I don’t think I will ever understand 😭😭( trigger warning - suicide )

[Nervouswreck25]

I’m sorry I just can’t get my head around what has happened is it my fault.
My Daughter’s dad died 2 years ago due to Ill health - we was not together at the time but it effected me a lot.

me and my partner fell out end of April after there was some incidences regarding finances / lies / manipulation and control.
since the it had been non stop
parcels arriving at the door, long letters, destroying my friendships, hacking social media accounts / some really off key sort of stuff.
he has a child who he has custody off and today I received a 7 page suicide note of a 2 week planned suicide to land on the day of the anniversary of my daughters dad death.
he sent it to me through Royal Mail it was 7 pages of telling me he had only wanted a second chance and how he chose the date so I would never forget.
he had gone through with it and now I’m so lost and Confused. It’s been released to media now and I just don’t know what I could of done differently
😭😭😭😭

Where do you think your choice was in his desision op? Because it was nowhere. Therefore not your fault.

I’m so sorry that this has happened. It is not your fault, you don’t deserve to have had this out on your shoulders.

If you want to talk to someone who gets it, this organisation are really helpful. https://uksobs.org/?doing_wp_cron=1685741369.3502559661865234375000

I'm sorry he chose to do that. And I'm sorry he tried to blame you.

This is not your fault.

There is nothing you could have done.

His choices and actions are not your responsibility.

OP none of this is your fault. What an awful person this man was, what a shock for you.

It was a 7 page suicide letter, written and planned 2 weeks in advance with the intention of causing maximum pain to you. He was never, ever, not going to go through with it. There was absolutely nothing you could have done, his resolve was too strong.

He sounds incredibly abusive. And what a nasty thing to do to you. Do not blame your self.

He was controlling, he couldn't handle the fact he was losing his grip on you, and he's committed the ultimate act of spite so that he gets to live rent free in your head forever more.

What he has done is utterly, utterly abusive to you and I'm so sorry. He's not the first man I've known to commit suicide in a deliberately spiteful, manipulative way in order to punish a woman.

You will need proper counselling and support to process this horrendous act of violence against you. It will take time.

None of this is your fault and there is nothing whatsoever you could have done. He made his own, horrible, decisions and they speak to the kind of person he was. I will be thinking of you xx

My family have been through this. It has a name - it is known officially as a ‘Hostile Suicide’ - where others are blamed.

In our case the location, method and suicide note stated that it was to wreck our heads for the rest of our lives.

It was important to know that this was just another emotionally violent act consistent with his abuse in life.

I am sorry that you are enduring this and I hope you can lean on friends and family in these early days and not let this pollute your mind.

Take care.

Completely agree with this! There was nothing you could have done, please don’t ever blame yourself for his actions (I’m sure easier said than done), it sounds like he did it with the cruelest of intentions.

So sorry to also hear of the loss of your child’s father, you are definitely very strong 🤍

Oh wow, that is disturbingly sick, the thought outness of it all. Shocking

He showed his true self right to the end. You have nothing to blame yourself for.

You didn't kill him

He chose to die. Chose.

And used that as one last brutal, hostile act against you

Everything is raw and heightened right now. Of course you're over wrought and not thinking straight. But that will lessen in time

Take care of yourself now, you have your whole life to live and you don't need to give his memory any space in it

He tried to manipulate and control right up to the end. He chose this. He chose to do it on a date that you already struggled with, after lying, and trying to destroy you in multiple other ways after you left him. This isn't on you. He made a choice, and I hope his child is ok, but this is not on you, it's on him

Absolutely agree it is not your fault. What a cruel and selfish act he chose. Awful for you and for the child he had custody of.

Incredibly disturbing and horrific abuse!
Please try to stay strong for your own daughter, and please do get professional help. And ask your friends and family for support. You must not blame yourself, he was mentally ill.

Sadly, Death doesn't make a person better than they were in life but we do like to think well of the dead and to brush over their darker side.

Don't be tempted!

He sounds to have been ill and took his own life because of that illness.

He remained a manipulative abuser to the end. His last letter rather proves how right you were about him.

His darker side wanted to hurt you and have power over you from the grave. Disappoint him with all your strength.

Don't bother trying to understand, it'll drive you potty. Just be glad he's out of yours and your daughters life and feel no shame for that.