OCD/Emetophobia - I can't go on like this any more

[JimJimJim]

I've had OCD (fear of germs/contamination, particularly about norovirus and more recently covid) and emetophobia for about 12 years. In that time it's mostly been background noise, it affects me a lot in terms of my behaviour but hasn't been terribly upsetting. I've just sort of accepted it as part of me and lived with it.

But more recently I'm really, really struggling with my mental health and the OCD has got extreme. It's ruining my life and by proxy that of my children.

I can't carry on like this any more but I don't know what to do to make it better.

I've had CBT in the past which didn't really help. I am on the waiting list for CBT again but the waiting list is long and I don't hold out a lot of hope that it will help.

My DS has come home telling me about someone being sick in his classroom today and I'm freaking out. He always takes his uniform off when he gets in anyway, so that's gone straight in the wash, but it feels like everything is contaminated - his bag, his blazer, him. I HATE feeling like this, I hate being like this, but the fear is just so overwhelming that I can't deal with it. I can't do this any more. It's just too much.

I feel as though I will try anything at this point. Has anyone been through something similar and got over it? Please help.

Hey just wanted to say I’m really sorry your struggling but know you are not alone. I could have written your post. I have had emet all my life but have no idea why which makes treating it so much harder for me! I’ve had CBT multiple times, paid £1000s on hypnotherapy, just brought the thrive program but I have a 2 year old and I’m a SAHM so struggling to find the time to follow it. I went into crisis 3 weeks after having my little girl as I developed maternal OCD and PND. The intrusive thoughts were harm related towards my little girl and I nearly committed suicide thinking I was protecting her from me as I must be evil having those thoughts. Was nearly admitted to a mother and baby unit but managed to stay out of that by having every man and his dog coming to the house every day instead! I tried sertraline at this point but had a severe allergic reaction to it and ended up in hospital by ambulance. Ive dragged myself through the last two years whilst looking after my daughter with lots of therapy but no medication because I’m terrified of having a reaction again! My daughter caught a severe sickness bug 6 weeks ago and ended up hospitalised and it’s sent me back into a massive spiral with the intrusive thoughts coming back and I’ve phoned my GP today to get an appointment to try some sort of meds because I can’t do this anymore. Sorry that was really long but just wanted you to know your not alone and call your GP if you feel you need further help! Im determined to get better now and not end up back in crisis! Sending you love! We can do this!!! Xxxx

I know how you feel.

I followed Thrive for a while and it did help a little, but it just felt like very, very hard work to keep up. I also found it quite stressful at times as it felt like alot of pressure to 'get cured in 6 weeks' which I think is more a marketing ploy and puts a lot of pressure to completely cure it otherwise you feel like you've failed and you've got the phobia forever.

One of the best things I've read is the 'Emetophobia Manual' by Ken Goodman. It does focus on exposure therapy towards the end but being honest I'm not convinced by it. I really, really don't like the idea of it at least !!
The book really speaks to me and has alot of very helpful strategies you can much more easily apply to day to day life rather than feeling like you need to sit down and do hours of 'homework' which thrive seems to encourage.

Unfortunately there's alot of conflicting advice out there when it comes to emetophobia and I'm now not sure which way to turn.

Fellow ocd sufferer here op, sorry you're struggling.

I eventually ended up on citalopram as i was suicidal. It took the edge off a little and helped me engage with CBT a lot better.

I never suffered nausea either, definitely worth looking into, ocd is a bastard.