Hi
my mother is 55, moved from cuba to U.K. age 26 with no immediate family around except her husband me and my brother.
She has a history of chronic depression , smokes and doesn’t want to quit.
in 2020 her mother passed away from CoVID in Miami and she spent 2020-2022 in America with her sister.
she has not been able to get over her mothers passing and still wails most nights and talks to her dead mother and current medication (mirtazapine 45) hasn’t helped too much and she doesn’t sleep at night.
she lives with my dad who gives her spending money for the grandkids but he thinks she is buying clonazepam off the internet ( she did in the past ) very expensive £2 a tablet as she is spaced out /confused and can’t walk most days .
my dad and her sister keep nagging me to visit her more and that her seeing the grandkids will solve everything but even after such outings in the past she will relapse quickly. I don’t like hiding much as she is a smoker and I don’t like exposing my kids to the third hand smoke on her clothes even if she smokes outside. They don’t nag my brother much who has a daughter age 2 and has only seen my mum about 3-4 times since December 2022 when she got back from America .
when me and her have a disagreement for instance I told her not to send my photos to certain people she doesn’t have healthy discussion about it she just storms off outside and I don’t like the kids seeing her unstable behaviour.
I have to ring her Gp at 8am in the mornings to try and get her a phone appointment but there’s no guarantee she’ll answer the phone. We’ve tried to get her to counselling referrals but she doesn’t answer and can’t seem to stick at anything. It’s exhausting for me mentally as I have Aspergers and anxiety and have to treat her like a kid as she can’t be trusted to make her own appointments. I do think an inpatient stay at a women’s hospital would be what she needs as she’ll get instant access to counselling.