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Am I right to feel extremely depressed and suicidal?

27 replies

summerfinn · 20/03/2023 13:53

I'm feeling at rock bottom. I met my current fiancé over 4 years ago. I already had 9 year that I was bringing up totally alone( his dad just disappeared when I told him I was pregnant. I was 21 it was horrific. I had the baby and my parents promised they would always help me out with him.

Things with my abuse mother got worse at home she began hitting and verbally abusing me. My father always stuck up for her. I was then told to leave the house one morning with my ten month old . I had no money no job no car and no where to go. I stayed with a friend until I got social housing.

After a couple of not great relationships I thought I hit the jackpot with my current partner, he was kind, generous with his money ( he seemed to have a lot of it due to his job) we went on a holiday to time and soon after I found myself pregnant.We were both extremely happy. He didn't have a house of his own as he moved back from abroad to his mothers house.

He said he would buy us this big house in a gorgeous area , as my house was only a two bed social house. He had said his mother was remortgaging her house( his sister and her 4 kids lived there with her) and half of the money of this house was going to be my partner's. Around 500 thousand.

This still hasn't come to light. To make matters worse we moved into my dads 4 bed rental as he had broken up with his partner and could afford rent alone. We also couldn't stay in a tiny two bed as my 3 year old had no bedroom and could share with teenage brother. My father was okay to live with for a week then it all went downhill. He rarely interacts with my youngest, doesn't help out with house work or anything. Said he rather eat alone and buy his own shopping , we where going to cook his meals and have him with his a dinner table. He has shouted at me when I question his grumpy attitude.

The worst part is we decided to ring the estate agents to find out if he even bothered putting us on the lease. Turned out he told them it was a six month thing and temporary us living there. The house was in such bad condition that we did up all the bedrooms, had to put in new floors ect , it cost us a fortune.

So now I'm in a position where I have to wait until April to see if the landlord will agree to us staying a couple of years . As estate agent won't ask until then. Also I'm living with my father a man who I came to help but continues been abusive and hasn't even apologised for not telling the estate agent the truth. I'm worried sick and angry that I'm in this position. I was promised the world by my partner. I don't even have a home. I don't have a job to get us out of this situation. I just want to die.

OP posts:
HopeMumsnet · 21/03/2023 12:16

Hello OP, we are really sorry to hear you are feeling this way.
We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged up to us we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources.
You can also go to the Samaritans website, or email them on [email protected]. Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you will be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other MNers will tell you, it's really a good idea to seek RL help and support as well.
We also like to remind everyone that, although we're awed daily by the astonishing support our members give each other through life's trickier twists and turns, we'd always caution anyone never to give more of themselves to another poster, emotionally or financially, than they can afford to spare.

glasshole · 21/03/2023 13:02

Op you sound so passive in this entire situation. I am very sorry you feel so bad at the moment but it seems like you seem to think that these things are just happening and you have no place in them but in reality you do. You have made choices that have bright you to where you are. You had a fine 2 bedroom house, even the smartest two bedroom house is fine for an adult couple, a ten year old and a baby. But you chose to give up your security for a pregnancy with a man that has promised you the world and not delivered. Honestly if my adult kids asked to move in with me I would Absolutely only expect it to be short term. Why would I want to live with other adults if I don't have to? I would be doing them a C favour but if they moved in, spent a fortune and then tried to get me to move OUT it's absolutely right that I would be angry and shouting. I'd be shouting at their entitlement. It's MY house and I'm doing them the favour!!

You have made a mistake and now you need to prioritise finding your own place to live. In your shoes I'd be having an abortion , dumping the new god that blinded me with empty promises and focusing on my self and my 10 yo child.

Out of curiosity, what do you do for work? What does your DP do for work?

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