Just needed a handhold, I’ve spoken to Al-Anon, have a therapist but I just feel so drained by their behaviour. The constant drinking, aggression, then sweetness, then apologies. I can’t leave due to me not working and raising two young children, we’re not married but our finances are tied into the house tigether. If I leave with my children I will have nothing.
I just feel trapped and desperately sad. No one in RL knows. It’s their dirty secret and mine really, I’d be embarssed and ashamed to tell family. They say they’ll get help but they don’t. Lots of mental health and identity struggles which I’ve tried to be supportive with but I can no longer do this as I’m making myself poorly, I have at times felt suicidal but won’t do due to my children who I love dearly. I would never leave them in that way with their other parent but I just feel so helpless and hopeless.