PMDD is going to kill me

[Depressionhasbeatenme]

Dramatic but very true title I'm afraid. Every month it gets worse, this month I very nearly took my own life and there was nothing in my world that was going to stop me. I'd got everything lined up, all was good I was all set last night to go away this morning and end it all.

I came on my period overnight and although the feeling is still there I'm now able to stop myself.

I have spoken to my doctor about this, I can't take the pill due to other health issues, I am on the waiting list for a hysterectomy due to adenomyosis but that could be years away plus they are wanting me to keep my ovaries which won't help my pmdd.

I am absolutely miserable with this now, I get 10 days a month where I'm not suicidal or paranoid, most of which I'm on my period which is a whole other horror story. Yes I'm having a moment of clarity today where I know it's stupid but actually this moment of clarity recognises how miserable I am for the majority of the month and is now also going along with it. I don't know what to do anymore.

I understand, I have pmdd too. Trying g to get anyone else who doesn't ha e this condition to fully appreciate what you're going through every month is nigh on impossible. Unless they are a sufferer (or live with someone who has pmdd). I wept when I first read about this condition, as it was a real thing. It's genetic, and linked also with post traumatic stress disorder.

If some women are wondering if they have it, they don't. It is debilitating. Starts in your twenties usually, and you can't fight it.

I really feel for you.

I had a zoom app with a private specialist who specialises in pmdd and the menopause and he improved my symptoms with meds. Only took one appointment, then a follow up to see how I was doing. The nhs carried on the prescription and have done ever since, he just sent it over to them.

I also manage it by taking a work out as much as possible every month. Dealing with others is practically impossible.

The negative feelings aren't real. You know that. In lucid parts of the month you do.

Please let me know in a pm of you'd like the specialist's details.

I wanted to let you know someone understands and I'm so sorry you feel this way.

Taking a week out, not work

A colleague of mine specialises in women's health and has experience of helping women with PMDD. Happy to DM you her details if you'd like.

Thank you both, I would love it if you could share the details of these specialists please. I'm desperate

I have suffered in the past from PMT, PND and menopausal depression. I have never had PMDD which I understand to be a way more serious condition altogether.

I remember reading an article by a doctor about how much hormonal health is underrated and how women are more often given antidepressants.

I think you need to see a specialist as soon as possible. Does your Gp know this is making you feel suicidal? Please tell him/her loud and long.

I think when you are not in the bad phase of your PMDD you need to go hell for leather to see a specialist. Do you have a relative who could advocate on your behalf? Just be relentless.

As already pointed out, sometimes you can go private, and get referred back to the NHS. I know you are waiting for a hysterectomy, but it sounds like you don’t really think it will help.

Your life should not be like this. Sending sympathy and I really hope things improve for you.

Peter Greenhouse.

Google for his details, if stuck let me know and I'll pm you.

He really is wonderful. Good luck op, there aren't words to say how much I feel for you.

Done.

@Vintagecreamandcottagepie would you mind saying what meds you take? Just in case my current meds stop working for me.

I'm currently on sertraline and combined pill tricycling 3 packs back to back (brand name levest) and it's worked wonders.

Like pp said it starts in 20s and gets worse every month!! My hormones and moods were more stable as a teenager! When I got to my 30s realised I was spending at least 3 months combined out of a year absolutely miserable and raging because of stupid hormones I realised how much of my life that was going by.

I only live in a small rural area with famously bad healthcare but my NHS doctor was great. Didn't question my self diagnosis and she said life is too short for periods and recommended the combined pill as above. Definitely seek a second opinion if the first doctor is dismissive. The first weeks were awful my moods crashed even further so I signed myself sick off work for 2 weeks and did absolutely nothing so I could rest and recover. 9 months later and I've never felt better. Barely had 2/3 very light periods since. Happy days.

Just writing my story here in case it helps another woman in future ♥

I was the same. Increasingly suicidal feelings every month, it was so awful and ruining my life.

I was referred to a gynaecologist, had a trial of prostap injections (they turn off hormones and induce a temporary menopause). The prostap was life changing, even with hot flushes and sudden menopause symptoms I felt a million times better.

I had a full hysterectomy last year, ovaries and uterus both gone and I feel like a new woman. I was 33 when I had it done.

It is possible! There are NICE guidelines that make the treatment options clear. You might just have to be quite assertive about what you need. Mine was all done on the NHS, and it was only around a year between referral and my op. I had it at Liverpool Women's.

I understand too. Going through the 2 weeks of PMDD is horrendous, coming out the other side and realising what happened, having 10 days of relative normalcy and then watching yourself slide down the black tunnel again. I found it and the cycle of it utterly traumatic and although I feel better now I still think about what I went through as it had such a damaging effect on me.

Antidepressants didn't help me but I know they are usually used as a first line. Have you tried any medication?

It was only when I started to add perimenopause symptoms to my list that the GP started to take a different view and referred me to the specialist pms & meno clinic at Chelsea & Westminster hospital, where I was immediately prescribed HRT to even out the highs and lows of my cycle. Unfortunately I then had to go to a separate private clinic due to my nhs follow up appointment being constantly postponed, but the consultant sends my prescription requirements to my GP who then issues it via the nhs. I was 42 when I started hrt but battling debilitating pmdd since I was about 37/38.

I don't know if HRT would be an option for you. Perhaps the benefits would outweigh the risks?

I'm sorry you're going through this and I understand how tiring it is to keep fighting for it to be fully recognised and to get help.

If you can’t take the pill, could you have the Mirena coil? It stopped my periods altogether after about 3 months. Sorry if that’s already been considered.

Fucking hell. I'm 53 I've never even heard of it.

@Depressionhasbeatenme I hope one of these specialists can help you & quickly!!

in the meantime is there someone you trust who can stop you taking your own life when you're in the grip of this????

you can't go through this again next month... what if???

(((Huge hugs)))

Thank you everyone for taking the time to reply and to those of you who have sent me details of specialists to help.

I have tried the mirena in the past and it wasn't successful - it's why I've been approved for a hysterectomy. I really am lost now.

@ThirstyThursday now you have hopefully you'll be able to support anyone in your life who you suspect may have it. I've been accused of being bipolar, unstable, emotionally manipulative, irrational, among other things. So If anyone close to you fits those descriptions and you've noticed it's cyclical they may at the very least have severe PMS if not PMDD.

I've lost a lot of people I was close to because of my mood swings and I don't think the isolation helps. I'm going to have one last throw of the dice and contact my Dr again this week.

My dd has adhd and terrible pmt. She has been loads better since taking sertraline. Only 50mgs but it's levelled her moods dramatically.

OP I'm so glad that you've been given the names of a couple of specialists. I know private consultations are expensive but I hope you get to speak to someone really quickly.

@Isheabastard would you mind saying what you've done to treat your menopausal depression.

OP I have also been diagnosed with this you are not alone, I read once that 1 in 20 have this but 90% are misdiagnosed and 30% are suicidal. It scares me out of those women who are misdiagnosed how many may harm themselves not understanding what it wrong. I was diagnosed by a private GP she sent notes regarding condition to my GP who admitted he had never heard of it and still put me on the wrong medication! After another 6 months of feeling utterly miserable I rang again and spoke with a female doctor who realised his mistake. Starting to feel a lot better now but I still find if I'm in a highly stressful situation I can become irritable quickly. There is nothing worse than not feeling like yourself but having zero control over how you are feeling. You are 100% right unless you have it no one understands, I've had responses oh it's only severe PMT !

@kizziee I had trouble getting on with HRT because of migraines, so I have been taking antidepressants. They helped a bit, but I didn’t find a magic bullet. I have muddled my way through for years.

Im older now and the depression has mostly lifted, though I’m still getting hot flushes.

How are things for you?

@Isheabastard thanks for reply. I've had a horrible relapse recently and have upped my ad again (was on a very low dose of a tricycle before.)
Still really struggling. Probable need to give it a bit longer because AD also stopping me from sleeping at the moment which doesn't help.
I am two years after last period. Im sorry that you have struggled but it's good to hear that things slowly improving over time (I'm too worried to try HRT at the moment in case doesn't suit me and I make things even worse.)
Sorry to hijack OP

No pmdd sufferer should take the combined pill. Often we are progesterone intolerant and it will make it worse.

@Pepsipepsi (and op) The specialist told me that basically women with pmdd can't handle the fluctuations of the hormones in a monthly cycle. It's why we are symptom free during pregnancy.
He prescribed me a low dose of oestrogen, and progesterone 12 days a month taken vaginally. I would say this has improved my symptoms by 50%, which has made it bearable and allowed me to function for 80- 90% of the month, instead of 60-75%.

I'm so sorry to those who have had hysterectomies because of this, but I totally understand it. Menopause can't come quick enough for me.

Decent help page for PMDD on Mind website. This is the direct link to the Treatment page for anyone looking for more info. Thankful that my current meds are working. Honestly dreading peri and menopause, but crossing that bridge when I come to it
https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/premenstrual-dysphoric-disorder-pmdd/treatment/

@Pepsipepsi Pmdd symptoms will disappear at menopause..

Op, the problem with giving your doc one more go is they will know nothing or very little about this condition...

You need to try a specialist.

I have PMDD, I was referred to gynae who put me on monthly injections to turn off my ovaries that day, so as a pp said, temporary menopause. I have to take HRT with progestogen in it to protect my womb and ovaries until I have a hysterectomy (I need to lose 2 stone before they will do it, which is near on impossible with the HRT and the myriad of psychiatric medications I take)
The HRT doesn't suit me, but at my latest appointment the consultant said I will feel much better after my hysterectomy and will be able to just have oestrogen.
My body does not tolerate progestogen at all

Or body can't handle progesterone, I can never remember which one!!

You need to see a specialist urgently.