Feel like there is no hope for anxiety recovery

[Mufflepuff]

I have tried everything. Nothing works. Just started a new CBT course today and it made me feel so much worse I have cancelled it and going to try counselling (again) instead.

I've had 5 years of bad thing after bad thing happen to me - mainly health things. The kind of stuff you wouldnt believe if it was a plot in a novel. So I'm just waiting for the next bad thing to happen. I get really bad physical symptoms of anxiety like muscle twitches and shaking. This convinces me I have a neurological disorder so the anxiety gets worse. Last month it was leg pain (bone cancer obviously), the month before that it was daily migraines (brain tumour fears). I'm so anxious my body is making up health issues, which then make me more anxious.

I've tried yoga, meditation, breathing exercises, running, walking, cold showers, CBT, counselling etc. Nothing makes a difference. I can't take SSRIs due to a health issue (ironic).

Whenever I tell a counsellor what has happened they are always really shocked about how much I have been through and says its understandable that I'm now anxious. But understanding why I feel like this doesn't take away the feeling of doom that something bad is going to happen to me again. And no one can tell me it isn't.

I just feel so hopeless. I can't live like this for the rest of my life.

I guess you know why you get a physical reaction to your negative or anxious thoughts? The body has no idea if a threat is real or imaginary so the response is the same to both. This explains the process in detail what's happening (and why) - maybe knowing that what you're feeling is natural will help a bit.

Anxiety is the emotion that is triggered when there's something you need to do or think about that's too important to ignore. If you've had multiple health issues it's understandable that your mind is shrieking at you not to miss a potential new issue. It IS possible to take control of your thought processes and use your conscious mind to make rational decisions. I did an AMA on remedial hypnosis about a million years ago, you might find it useful.

Thanks. I do understand why I'm anxious and that it's just my brain trying to protect me. But I just can't find a way that works to reduce the vicious circle of anxiety - physical symptom - more anxiety - more physical symptoms etc.

I actually went to see a hypnotherapist but I don't think she was the right kind as she kept slurping her tea throughout the hypnosis and it really put me off! She recorded the sessions so I could listen at home and I just spent time listening out for the next slurp 🤣

I've actually just bought some anxiety hypnosis audios from Clearminds as they have good reviews. Hoping that it helps.

Thanks for the help @Eyesopenwideawake

@Mufflepuff I hear you. I suffer with OCD/anxiety. Although I do have small periods of time where I feel ok it's always there in the background. Anxiety is a funny thing because it's so different for everyone.
Not got any words of wisdom but I know how you feel.

No worries. Just a point on remedial hypnosis vs 'traditional' hypnotherapy. With the former you're awake and aware of what's being said throughout; the conversation is directly with your subconscious mind (which is where your emotions are generated) so it can be far more specific.

I urge you to listen to Freedom from Nervous Suffering by Dr Claire Weekes on Audible. I think it’s free. Her other book on Audible, Hope and Help for your Nerves, is also brilliant and you can buy all her books cheaply on Amazon.

Her method is very simple, but it really works. It takes time to accept that anxious symptoms are part of a predictable pattern and that, as Dr Weekes says, ‘your symptoms [which] are the symptoms of stress, no matter how unique your symptoms may seem to you.’ but gradually you realise that they are just that - symptoms of stress, that you’re not dying or going mad, and that you can carry on with your life and not be held back any more.

Unlike CBT, you don’t have to remember anything (you can always add in CBT techniques later if it’s helpful) and unlike counselling, you don’t need to think about what may have caused the problems that have caused the symptoms - although it sounds like counselling will benefit you too, as you have been through a lot.

I recommend listening to Dr Weekes daily for as long as you need. And perhaps try a short daily guided meditation as well.

I’ve had anxiety so bad i was hospitalised, so i do know what im talking about. Nobody should suffer like you are, and there is hope. Please try it - the most it will
cost is an Audible subscription. Good luck.

Thank you for the suggestion. I have Claire Weeks' book but haven't read it for a while. I also have recently got Audible so will listen while doing housework etc.

@Eyesopenwideawake I think it was remedial but not sure. It was one to one and I was awake throughout, she made a script for me each time. It was expensive too! I'm annoyed with myself now for not saying anything about the tea slurping but I just couldn't bring myself to complain about it 😳

I think health anxiety is a bit like OCD with the obsession about the health and the compulsions being seeking reassurance (from other people, doctors, tests etc). I'm trying not to seek reassurance as inevitably people say the "wrong" thing and make me worry more.

I've had an eye twitch for a couple of months and when I mentioned it to a friend (hoping she would reassure me that it is caused by anxiety and stress) she said I should see a neurologist so then I got into a real panic about it and my other eye immediately started twitching 🙄

Propanalol is magic. Saved my life.

Reassurance-seeking is such a hard habit to break! But does get easier. People quite often are not very reassuring at all 😬

Took me 9 years of private therapy and switching/trying lots of different medications plus lots of exercise plus yoga and massively minimising drinking.

I barely used to leave my house and had panic attacks several times a week, often fainting.

I can now mostly function as a human being, but I'm not anxiety free. I don't think I ever will be. But I'll take this, this is the best I've been in 20 years.

Sorry you're struggling so much op.

I'm already on beta blockers for a heart condition. I don't think the kind I have help with anxiety though.

Can you not take anything OP? Things that are not SSRIs?

I honestly would not cope without mine but I know people with anxiety disorders that have benefited from Prozac and lithium. Would either of those be possible?

I really sympathise, I take a high dose of an SSRI plus propanolol and diazepam at times and still struggle, I can't imagine having to cope without those.

Have you spoken to a private psychiatrist to see if you can be prescribed something that would be safe for you?

You are in fight or flight mode due to what's happened to you- that means you are on constant alert and hyper vigilant just waiting for the next thing to happen. I think you have some form of PTSD (even if it's only mild) and EMDR is fantastic for that- far more helpful than CBT. This will reduce the emotional impact of what's happened to you in the past and help your brain rid itself of this need to be constantly on guard. Don't think of anxiety as your enemy- think of it as your brain simply trying its best to protect you after what you have been through. I really recommend Paul McKenna's book -freedom from anxiety- get it on audio as he has a very soothing voice and there are loads of practical exercises and EMDR style exercises you can do that will help. I wish you luck- its so horrible to feel as if you're just waiting for the next thing to happen, its like being utterly exhausted but panicky at the same time x

There are lots of non-SSRI options for meds. Trazodone has changed my life.

Duloxetine & Venlafaxine are both SSRNIs, they both work well for HA. I can’t take SSRNI’s either.
Good luck.

I can't take SSRIs due to a health issue. I don't know if there's anything else I can take. My GP didn't suggest any but I've never seen a psychiatrist. I've tried CBD oil but it didn't do anything.

I can't take HRT either as I had highly oestrogen positive breast cancer. I suspect perimenopause isnt helping.

I agree that I think there is an element of PTSD as well as anxiety. Does EDMR have to involve eye movement as I can't do rapid eye movements due to a dodgy retina (yet another health issue). I will download the Paul McKenna book, thank you.

Thank you to everyone who has replied. It makes me feel less alone and despairing.

Do SSNRIs also work by increasing serotonin? As this is what I have to avoid due to my eye problems.

I would love to try something like diazepam but know my GP won't prescribe it.

I found a v short simple book called Panicking about panic helped me enormously. He even has a chapter to.talk you through a panic attack. Worth I.read I think

I wanted to wish you luck with counselling, I have to say that if you get a good counsellor it can really help.
In the mean time, take a look at this, it talks about how the brain is a bodily organ and how diet impacts mental health by determining availability of nutrients and energy.

My understanding is that neither SSRIs or SSNIs increase seratonine, they simply reduce / balance out how quickly your brain uses it up

They do increase serotonin which is why you cannot take them with other meds that increase it as it can cause serotonin syndrome (too much of it)

OP- yes, some parts of EMDR involve eye movements (looking side to side and up and down) but you can cut that part out and just do the rest

@Sussurations I listened to hope and help for your nerves this morning straight through. It really spoke to me and had me in tears a few times just at hearing someone understand what it's like. Thank you so much. I will listen to the other one as well and put them on repeat!

I've had more support on this thread than in real life, thank you for all the suggestions.

@Mufflepuff I've heard that Claire Weeks stuff is good before. I must give it a go. Held my anxiety in all day at work today then had a good cry on the drive home.😭

I've read one of her books before but somehow the audio really got through to me better.