A pain free exit

[WorkCrises]

I’ve been thinking about Suicide for some time. Unfortunately I’m a coward and want a pain free exit. I’ve found a forum that gives advice on a method - I won’t give it on here as I don’t want to encourage others. It seems pretty easy if I can source the product.

My boss is horrific, my husband is not much better - I have no one I can talk to in real life. Im not even sure I want to talk to anyone.

I don’t know what I want from this post?? I guess I need help but hate the GP surgery. I don’t really want the help.

Anyone been here and happy now?

You need to see your GP, they will be able to help you x

I didn't want to leave your post unanswered. Please talk to someone. The world will always be better with you in it.

Hello OP, we are really sorry to read you are feeling this way.

We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged up to us we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources. You can also go to the Samaritans website, or email them on [email protected].

Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you will be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other MNers will tell you, it's really a good idea to seek RL help and support as well.

We also like to remind everyone that, although we're awed daily by the astonishing support our members give each other through life's trickier twists and turns, we'd always caution anyone never to give more of themselves to another poster, emotionally or financially, than they can afford to spare.

Wishing you the very best
MNHQ💐

OP call the Samaritans. They'll listen.

If you don't like your GP service, call 111. They'll listen and talk and signpost you to the best help.

You can get through this, you need to trust in the professionals.

Do you have any friends or family you could lean on?

You can leave your job and get another one.

You can leave your husband and get another one (or not).

You can't get another life. This is the only one you have.

Not talking is fine, but not allowing the people who love and care for you to help you through this period of your life is not fine.

Please talk to.someone. I.am grieving as a result of my partner's suicide. It is torture. Yiu no doubt feel tortured. I read somewhere that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Please speak to someone. You can turn this around and start living life as you should. Big virtual hug.

Hi OP. I've been there, and I am much, much happier now. My (now ex)H was awful, my job had become unbearable and I didn't see any hope for the future. Over time, tiny little chinks of light began to appear in the darkness. At first they didn't even come close to outweighing the pain, but eventually the balance began to tip the other way.

It would be genuinely tragic if you were to die in these circumstances, and suicide is a permanent solution to what is almost always a temporary problem. That said, you are obviously in a lot of pain right now and you absolutely deserve to be looked after and helped through this. Not killing myself was the hardest thing I've ever had to do, but it was worth it.

Please reach out - your GP, the Samaritans... Not everyone will be helpful but when you find someone you click with who can help, they can help you get on the right path.

Good luck OP, sending you love and strength from someone who's been there 💐

Hi. I am so sorry you feel like this and have no one to speak to. Please call your local mental health crisis line or go to A&e, there will be people there to speak to.

You can change your job - what type of job would make you happy?

Does your husband understand how you feel? Have you told him? My husband has ideations of suicide regularly but I have learned how to spot signs and what to do to support him, but I needed to listen and learn. Maybe your husband needs to do the same?

Your life can be better and it may seem miles away, but it is closer than you think - you're having a hard time right now and I wish I could give you a hug.

Please, please speak to someone - at least give it a try?

Oh Sweetheart, you don't need a pain free exit - you need to leave your job and your husband. That probably sounds insurmountable, but really, it's not.

Get signed off sick, right now, call 111 at the very least. You don't need to go back. Speak to a professional, if your husband is abusive physically or mentally, call women's aid. Call the samaritans, please just talk to someone

You can change your job, you can change your marital status, suicide is a permanent solution to temporary problems friend, please get on the phone to samaritans or 111 so others can help you out of this very dark place.

Hi OP, I’m sorry to hear you are in so much pain that death is the only way out of it. I have been where you are and it was an impossible slog to get through each day.
if you had a more supportive boss & husband do you think you would still feel this way?
I want to echo the advice on reaching out to the Samaritans. It sometimes takes a few tries to get through, or to have the courage to talk, but they listen judgement free for as long as you need and can be a great help at getting you through the darkest moments

And to answer your question - I am very, very happy now. It took a long time, but I am forever grateful I was rescued after my attempt. Recovery was slow, but very much worth it. It needs to take one day at a time

I’ve been where you are now and it was the worse time in my life. I did speak to my GP and was referred to the mental health team who saved my life. As someone up thread said it didn’t happen overnight but gradually light came back in. I left my job and got divorced which was really hard but I’m in a job I love now that is less stressful and am happily single. It was a hard slog but I’m really happy now and I look back on those times with wonder that I survived.

Call 111 and let them know how bad you are feeling - it could be route out of it but you won’t know unless you try x

Please try leaving your husband and job before doing any irreversible.

OP can I just say, I think you're incredibly brave for posting here. To me, this suggests maybe you do want the help but you're just scared to ask for it in real life.

I really hope the responses you read encourage you to reach out. You deserve happiness and you can't have that if you're no longer here.

You're not ready OP. You're fighting for yourself by posting on here. You can find your way to a better life. One with joy. Even if you can't see it today.

Very well put.

I used to struggle with suicidal thoughts quite often but have only attempted once. I never know the right things to say to those who feel the same because I know how fragile my mind is in those moments. I would suggest that the fact you have time to think about it is an opportunity to make other decisions. as a PP said, you can get a new job, leave the husband but suicide is permanent. I would absolutely contact the Samaritans, I can say they have definitely saved my life on more than one occasion. You should be able to contact your local crisis team without speaking to your GP first. I have walked into a&e feeling my absolute lowest, expecting to be turned away but was dealt with so respectfully and kindly that I managed to turn my mental health around. Please talk to someone.

Don’t give up. You never, never know what is round the corner. I think a lot of people have dark thoughts at points in their lives, but life throws up all kinds of opportunities which you would never expect and which make life worthwhile.

Please get yourself straight to A&E

And tell them you are thinking of killing yourself. They will know what to do.

Hi WorkCrises

I'm sorry you're struggling.

I'm not so sure that there is such a thing as a pain free suicide, and no suicide method has 100% success. If you don't manage a quick clean death you could end up suffering in the most horrific ways, and if you survive, you are likely to have caused yourself permanent harm, which usually means more pain.

I lost a partner to suicide, and a close friend. What I can tell you is that it will be incredibly painful for those who love you to lose you. You might not think people love you but there are friend who usually only ever see what you're doing on facebook these days, who will be absolutely devastated.

People turn their lives around at any age, from the most hopeless of situations. In 12 months time you could be single and healing, and in a job you like, seeing the friends and doing the hobbies that you enjoy, and living a life that you enjoy.

I get that you hate the GP surgery - is it the surgery itself, or GPs in general? Most appointments are on the phone these days so you wouldn't need to go in, and there is a very high chance that there are medicines that can help you to feel better and enjoy life. If you're feeling at the end of the road, there's no harm in talking to a GP, is there? Same with ringing the Samaritans - there re even text helplines and therapists that you can text talk to, instead of on the phone if you like. And you will always, always be welcome on Mumsnet to talk to us here.

I fully understand. I too am struggling today and have struggled many times before. I have had a lot of mental health support in the past, sometimes it has helped, sometimes not. Unlike many here, I found the Samaritans to be ineffective. I carry on because I have a beautiful granddaughter and 2 grown up children who love me. I carry on trying for their sakes, not for my own. Medication can be helpful so it's worth trying. I also have found some help from books. Reasons to stay alive by Matt Haig was good. I stayed with my husband because I didn't have the strength to do anything else and I wish I hadn't. I am too old to change now.
Don't be me. Garner your strength and make another life for yourself. Volunteer abroad. Get out of the toxic environment you're in. Xxxx

@WorkCrises
It takes huge courage to reach out in a bleak time, when you're suffering, and you've done that here.

The organisation below is amazing.

National Suicide Prevention Helpline UK
0800 689 5652 (6pm-midnight, daily)

"Our helpline is here to support you when you feel you need us.
This can be different for everybody – some people can reach that point daily, and for some people it is a rare occurrence. Our helpline volunteers are empathic and non-judgemental, providing a space and time for you to talk about how you're feeling or somebody close to you".

I wish you all the very best.
💐

I was sectioned in January last year after a suicide attempt. I didn't believe anyone when they said it could get better I was completely determined I would be in the darkness forever if I couldn't kill myself. One year on from it I start a new job in a couple of weeks and I'm up at this hour as I'm going away for the weekend on an early flight! Life can get better even just s little bit. And then the little bit turns into a bigger bit. Please Hold on for all the things you could be able to do I'm so glad I did. We will all die one day that is a definite but if you just give yourself a random date now in the future like the 15th December and think I can hold on till then and see what changes I could make then reassess how I feel.