To feel suicidal about mortgage/interest rates

[mortgagequandary]

I am sorry if this post upsets anyone but my mind is constantly occupied with the fear of losing my house. [PART OF POST REMOVED BY MNHQ AS WE DON'T ALLOW MENTION OF SELF-HARM/ SUICIDE METHODS]

But I don't know where to turn and can't tell anyone in real life . I wake up every morning and feel hopeless. I am too scared to do anything but I wish I could go to sleep and not wake up

I am terrified of losing my home and not being able to provide suitable accommodation for my children. I have been here 13 years ago when I was evicted from a rental as a young single mum and the fear and shame about not being able to even provide a roof for your kids is awful. I was lucky enough to get a small council house which would not happen now, this made me able to save a deposit and 7 years ago we bought a tiny house. I then moved to a slightly bigger house in 2019 but it's just still modest 3 bed terrace - I was told I could borrow over 100k more but I stayed sensible

We don't have any kind of flashy life. We live paycheque to paycheque. Between me and H we have 5 jobs. I work about 40 hours in 3 pt jobs and he has a main job and an evening job. Since last year when rates started to rise I have used every spare penny I have making overpayments. I have now paid about £5500 but still got 103k owed so feels pointless and not enough as I don't think will make any difference to what my new payments will be

I have a year left now til my fixed ends. and I feel like that will be it then, I won't get to keep my house

I am worth more dead to my family because if I died my mortgage would be paid off and then my husband and kids would always have a home .

Op not sure if you've thought of this? But if you're on a fix from 2019 then your mortgage interest is likely to be much lower than what you could get o a savings account right now.

For instance I took out a mortgage in 2018 and our rate was 2.34%. I just opened an isa yesterday at 5.3%.

Stop overpaying now and whack it in a savings account so you earn interest and pay it off as a lump sum at the end of the term. That way you will clear more of the debt.

The savings rate will be below mortgage interest rate. The best option is to extend the time on the mortgage. Or sell and buy cheaper.

Your family absolutely 100% need you more than they need the home you currently live in. They would not be better off without you. A house is bricks and mortar, it is replaceable, you are not. You will destroy your kids lives forever if you chose to not be here vs them potentially needing to move house where they will inevitably adjust and settle as we all do.

How much is the shortfall you’re expecting (is the rate you’re using to calculate this realistic??). Explore every possible step you can take to increase income and decrease costs, leave no stone unturned. If you have to move everything will turn out ok, you have plenty of time to sort this. You can do this. Please speak to your mortgage company, a reputable mortgage broker and citizens advice.

I just wanted to quickly reply and say thanks to everyone who's replied I've still not read them all x

If you are overpaying just stop doing that.

You’re not worth more to your family dead. Please don’t ever think that.

My parents lost our house when I was a child. I’m sure it was hard for them, but it wasn’t for us. Losing my mum would have been a million times worse, I can’t even imagine it.

I have read through everything properly now and I want to say thank you to everyone

I've been thinking about why this is affecting me so much and I think that it is because to me, what my house symbolises is how far I've come in life. It is my security in a scary and volatile world and it is my security after 30-odd years of living a precarious life. And so for that to be under threat is very frightening. Even ten years ago I never believed I was the type of person who could ever own a house. . A secure and affordable home is the bedrock of everything

Tbh me being poor in the past was partly my own fault due to me making a lot of poor life decisions . But I own that and now I feel I've done absolutely everything "right" for the last few years working hard and striving and yet I - like millions of others who have also done "everything right" am still going to get fucked over with higher mortgage payments through no fault of my own.

I don't like not being fully in control of my life and I feel like this now

If I'm honest I have felt insecure in life since covid / lockdowns. During lockdowns I felt terrified then of losing my house (due to H being in an at risk industry and being furloughed with high risk of redundancy) and this just feels like here we go again. I generally just feel a bit like the world is fucked tbh no matter what we do in life we're going to get fucked over one way or another and that no one in power gives a fuck about ordinary people.

But all that said ...it has really helped reading through the replies and it has helped me see it may not be quite as bad as I think. I honestly do feel like the constant headlines have triggered my particularly bad mental health. And I think the media are quite irresponsible with their dramatic headlines keeping people scared and worried but I've thought that for a long time now

Regarding the actual practicalities of the situation I am still going to put money aside but I'm going to put it in my savings account rather than over pay. I definitely need to do that to keep an element of control but then there will be more options plus I'll have cash if there's any sort of financial emergency

Your response to debt makes sense considering your background, so remember to give yourself grace. I think your future financial planning sounds sensible and should hopefully make you feel more in control. One of the things experiencing uncontrollable debt and poverty can give you is like a financial hangover- you just had the money version of "beer fear!". Recognise it, acknowledge it and working out the route of the anxiety is key. Don't tie your self esteem or self worth to money, and give yourself grace if you make mistakes. It'll be ok.

OP, I really know what you mean about the doom headlines. I was soworried about heating last winter. I started thinking, "what if we can't afford our bills again". Dh pointed put that we now live in a small insulated house, between us have a really decent income and he doesn't work not to put the heating on. It was fine. I put the central heating on less, was more mindful about the tumble dryer, built up a debt on the gas and electric and we are now back in credit. All the worry brought back those previous feelings.

Oh god I was in absolute pieces over the gas and electricity rises. I did not put the heating on til mid November as was convinced we'd end up paying £500 a month

As it was it's been hardly any different tbh 🤦‍♀️

I fucking hate scaremongering

the scaremongering has been going on for years to get public onside with Government policy ( no party is exempt) from Saddam's weapons of mass destruction, COVID , brexit Scottish independance COL war in Ukraine and going further back AIDS tombstones Falkland islands etc Propoganda is used to ensure compliance and the economy and cost of living can be used to nudge public
it does not mean there is no truth in the claims just that if it suits to over exaggerate in one case or underplay in another case they will not hestitate to do so

Me too. I remember some posts on here, they were nuts. Talk of collapse and also the whole they’re going to shut electricity off

So crap to wind people up that way

I actually strongly suspected and at one point even said that I think some people were posting hysterical threads with ridiculous sums and scaring people on purpose just yp laugh at worried people.
I still stand by it.
I clocked onto some at the time claiming to pay hundreds and hundreds and hundreds but they had similar usage to me... Sure mate. Also some in 3bed semi with 4people claiming to have usage of smaller weed farm 🙄

This is the same tbh. Just whipping up fear.

@Elephantinasandstorm yes agreed loads of people were posting screen shots of their alleged bills and it was like £1000s some of them, really crazy shit like that (my 3 bed end terrace energy bills never went above £300 even in Dec / January which admittedly isn't great but the year before the same months we're £250 at least. So was annoying but doable)

And was the on my Facebook the fearmongering. And was same during covid and lockdowns

Where is the need for it.. just whips up fear and it's the most fragile people who are most vulnerable to it. People are bonkers I swear