A pain free exit

[WorkCrises]

I’ve been thinking about Suicide for some time. Unfortunately I’m a coward and want a pain free exit. I’ve found a forum that gives advice on a method - I won’t give it on here as I don’t want to encourage others. It seems pretty easy if I can source the product.

My boss is horrific, my husband is not much better - I have no one I can talk to in real life. Im not even sure I want to talk to anyone.

I don’t know what I want from this post?? I guess I need help but hate the GP surgery. I don’t really want the help.

Anyone been here and happy now?

I've been there, I hated my job & my husband was useless & didn't understand I managed to leave him & a couple of months later I went off long term sick from work & never went back. I got ill health retirement & haven't worked since. Write a list of all the things that would change your life, a kind of bucket list & tick off each one as you do it. Is it just you & him? If so leaving will be easier as you only have yourself to worry about. Get on Rightmove, find somewhere to live, then tell your husband you are leaving, you can worry about sorting stuff out until you have made the first move. Once you have moved either go off long term sick & job hunt or carry on working but grey rock all the crap,just go, do what you have to & take the money, you can job hunt as well. Give it a year & you will be a different person.

I hope you don't mind me interjecting here, but I feel the exact same way.
I spent hours tonight staring at my "pain free" method trying to work up the courage. I feel like an utter coward. I'd never give myself this advice, but please sweetheart, you're worth so much more than that. What feels insurmountable right now can't be when measured against your worth. Take a breath, take several. Get a bloody good sleep. No world will ever be better without you in it. Dig deep and that voice that's stopped you doing it, amplify it to get yourself heard with the doctors. Help can be on the way, I’m so sorry that you have to put yourself out there to fight for it, but I promise you if you do, it'll come. Regardless of Mumsnet vipers, I’m sending you a huge virtual cuddle

Check out this place too. Amazing people. I spent a week there. It was a refuge.
https://www.maytree.org.uk/

Great advice. Very pleased you're in a better place. I will reread your post to remind myself.

I hope you're feeling tolerable today, @WorkCrises You asked if anyone has been where you are - yes, we have! Several years ago now, I was being bullied by a lunatic boss, I was married to entirely the wrong person (who also bullied me, in a different way), and my dad had just died. He wasn't a nice dad, but his unexpected death sent shockwaves through my life. I was drinking far too much. I didn't exactly want to die, I just wanted it all to stop. And it wasn't stopping, so I wanted to stop.

I called Samaritans. I know they just listen, and didn't really think that waffling on to some stranger on the phone would be any help. But I felt I "ought to" ring them, as that's what you're supposed to do. I'm glad I did. The bloke was fantastic, really gentle and supportive. At that point, I'd kind of forgotten there are nice people in the world - just being able to speak to one of them was a huge relief. I rang him back after my hour was up, then called every evening for about a week.

The marriage ended, the job ended, I started therapy. Plenty of other stuff went wrong afterwards but I was better supported. I've always felt a bit safer for knowing I can call Samaritans again.

You're worth a little more effort. x

I just wanted to pop on to say thank you to everyone. I’m reading and re reading all the comments. They’re helping. Thank you. x

@WorkCrises

Watching and re-watching these 2 videos (3 minutes long, total) from Staying Safe From Suicidal Thoughts, reassured and helped me through my lowest points:
https://www.stayingsafe.net/index.php/needhelprightnow

Reading these during my worst times also helped:

#DearDistressed campaign uses powerful and heartfelt letters written by people with lived experience of suicidal thoughts and who are now in an emotionally-safer place.
https://www.4mentalhealth.com/deardistressed

Sending you my continued thoughts x

I am sorry you feel like this and I hope you will reach out to one of the organisations suggested to get some support. I've often contemplated but never all that seriously so I can't honestly say I have been where you are and am now happy. But I have been doing therapy for some months and I feel a lot happier.

In practical terms, please, please, please don't believe any of the stuff you read on these websites. They have no way to prove that their supposed pain free method is genuine. I mean, if it does work as people say, how do they know? The person is hardly going to come back to report exactly how grim or otherwise the experience turned out to be. And if you do try and it doesn't work then you could be stuck with irreversible physical damage alongside your current mental pain. That is surely not worth the risk.

I absolutely feel your pain. A call to the gp will not help as the issue is something that is literally life threatening