had friends take them. Read too much stuff on the AD industry and how other methods can work better. having said that, CBT no good for me, but maybe that was the therapist - an expensive waste of time on most occasions.

Can you get some help so that you can actually rest? It is no good having a toddler and grumpy dh hassling you!

what is fish/sjw?

st john's wort and..fish! trying food-for-the-brain/mood. Not sure if it's working. well evidently not. Got some help but feel I need to vacate the building to get some proper respite.

anyone been off-sick in similar cirs and gone back ..or not? Any advice?

bump?

if the self medicating is not working then maybe it is time for ADs, maybe ask for a referral to a psychiatrist as they are better at prescribing the right ADs at the right dose than a GP, IME

you need a proper rest, meds, and talking therapy... and sleep.

can you take a sabbatical from work?

thanks, I'd love to take a sabbatical, would buy me a reprieve and something to go back to , Don't know how i cd wangle it htough.

When I was depressed I was signed off for two weeks, but ended up being off for 3 months, then worked part-time for another 3 months building up to full time hours again.

It's not affected any job applications I've made since then.

I took anti-depressants and had no side effects whatsoever, apart from getting a really good night's sleep.

And I've come across loads of people who have been through the same.

The hardest thing was actually giving in to it and admitting that I was ill. For ages I kept saying "oh if I just get rid of this virus I'll be OK". When I finally did, and was prescribed the ads it was the start of things getting better.

what is teh HR department like? can you talk to them?

If you're taking SJW then you're already taking an anti-depressant!

Please take them. Give yourself a break.

And is DH helping you? How come you're only getting 2-3 hours of sleep a night?

Can you arrange to go and stay with a friend or have a girlie weekend away somewhere, just to give you a break, have some fun and get some sleep?

i konw, been on it for months and don't think SKW is working for me. Will probably visit friend soon.

HR crap, tbh, also working closely with them in prof capacity so wdn't like to.
surfermuum - great that it hasn't affected yr job applics, am surprised though. what did you putr on form when aksed to specify time off?

if you had any other long term illness that was affecting your life this mcuh, you would take any meds the doctor recommended.. why should thjis be any different?

because of the stigma, becuase of the medical record, because of the doubts over their efficacy. heck though might give in and try, i've covered most other options. still don't want to though.

you could use your right to parental leave for your sabbatical, that would give you some time.

Sorry you're feeling like this. ADs aren't the big bad wolf they are portrayed in the media and for stress you would only be on the lowest dose anyway. Maybe they would help get you over this hump whilst you sort things out in your head?

that's a thought. Cd take a month max, I think? can they be taken at short notice then? Wd GP be more likely to support that than signing off for more weeks?

i see what you are saying, but you need to feel better. 1 in 4 people suffer some level of depressive illness, at some point, so you are not alone

i know but people are funny about it, arne't they? I outed myself a bit and told a couple of people i was signed off "with stress", one congratulated me on being lucky enough to get some time off, what were my plans, how great etc etc, the other looked over my shoulder and made a swift exit!

i realise I keep saying I know and putting the counter-argument, so-rr-ry!!