I can’t take it, it’s too much. After years of isolation and controlling behaviour before leaving me abruptly alone with a baby he’s now using my son to control me and make my life as miserable as he possibly can. I don’t understand where all his rage towards me comes from and it’s been years now and I’ve reached breaking point. I signed whatever he wanted to get out of his country because I was so desperate and alone but now I’m supposed to bring my son there once a month while he sneers at me and refuses to pay maintenance despite earning more than me and making me pay for the travel. Even then he has his mum look after my son. He doesn’t want to FaceTime him or anything the rest of the month. I cannot face doing this anymore and have him laugh at me suffer while he does whatever he wants and doesn’t struggle it’s too much. I’ve seen psychiatrists and counsellors for years and even had inpatient treatment but it’s not helping. I’m trapped by him and so broken and still he’s winning at every turn. I can’t be alive anymore