Enough now. It is too much

[LargeQuarterPounderwithfries]

Please please can I have a hand hold. I have ridiculously bad ( can’t work , frequent panic attacks ) severe and extreme anxiety.

I have GAD, OCD traits and what I believe to be Adult Separation anxiety disorder.

This has been a struggle for a very long time and is getting worse .

Today I have triggers and I have not stopped crying. Anxiety has been through the roof. Have had two Diazepam and a glass of wine ( I know- not meant to be mixing) but I feel really really unwell.

Please can someone hold my hand and give me some more distraction techniques.

It is absolutely vile and I hate it.

Please help me with this.

Bump

That sounds like a really shitty day and I agree that it's utterly vile.

Most of the distractions more frequently suggested like baths and audiobooks and music and hand cream and stuff don't work well for me; the most reliable distractor for me is a very involving, high-adrenaline video game that absolutely demands my full attention, like GTA V (single-player), pinball simulations, racing games, things like that. Something that pulls my attention in rather than requiring effort to focus on, something that's very immersive, and something which works with my state of high arousal, but also something where if I fail it doesn't actually matter. I avoid online play because worry about being targeted and ruining my rating or about letting other people down would defeat the purpose.

Do you have anything similarly immersive, high-arousal and low-stakes you could do?

I'm here x

Mindfulness app is the only thing that helps me, have you tried Calm or Headspace? Worked wonders, you have to stick with it everyday for a couple of weeks. Turned my life around.

Here too. I've been there, it's vile. Do you have any long term meds?

Thank you so much for your kind replies.

I am sat here with swollen eyes and tears streaming down my face.

You are all very kind . I am struggling so badly it is unbelievable.

I’m so sorry to read that you are feeling so low op. I don’t have any advice but just wanted to add to the voices of support. I hope you feel a bit better soon.

The anxiety is real. It feels real. The intrusive thoughts feel real.

I put my hands over my face and I cry and cry and cry. Half a bottle of wine down and two diazepam. It’s the only way to deal with it. The only way I know how to.

Honestly I can’t bear it. It is utterly utterly fucking awful.

Of course it's real… it's one of the most awful feelings. When it happens to me I have to take lorazepam four times a day, just to take the edge off enough to be able to speak. Anyone who thinks it's not real is very lucky because they've obviously never experienced it.

Have you been able to think of anything you can try that might make things more bearable for a few minutes?

So sorry OP that you feel like this. Can you contact your GP in the morning? Have you ever tried the peer to peer support on the Mind website? You can chat any time day or night.
www.mind.org.uk/information-support/side-by-side-our-online-community/

I hope you get some support and start to feel better soon xxx

Hello OP, we are really sorry to hear you are feeling this way.

We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged up to us we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources. You can also go to the Samaritans website or email them on [email protected]. Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you will be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other MNers will tell you, it's really a good idea to seek RL help and support as well.
We also like to remind everyone that, although we're awed daily by the astonishing support our members give each other through life's trickier twists and turns, we'd always caution anyone never to give more of themselves to another poster, emotionally or financially, than they can afford to spare.

MNHQ

Op, is there anything else that could help? Could you get some air (even sitting in the garden as second or two?) could someone come and be with you?

Oh op I don't think people who haven't struggled with anxiety and panic disorders will ever know how bad it feels. I know that absolute sickening feeling like you literally want to crawl out of your own skin with panic. It's the worst feeling in the world

I can't advise as I got myself put on Lexapro after a bad episode where I just cried so much I couldn't ever imagine feeling normal again but I do and so will you , here if you need a chat x

Hi OP. I'm with you atm and also have OCD intrusive thoughts. The intrusive thoughts totally add to the anxiety and it's so hard to explain to others how deep deep down you know the intrusive thoughts are crap but it's the relentless bloody 'what ifs'.

I am sorry to hear that others are suffering.

It is relentless and just makes me feel sick and I am sad that you guys are going through it too. And the worst thing about it is the sheer loneliness. It’s trapped inside and as a pp said it makes you want to crawl out of your own mind and skin.
I have cried so much today my eyes are completely swollen. I have just taken another Diazepam and will no doubt take another one before bed.

Hugs to you all 💕

OP,

I've been there. Not able to eat or sleep because the anxiety has taken over everything. The seconds feel like hours and there is no escape. BUT my doctor got my medication right and now I lead a totally normal life (don't get me wrong, I stilll worry/ feel sad/ angry etc but it's no longer an illness) please know that there is hope, medication changed my whole life and maybe that's not the route you will choose but there is light at the end of this seemingly dark bleak tunnel. You will be ok.

Still awake. Still a ball of anxiety. Not crying which is good but my face and eyes are a swollen mess.
Feel utterly exhausted but can’t sleep. My
word this is awful.

I'm sorry you're still feeling awful. It's so gruelling when everything's screaming out for sleep but your anxiety won't let you… would it be within your prescribed dose to take some more diazepam, not as a sleeping tablet but to try to bring down the anxiety to allow your own tiredness to take over? If not, it might still help to rest in the dark with some quiet music so you're not in the silence with your thoughts.

How are you today OP?