Mental health in bits

[Imamumgetmeoutofhere]

Just that really. My mental health is in bits. I'm close to tears all the time, I'm tired and snappy. I've done CBT in the past for depression and anxiety but it just didn't help, at least long term. I'm so worried it's going to cost me my job, I keep making mistakes and feel like my co- workers hate me. I'm worried it's going to cost me my marriage and my relationship with my kids. I just don't know where to turn.

Are you on any meds?

Do you drink alcohol?

How is your diet?

Not on any meds of any kind. Don't drink. Diet is ok, have made positive changes recently, more fruit and veg, more water less processed crap

You need to see a gp to get SSRIs at the very least

Sorry to hear you are having tough times. I have been there and can appreciate how it can feel like the whole world is conspiring against you being happy. My advice would be to tell your partner how you, and make an appointment to see your GP so you can get back on the path to feeling better. I know you said you didn't get on well with CBT, it isn't for everyone. But don't write therapy off altogether, there are other therapies that are not CBT based that might suit you better just explain your reservations about CBT. Lastly, be kind to yourself - it ok to have bad days, and make a mistake or two, or lease the house untidy because you don't have the energy to do anything. GL

You need more sleep

@DRS1970 my husband knows how I'm feeling. I just get the response "your always ill" so I don't feel I can talk to him.

@WellIdontknowwhattocallmyself I have luckily changed my hours at work so I'm doing "normal" length days so my sleep level has improved. But I'm still tired all the time, waking up in the night and struggling to get back to sleep etc.

@Quitelikeit I feel I should know what these are as I work in a medical type role but I don't. Are they anti depressants (admittedly not medically trained but book appointments etc)

Hi Op,

Sorry you aren’t feeling great ❤️‍🩹

Sleep hygiene: you might be all over this but just in case. No caffeine after 12 (including decaf drinks!), try those sleep sprays to put on pillow, get into a consistent night time routine and try and read or do something relaxing before bed. If you are on any medication try and take in the morning or earlier in the day. Cut out alcohol in the week. If you do wake in the night don’t lie there ruminating, try and listen to a podcast/sleep meditation or get up and read or clean. Exercise will help you sleep better.

Diet: sounds ridiculous but have you taken kefir? If you are struggling a bit at work as well as lack of sleep it could be that brain fog/forgetfulness feeling. If so kefir really can make a big difference (improving your gut bacteria). Also worth checking your iron levels if you are struggling with energy at all.

Try not to get too anxious about work. Just do your best each day that’s all you can do. Hopefully the feelings will pass and you’ll start to feel better soon

Would this be you offering your advice & perspective free gratis (in the spirit of MN), or are you touting for business for your hypnotherapy business?

If the latter, these talk boards really aren’t the place to be scouting for customers.

Dearest Sean is posting the same drivel on lots of the MHealth posters. It’s disgusting!

OP
Mind if I ask how old you are? Could this be peri-menopausal symptoms?

@TreeHuggerMum1 I'm 37 next month so not completely impossible. Have had my levels checked about a year ago as periods all over the shop. Not peri menopause levels but not "normal" for my age group either.

If I'm honest I've had mental health issues for many years. Probably 20 years or so on and off, ramped up even more with PND. It seems to come and go in cycles but each patch of bad mental health seems worse each time

PMDD maybe?

Please go to your Dr and discuss SSRI's. I've been extremely depressed which manifests in me crying all the time-they can stop that so you can get a grip on your emotions and start to cope again. Not a miracle cure but a coping option if needed. I've gone on and off various different ones over the years. One of my parents is on end of life care right now and they've been keeping me emotionally stable. It's a rough ride with some of them for a few weeks (insomnia etc) but so worth it if you are feeling that bad. Good luck X

@cheeseandsaladcreamtoastie amongst the feeling tearful most of the time I have periods of anger outbursts and also periods of feeling numb. It's such a horrible feeling. And whilst I don't have significant trauma like many with mental health do, I do have some trauma that has possibly impacted my mental health. So I'm wondering if therapy alongside meds may be the way forward?! Who knows really. But I cannot go on feeling this way, it really is the worst and I pretty much hate myself right now.

for you, it must be so hard having a parent who is receiving palliative care. I can understand completely why you are feeling the way you do x

@Squiggles23 totally agree about trying kefir (or other gut boosting fermented foods) I have noticed such a difference since adding them to my diet.

There's lots of scientific evidence now about how much gut health affects our mental health, so maybe worth looking into.

Thank you all. I've done an econsult but it says it may take until Friday evening to get back to me.

Today has been pretty awful. I've done nothing but feel like I will cry and sit on the sofa (am part time at work so day off). Spent the last hour actually crying. And it was all over a simple, silly trigger but once the crying starts it's hard to stop.

The weather hasn't helped and it feels like my 15 year old has just been "pick pick pick" and my husband too.

I'm just a mess. I want to get better. I hate feeling like this

You sound like me a few months ago. HRT and sertraline… game change. Good luck. X

Why don’t you try 5htp lots on Amazon or Kalms
first before going down the Med group of antidepressants, there not an easy ride especially at first because you’ll feel worse
Even meds take 6-8 weeks to start working if it’s the right one for you.

if you think counselling fill in an IAPT online form (if your area uses that) if not try looking at Mind the do different things for mh
or google free or low cost counselling in your area.

I’ve suffered Mh anxiety & depression over 40 yrs and the older you get the harder it is to tolerate and bounce back
plus add menopause in the mix and it’s another ball game.

I say bloody well done for managing to get to work Feeling as you do. Add in a hubby that’s not helpful with his comments (just let them ride over your head) and teenager hormones in the mix .
try and give yourself as much YOU time as you can, bath, read on the bed out of the way, go for a walk alone.

I really do appreciate each and every one of you replying to a stranger about what must seem a really petty, insignificant thing.

I've got a husband, 2 wonderful children, a lovely home and a job I enjoy (when I'm not feeling like I am now, right now it's just a burden). I have a Dad who thinks the world of me and a couple of fabulous friends. What have I got to feel depressed about?! Can poor mental health really come in waves, getting worse with each spiral for almost 20 years? Because I honestly think it may be pinpointed to something that happened to me that long ago, then adding general stressors and anxieties to the mix and I'm now such a mess. Each time I spiral it feels worse and lasts for longer. I just feel like my whole world is going to fall apart if it carries on much longer. People won't put up with this, as much as I'm ok at putting on a front I don't know how long that will last.

Today has been hard again, still on the verge of tears again and really struggled to get out of bed and I smell as I haven't managed a shower since Monday night (disgusting I know but it's just too much effort). My friend messaged me and asked if I wanted a coffee at her house so I made myself go but my god I was glad to be home.

The thought of work tomorrow is making me feel sick and making my head hurt. But I can't afford to go on ssp so I'll have to go in.

I still haven't heard from my GP and I'm struggling with the thought of going down other routes, we have a mental health wellbeing team locally but one of the GPs who works where I work (I'm a receptionist at the doctors) works there too so I'm really concerned they would be allocated to me or at least see my referral. Yes, realistically I know this wouldn't happen as they would probably know my name and refuse and I could also say their name too and ask not to be allocated to them but I'm still paranoid. I don't have the funds to go private either.

Plus the sound of meds, as much as I know may well help frightens me. I know they may not always work, will sometimes make you worse initially, are hard to come off etc etc. Plus the stigma and the cost of prescriptions too.

All I want to go right now is go to bed. But I've got lunch boxes to make, shower to be had and have to wait for the tumble dryer to finish.

I hate this feeling

Its so brave if you to reach out and share how you are feeling ❤️

I’m really glad you got out for a coffee with a friend even if it felt a bit exhausting it’s a really good thing to do. I wouldn’t spend too much time worrying about whether you should feel that way. You could have a dream life on paper but it’s your brain that’s stopping you from feeling better.

Try and focus on knowing you’ve got through this before and the feeling can and will pass again in time.

I hear you about your colleague working at the mental health clinic - that definitely adds a layer of anxiety. Can you call up and ask share your concerns and ask for an appointment when they aren’t there? Or go to a different place outside your area and explain why? It took me ages to find a good medication that works but once I did it helped massively. I still get down but I bounce back so much quicker.

At the moment you are really struggling and you said it keeps feeling worse and worse. I really think it would be a good thing to get some therapy or medication lined up. You need to try something to help you through this because fighting it alone is too much. There’s no stigma about going on AD’s - so many people in the country are on them or have been in the past. Don’t let things like that put you off.

Hope works ok tomorrow, try and relax about it and let your mind rest. Easier said then done but no point worrying about it.

Sending you a big hug 🌸

@Imamumgetmeoutofhere i want to say I’m so sorry your going through this difficult time but I want to reassure you that there is light at the end of the tunnel.

One thing that has jumped out to me from your posts is that you are implying that something in your past could be responsible for how you’re feeling right now and I want to say that yes it could. Like you, I had many long years of anxiety with some depression but I always knew, on some level, what the cause of it was. I knew that, for me, medication would only mask my issue and I needed talking therapy of some kind. I’m not in any way against medication, I think it can be lifesaving at times and if you feel you need it, and your GP agrees, you should feel no shame in taking it.

I would recommend therapy and meditation and see how you go, you seem to be on the precipice of sorting it all out. I know how hard it is to do “real life” when in the midst of what you’re going through, I really do. You are much stronger than what you believe. Best of luck x

So, I had a breakdown at work today.

My boss urged me to make an urgent GP appointment as she's worried. Said I'm not the same person as I was when I joined and that she doesn't want me having a mental health crisis.

I've got an appointment on Monday, only over the phone but it's something at least.

Thank you again for all being so kind to me

You need urgently to start something like sertraline. Absolute life saver for me.