Help me please

[Duckingfun]

I’m done. Emotionally, mentally, physically done. I’m trying to go through the motions for my children but they’d be better off without me anyway. The only thing stopping me ending it is that my life insurance wouldn’t pay out and I don’t want to leave my kids with no money.
Im struggling to even go through the motions, how do people do it? So the same thing day in day out day in day out and wait for old age to hit where you’ll hopefully die in not too much pain. There’s no point is there, I have no friends, no family, I hate where I live but can’t move, hate the situation I’m in and hate my life.

I'm sorry to hear you're struggling. Sounds like you might be depressed, have you spoken with your GP?
It might be that you're in a bad phase at the moment, but it won't last forever. This time of year is hard for many of us. Try to be kind to yourself, you're dealing with a lot.
I would speak to a GP or mental health nurse, if one is available at your practice. The worst thing you can do it is keep it all inside. You've made the first step writing here, we'll done! Sending you virtual hugs.

Diagnosed with depression at 9 and my entire life has been really awful. The only good things have been my children and I fail them every day

Please be kind to yourself. One breath at a time is all we need to do.
A cliche to say but your kids are better off with you than without you. No.matter the money and all possession they may , or may not, have.

There are several.different organisations you could reach out for help.
https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/guides-to-support-and-services/crisis-services/helplines-listening-services/

Hello OP, we are really sorry to hear you are feeling this way.

We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged up to us we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources. You can also go to the Samaritans website or email them on [email protected].

Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you will be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other MNers will tell you, it's really a good idea to seek RL help and support as well.

I have lots of professionals involved, they’re the only people I see other than my children but they don’t care. They’re literally doing a job and getting paid, they don’t want to see me

Hi Op,

The problem with the professionals is they just have masses of patients and you don’t get the greatest help. Do you have medical insurance and have you tried accessing help privately? As that’s often quicker but appreciate there’s still no magic wand.

If depression started so young I’m assuming you had some childhood trauma or difficulties growing up which is still impacting you.

Don’t give up - think of how much your kids love and need you.

Have you found anything which helps? Or are you able to identify major triggers/problems which are making you feel worse?

Sorry you are feeling like this. I've been in the going through the motions. This sheet really helped me. I had several stuck up around the house.

I LL be Ur friend. I've never had any myself and it hurts. I LL listen to you and try to help. And hopefully I can do the same for me
🤗🤗🤗