I'm so sad.

[fancyabru]

I'm 25, I feel numb underneath ... my dad died a month ago, I love him and miss him and a lot of the time find comfort in the idea of dying and being with him so he can comfort me.

I'm best friends with my boyfriends sister, she's extremely upset with me because I've arranged for some drinks for my bfs birthday but I didn't invite her... because she had already told me previous to finding out that she was working so I didn't think to invite her for no other reason. She doesn't care for my reasoning ... and I can't handle the thought of her being upset with me and believing that I didn't invite her on purpose because it really wasn't like that.

I gig on some weekends playing music, everybody is so happy, and I join in on the happiness but I go home and cut my legs afterwards.

I have a two year old and the past month he is all for his dad, (my bf) I feel like he isn't bothered about me at all. He cry's when I hug him because he wants to hug his dad, things like that.... it breaks my heart with jealously because every mother I know there kids are always Mammys boys.

I feel like I could disappear and it would make no difference to him. It frustrates me because I do everything for him, and he seems to not like me the way he does his dad.

I would never kill myself because I couldn't do that to my son... but I definitely think about it a lot, I know it's nothing more than a thought, but I feel like I'm floating around in pure sadness.... but on the outside nobody would even know.

I'm so sad. Some things might seem so small but everything is hurting me so much. And adds to my "what's the point" feeling. Is that makes sense.

I'm so sorry for your loss. Its no wonder you are feeling the way you do. I wish I could give you a hug and say everything will be OK. You are 4 years older than my daughter. My advice to her would be to speak to your GP. Reach out for help, get some grief counselling.
Sending you much love xx

Hello OP, we are really sorry to hear you are feeling this way.

We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged up to us we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources. You can also go to the Samaritans website or email them on [email protected].

Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you will be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other MNers will tell you, it's really a good idea to seek RL help and support as well.

We are going to move this thread to the Mental Health section shortly.

I’m sorry for your loss 💐

You mentioned that your 2-year-old has been more focused on his dad this past month. It might be because he is picking up on your sadness and grief and that is why he is temporarily migrating towards his dad. Please try not to take it personally.

It was very unkind of your friend to make a big deal about the invite when I’m sure she knows how much you are struggling.

I know it might be hard but try to focus on little positive things each day. Baby steps. For starters you have been blessed with a little boy who needs his mum and who loves you very much.

Talk to your GP. You sound like you are depressed and the GP will be able to help you with that.

The grief will get easier in time.

Young children go through phases of wanting their Dad versus their Mum. Trust me when I tell you that for your DS you are his world, he needs you and loves you very much I'm sure.

I'm sorry you are feeling sad and I hope things get better for you in time.