OCD/Emetophobia - I can't go on like this any more

[JimJimJim]

I've had OCD (fear of germs/contamination, particularly about norovirus and more recently covid) and emetophobia for about 12 years. In that time it's mostly been background noise, it affects me a lot in terms of my behaviour but hasn't been terribly upsetting. I've just sort of accepted it as part of me and lived with it.

But more recently I'm really, really struggling with my mental health and the OCD has got extreme. It's ruining my life and by proxy that of my children.

I can't carry on like this any more but I don't know what to do to make it better.

I've had CBT in the past which didn't really help. I am on the waiting list for CBT again but the waiting list is long and I don't hold out a lot of hope that it will help.

My DS has come home telling me about someone being sick in his classroom today and I'm freaking out. He always takes his uniform off when he gets in anyway, so that's gone straight in the wash, but it feels like everything is contaminated - his bag, his blazer, him. I HATE feeling like this, I hate being like this, but the fear is just so overwhelming that I can't deal with it. I can't do this any more. It's just too much.

I feel as though I will try anything at this point. Has anyone been through something similar and got over it? Please help.

What happened 12 years ago?

My older son had a sickness bug. Unrelatedly, 2 days later my younger son who was 6 months old was rushed to hospital with suspected meningitis. He is fine, but I was so scared that he was going to die, and was in hospital by myself with him.

I think I have linked the vomiting bug to what then happened, even though they aren’t really linked.

I wonder if EMDR would work?

I can reseonate with parts of this but unfortunately find it hard to pin down where my ocd and anxiety stems from... Have you looked into EMDR? It reprogrammes the brain from a “trauma” and is very effective. NHS may be able to refer you or you could pay for a private therapist? If one main incident it may only be afew sessions you need.x

Sorry to hear you have experienced something similar. Have you had much support? I don’t know if we cross posted about the EMDR but yes I wonder if that might be worth looking into

Yea sorry we did cross post. I have been paying private for EMDR. Some things have helped but I have a number of “small traumas” so it is a case of identifying them and trying to work on them in each session. I had been on sertraline which helped for afew years but wanted to come off it and address the issues rather than mask them. Been afew times when I have considered going back on meds but trying to persist with the EMDR and other things like yoga, meditating etc to try and stay more present and avoid my thoughts spiralling. This time of year isn’t great as dark nights and all the winter bugs do make things alot worse.

EMDR might work, there's also a program called thrive that costs but seems to help. My sister went though this...it's improved but not cured her. The biggest thing it teaches is for people to stop supporting your fear. So tell you you are being OTT. Stop avoiding taking about germs/illness/vomiting. I also suggest you look up the hard science about how bugs are spread.

My husband has contamination OCD and has had EMDR therapy. It's not cured him but it's made his life a hell of a lot easier.

Hi, I have contamination and checking OCD. I just wanted to share my support with you, and I understand how debilitating it is and how lonely it feels. I struggle quite a bit and have had therapy a few times. Mine has good and bad days at the moment, but feels like a constant battle 😞

Have you considered SSRIs? I have OCD and sertraline has been a miracle cure. I've had CBT too but it's the drugs that have made the biggest difference. Sorry you are struggling.

I have had many different therapies for emetophobia including CBT, exposure therapy and hypnosis, nothing really worked other than excepting that my phobia wasn’t curable. I now have coping strategies for when I need them but I still freak out if anyone’s sick or if feel sick. My dc are older now, I think about it less and it no longer affects me every day like it used too. I am still careful about hygiene but t doesn’t take ver my life. It does get easier as dc get older.

Just wanted to say that I also have emetephobia (came on some time in early childhood and resulted in me developing OCD at 14). I’m now 32. I actually wonder if it is now subconsciously stopping me getting pregnant as my body tries to protect me from morning sickness?!

Anyway, I totally get how you feel with the compulsions to clean! My husband is a primary teacher and caught norovirus last year. I didn’t catch it, despite me initially not realising he had it and using the bathroom after him and before it had been cleaned. I spent hundreds on private counselling after that. But like the various CBT therapies and medications, it didn’t cure me.

I’m going to give the emetephobia free/thrive programme a go.

I actually found a local therapist offering a new approach based in neuroplasticity, claiming to reset the brain’s approach to anxiety. But at £250 a session, I can’t really afford that so I’m going to start with the thrive course for £69.

Hmmm I wonder how helpful that would be for me because none of those things apply. Nobody supports my fear, nobody even knows about it. It just goes on in my head. I don’t ask for reassurance or avoid talking about germs etc. And the reason I worry about norovirus is that I once made the mistake of reading up on how it is spread and the answer is ridiculously easily.

but I haven’t heard of the thrive course before so I will have a look as it’s been mentioned a couple of times on this thread so thank you.

No, but I’m at the point of needing to do something so that might be the next step.

That’s really good to hear, thank you. I’m glad he is doing better :)

I used to have emetophobia. I think it started when I got ME as a teenager after a vomiting bug. It went away when I was pregnant with DD and vomited every day with morning sickness. I suspect it stopped the association in my brain between the awful ME and vomiting. Sorry that's not very helpful but I wonder if there's any way of figuring out how to break the association between the trauma you experienced and the vomiting.

I had EMDR for emetophobia. I'm not completely cured but am much, much better. I still can't stand anyone touching food/eating with unclean hands and keep hand gel in my pocket but I am much better than previously.

Emdr for sure.

There are some workbooks on Amazon too you may need to look at. Search emet and they will come up.

EMDR didn't help with my severe emetophobia OP. If you haven't really had treatment so far then it's probably worth trying CBT. Just to say I completely relate to the fear- it's horrible!

I had CBT at the time (12 years ago) but it didn’t help. I’ve had various goes at counselling since then but the emetophobia/OCD has not been the focus. I’m not against giving the CBT a try again, I’m in a different place now so perhaps it might be more successful.

Try Sertraline.

Has it worked for you?

Someone close to me, extremely well, but side effects initially can be bad. It's worth persevering.

I've tried them extremely briefly before but they made me feel sick - which for someone with emetophobia was awful! I could see if I could get anti sickness tablets as well as I can't cope with nausea.

Hi @JimJimJim I really feel for you, our stories are very similar and I have hit that point where I feel I can't cope so many times.

For me, ERP (exposure response prevention) is the only thing that's made my life more bearable. I'm not cured, and I accept I'll never be- but I manage a lot better now.

Thrive is a pile of shit by the way, don't waste your money, all of my friends with severe Emet would never recommend it. I have spent nearly two years hospitalised because of my OCD/emet in a specialist unit and it's often passed around as a joke.

EMDR I've never had but heard good things.

If you can afford to go private, I'll happily tell you the website of the ERP therapist who gave me my life back- he's in a small business with a few others, they do online sessions but are face to face if you're in London.

You are not alone, xxx