PMDD is going to kill me

[Depressionhasbeatenme]

Dramatic but very true title I'm afraid. Every month it gets worse, this month I very nearly took my own life and there was nothing in my world that was going to stop me. I'd got everything lined up, all was good I was all set last night to go away this morning and end it all.

I came on my period overnight and although the feeling is still there I'm now able to stop myself.

I have spoken to my doctor about this, I can't take the pill due to other health issues, I am on the waiting list for a hysterectomy due to adenomyosis but that could be years away plus they are wanting me to keep my ovaries which won't help my pmdd.

I am absolutely miserable with this now, I get 10 days a month where I'm not suicidal or paranoid, most of which I'm on my period which is a whole other horror story. Yes I'm having a moment of clarity today where I know it's stupid but actually this moment of clarity recognises how miserable I am for the majority of the month and is now also going along with it. I don't know what to do anymore.

Go to the International Association for Premenstrual Disorders (IAPMD).

You can email them and they will offer peer to peer support and help you with resources. I have it. It is very dangerous and you need medical support. Sending love.

@Vintagecreamandcottagepie Isn’t Peter just fantastic? DH is a medic and we only found out about him when reading a paper, otherwise I think we’d still be dealing with well meaning GPs who just didn’t have the specialist knowledge.

I really, really recommend getting in touch with him, OP. It is possible to turn things around and you could see a very real difference.

My immediate advice, now you are in the better half of your cycle is to keep a mood diary. The evidence will help with hastening a diagnosis. There are plenty of apps which make recording easier which is helpful in the post ovulation phase when life gets put on hold.

it is beyond horrible but there is help out there. Let us know if you need any contact details.

I go through exactly the same thing. It's soul destroying. I was misdiagnosed as having bpd and depression. I started tracking my mood and it turn out I actually have severe PMDD. I'm a nice happy calm person for around 12 days a month and the rest I'm irritated, paranoid like you, angry , crying suicidal mess.

My poor family have to put up with this so I said enough is enough and I'm going to see renowned endocrinologist in July. She is a huge advocate for female health . I think you need to find someone similar near you. As a matter of urgency. I feel for you because it's hell and until very recently it wasn't talked about or treated.

Well put @summerfinn

Hope you get some relief.

Thank you everyone, genuinely. Just knowing others have found successful treatment is giving me hope.

I hope this thread can support any woman going through hormone related mental health issues - be it PMDD, PMT or menopause. We need to be noisier about it I feel.

Hi there, I've tried to PM you but it wouldn't work :/ please could you kindly PM the name of your specialist (my daughter is suffering terribly with PMDD, seems to be getting worse)? 😊🙏

Sorry, should have read on further!

This is amazing advice. Just watched a YouTube video on Peter talking about vulval pain and practicialky cried all of this relates to me and what you ahve all said.

Thank you for this, he is even really local to me! X

He works and makes appointments through the Bristol clinic but we had our appointments over Zoom as he spends much of his time in France. It worked really well and he was a fantastic support to our daughter: really went above and beyond.

I was finally diagnosed - just under 2 months ago. 2 months ago yesterday it actually made me try to take my life.

It had already been growing noticeably worse as I head towards my 40's but with my life - hectic/chaotic and always some sort of trauma (also diagnosed with cptsd) that it took that fatal day in August to get some attention.

I have now started on ridgevidon, alongside my sertraline, quertapine and zopiclone for sleep. I also have diazepam on prescription for those days. Im now just able to see the signs with thanks to realising there was an issue and paying attention to my moods over the past 8 or so weeks.

Have they offered antidepressants? They really help my pmdd.

Oh you poor thing. I know exactly how you feel. I can't take the pill either and after a breakdown at the doctors she put me on sertraline. It was the first time I had felt stable for years. Is this something you could consider?