To feel suicidal about mortgage/interest rates

[mortgagequandary]

I am sorry if this post upsets anyone but my mind is constantly occupied with the fear of losing my house. [PART OF POST REMOVED BY MNHQ AS WE DON'T ALLOW MENTION OF SELF-HARM/ SUICIDE METHODS]

But I don't know where to turn and can't tell anyone in real life . I wake up every morning and feel hopeless. I am too scared to do anything but I wish I could go to sleep and not wake up

I am terrified of losing my home and not being able to provide suitable accommodation for my children. I have been here 13 years ago when I was evicted from a rental as a young single mum and the fear and shame about not being able to even provide a roof for your kids is awful. I was lucky enough to get a small council house which would not happen now, this made me able to save a deposit and 7 years ago we bought a tiny house. I then moved to a slightly bigger house in 2019 but it's just still modest 3 bed terrace - I was told I could borrow over 100k more but I stayed sensible

We don't have any kind of flashy life. We live paycheque to paycheque. Between me and H we have 5 jobs. I work about 40 hours in 3 pt jobs and he has a main job and an evening job. Since last year when rates started to rise I have used every spare penny I have making overpayments. I have now paid about £5500 but still got 103k owed so feels pointless and not enough as I don't think will make any difference to what my new payments will be

I have a year left now til my fixed ends. and I feel like that will be it then, I won't get to keep my house

I am worth more dead to my family because if I died my mortgage would be paid off and then my husband and kids would always have a home .

Also, if you’re currently on a low rate you may be better off saving the amount you’re currently overpaying in a high interest savings account and then paying in a lump sum at the time of your remortgage.

Op first and foremost you need to go and see your gp. As others have said you seem to be experiencing some extreme anxiety/upset/ trauma that is disproportionate to the situation you face and you really need to get some help with that. Please make an urgent appointment with your gp, tell the receptionist you are feeling scared because you are having intrusive thoughts. Tell the gp how you felt when you were running. Once you get some support with that and you are feeling better you will be able to come back here and read all the very sensible financial advice you've been given here.

If you don't feel like you can say how you are feeling to the gp please try. If not contact a helpline.

If you are under 35 Papyrus is a charity which provides specialist support for people having suicial thoughts. 0800 068 4141. Or the Samaritans. Don't ignore the feelings and thoughts you are having whilst it might have been a fleeting thought this time, it could spiral if your anxiety is this high.

Can you give us the figures?

years outstanding
current rate

then we can go on the calculator?

some banks allow you to get your overpayment back

Also good idea to extend the term

Go to your lender straight away and they should help you through this . Don't bury your head on the sand . Try and get rid of any debts and go through your finances with a tooth comb and see where you can save . Maybe take on extra work ?

You will go without clothes , meals out holidays etc for a long time but I promise you you will come through the other side . I've been there OP

Please see your gp for mental health, you are worth so much more to your family alive

I don't have a mortgage, but I have been in an awful financial situation a years ago: essential bills on credit cards, payments being missed, not sure how I was going to keep making rent payments.

@mortgagequandary you need togo to your GP and tell them how you are feeling and the thoughts you are having. You are absolutely wrong about your family being better off if you are dead. I dislike the word catastrophising as the worry and thoughts you are having will feel very real and rational to you. But you are taking previous worries and fueling the worry you have now.

Practically, you have been able to overpay, you have one year left of a fixed rate and when the mortgage ends you will likely less than £100k left? Your payments are not going to have some of the very high repayments you are reading about in the news.

But please speak with someone about the thoughts you are currently having. I have been where you are and I cannot tell you how happy I am that I am still here. So are are family.

This is an anxiety/mental health problem, not a financial one.

OP says they work 5 jobs between them - she works 40 hours (doesn't mention her DH's hours, but lets assume at least the same given he has a main job and an evening job and 40 is just a standard full time job).

Even at minimum wage they'd early 21,670 per year EACH.

A combined monthly take home of £3600 after tax/NI between them, at least.

Even if the mortgage rate went up to 10% (exceptionally unlikely), the repayment would be £936 per month - around 25% of income. And that's a repayment mortgage over a 25 year term - lots of flex to switch to interest only or to extend the term to reduce payments.

So, realistically, even the worst case scenario, is very affordable to you, which I hope you find reassuring.

What you do have to do, however, is address why you feel like you do. It sounds like quite extreme, disproportionate anxiety over something that shouldn't be a worry for you. Please visit the GP to get some help with this, you shouldn't be living in a state of fear over this - as it happens, you're going into this is a much better position than most.

Hi OP, bless you, it's a worrying time but honestly you are over-reacting.

I lost my mum young and I would have given anything for her to be alive - there's no rational way that your DCs or DH are better off without you - please go to the GP about these suicidal thoughts, you need help.

Absolutely loads of people, including me, are going to find it a major PITA when we move off our fixed rate. But, the banks will be offering the best rates they can, offering to extend your term, offering you interest-only, etc etc - all to help you keep affording the payments.

Even in the worst-case where you couldn't pay the full amounts, the banks would still not rush to repossess, you'd have time to put the house on the market and re-invest your equity in somewhere smaller if you absolutely had to.

I also agree with PP that your 3 jobs might not be the best use of your time. Can you speak to some recruiters in your area to see if they can find you a better hourly/monthly income with a single job?

Wish you all the best and please get some help for the suicidal thoughts. Every kid would choose to have their mum alive, every time.

Others have given lots of advice. But the other thing I noticed is ...

If you're on a fixed term, financially it probably isn't efficient to be over paying your mortgage at the moment. Assuming the interest rate on your mortgage is lower than you could get on a savings account you are better saving the money and either overpaying before the new rate comes into effect to reduce your loan then, or using the savings to help pay for things as you go.
Obviously you need to be firm with yourself this money isn't to spend.

I took my new mortgage out in March this year at 3.4% and borrowed extra, my % rate doubled, payment went up £100 a month as a result. I've making more in savings interest than it is costing me for a while now so if you took your mortgage out before then you should be able to do the same.
Note, we borrowed extra to fund maternity leave so haven't needed it yet as baby isn't due for a few more weeks.

Lots of good advice about your suicidal feelings above. Pleas speak to someone TODAY and get help. You will very unlikely lose your home but even if you did that matters nothing compared to you being in the world for your children and DH and friend and other family.

Re/ mortgage you're already doing all the right things. Keep find with overpayments if you can, but you don't need to do that if it's making the rest of your life difficult.

What is your house currently worth? Get it valued. With only £100k left you may be relatively low loan-to-value meaning better deals are available to you.

Do you have a mortgage broker? If so, speak to them early. If not, find one and start discussing options for next year.

How about you and DH's incomes? Will anything change (for good or bad) in the next 12 months?

Few people can afford over payments. Remortgage on a longer term. DD did this. It’s not a big issue. You have made it into one. Have you looked at 30 years? Or interest only for a few years. Most people are looking at this. No one likes it but overpayment is a luxury. Just remortgage for longer.

Two questions:

How old are you?
How many years do you have left on your mortgage?

If you can extend the term when you come to renew that would be your easiest option.

Otherwise speak to your lender. There will be options including switching to interest only - which isn't ideal but will keep a roof over the kids head until they are old enough to move out, at which point you would be in a position to down size.

Also there is still a year to go. If you can over pay your mortgage now or start saving to give you a buffer it will also help.

Don't panic.

Please listen to this and take it on board, OP. There are so many steps before the bank will take your house.

It sounds like you have Anticipatory Anxiety, where you get stuck in a vicious circle of catastrophising future events. Please see your GP, there’s lots they can do to help.

We also currently overpay and are facing a rise in March when our fixed term ends. My lender has a calculator on their website which allows you to choose from current products to see what they would cost if you switch to them. I was very surprised when I did this that our new payment will be about the same as we are currently overpaying. So we will just continue to pay the same, and no longer overpay, until rates drop again. You don’t have to continue to strive to pay off early - mortgage debt is intended to be long term. Mine won’t end until I retire, and I am absolutely fine with that.

Get yourself in possession of some facts to help reassure you that this disaster you are foreseeing is very unlikely to materialise, and then look for some help with your mental health, so that you can live happily in the home you have worked so hard to buy.

I absolutley understand your feelings. I was renting, but the the fear of homelesness is awful. It can totallly break you.

You have a long enough time, save save save. Banks don’t just repossess at the first missed payment. Extend the term, you’ll have better LTV than the first time you took the mortgage out.

Op speak to a mortgage broker. They will help you look at all the facts and possibilities. You won’t be made homeless. Youre worth so much more to your family than 4 walls. What you’re anticipating is the worst case scenario and very very unlikely to happen. Please speak to a good mortgage broker and tell them all these things - they will help you work through a plan for the future! Xx

You need to sit down and work out your income and outgoings. You may be surprised at what you're actually paying out for.

You then need to prioritise your bills. Housing, utilities are priority. If you drive to work and pay for parking the bus may well be cheaper at a max fare of £2 per journey. Can you reduce you mobile phone costs. I pay £14.99 per month on mine.

Go to moneysavingexpert and get advice from the debt free wannabe board.

Finally go see your GP as you sound like this is depression talking.

First of all I have been made homeless before with my DD, so I do understand.
One suggestion, can your children share to have a lodger for a year or so, until this mess is sorted?

I had a young person starting work at a local firm which helped for a while.

Do you have a Citizen’s Advice Bureau near you? They give free, impartial advice and are highly regarded

Lots of good advice here. I would stop making overpayments for now and build up savings to help pay increased mortgage when the fix ends. On paper it might not be the most financially sensible option but I know that I would feel a lot more secure with even a small cushion of savings.

Am I right in understanding that your total remaining mortgage is £103k? Because if so I do think your past experience is making you spiral unnecessarily. With two working adults in ANY form of legitimate employment, that will be affordable. You can extend the term, agree a mortgage break if you both coincidentally lose 5 jobs between you (unlikely), switch to interest only if it really was just a question of keeping a roof over your children's heads, but none of that should be necessary on that size of mortgage.

Ring the doctors. Be totally upfront and tell them you are suicidal, don't pussyfoot around it.

There's some excellent advice from previous posters about managing your mortgage. I have am not experienced with that stuff, but as someone with a severe, yet managed, long term mental illness I feel qualified to say - you must deal with your suicidal ideation before anything else.

I really wish you all the best, and remember you won't feel like this forever.

Definitely this

Stop over paying and save for the increase

You’re pushing water up a hill doing it the other way

if you are overpaying 500 a month into the mortgage - stop. Overpay that money into a savings account

you then have 12k (you say you have a year) in available funds to pay the mortgage increase (so if you currently pay 800 a month and the new mortgage is 1100 then take the extra 300 a month from the savings pot. This will last you a while and the rates will hopefully come back down if not to where they were but to better than now