Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Mental health

Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have medical concerns, please seek medical attention.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

Friend wants to kill self! Urgent text!

32 replies

Kirstenwe456 · 31/12/2022 21:28

My friend has been texting me that she wants to kill herself because she can’t live without her boyfriend who has said he wants space. I have told her that she will feel differently in a few weeks but she doesn’t see a way forward. I’m not sure if she is serious about suicide or just crying for help but I’m not taking that chance. I’m not used to these situations and don’t know what to do to stop her!

OP posts:
cantfunctionatall · 31/12/2022 21:30

Are you able to go to where she is and be with her ?

Jojobees · 31/12/2022 21:31

you could call the emergency services and put a welfare call in for her.

DuplicateUserName · 31/12/2022 21:31

I take it you've reported to the police?

IDontWantToBeAPie · 31/12/2022 21:32

Call the police and get them to check on her

Iwritethissittinginthekitchensink · 31/12/2022 21:34

You could ask her if she’s made any plans - it doesn’t put ideas in people’s heads but can help you decide whether you need to call the police.

Is she close to her family and could you get in touch with them for help?

Ultimately what she does is her decision and it isn’t on you, so don’t panic - you can help as best you can but you don’t have the power to save her. It’s good she’s talking to you.

Can you talk on the phone or see her in person instead of text? Having someone stay calm with her and able to help her hold her feelings might help.

ChristineCagney11 · 31/12/2022 21:37

0800 58 58 58
That's the phone number for CALM "Campaign Against Living Miserably"
Their phoneline is open between 5pm and midnight every day.
Give your friend a ring and give her that number then ask her to contact you after she has.
I've used them myself in the past and other people I know have too.
I'd really recommend them for anyone feeling depressed, anxious or suicidal

MNHQ
EstherMumsnet · 31/12/2022 21:37

Hi there,

We are really sorry to hear your friend is feeling this way. We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged up to us we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources. They can also go to the Samaritans website

or email them on [email protected].

Some further support links:

NHS: Where to get urgent help for mental health
NHS: Looking after your mental health
MIND: Coping with mental health problems during coronavirus

CALM: The Campaign Against Living Miserably
NHS: Help for suicidal thoughts

We are also moving this thread to the mental health talk area so you can get the best possible advice.

Very best wishes from MNHQ.

gamerchick · 31/12/2022 21:38

You send the police for a welfare check OP.

Insertusernamehere123 · 31/12/2022 21:38

Please go and be with her if it's possible. If not, is there anyone else you could send over to her?

Sunshineandrainbow · 31/12/2022 21:39

Can you get to her?

Aquasulis · 31/12/2022 21:41

Ask where she is and go and phone 999 to give them her location

Original poster
Kirstenwe456 · 31/12/2022 21:42

It’s not possible for me to be with her at the moment but I keep telling her to talk to her sister who she lives with (she doesn’t get along with her parents) but she thinks her sister won’t care (I don’t think that’s true)

OP posts:
DuplicateUserName · 31/12/2022 21:42

Kirstenwe456 · 31/12/2022 21:42

It’s not possible for me to be with her at the moment but I keep telling her to talk to her sister who she lives with (she doesn’t get along with her parents) but she thinks her sister won’t care (I don’t think that’s true)

Have you called the police or not?

They're going to be far more useful in the immediate moment than Mumsnet.

GrapefruitGin · 31/12/2022 21:43

Please drive over and be with your friend

Wolfiefan · 31/12/2022 21:43

Can you contact the sister?

Original poster
Kirstenwe456 · 31/12/2022 21:56

I’m too worried to contact the police or get sister incase she feels like I’ve backstabbed her and it makes her worse!

OP posts:
MolliciousIntent · 31/12/2022 22:01

Kirstenwe456 · 31/12/2022 21:56

I’m too worried to contact the police or get sister incase she feels like I’ve backstabbed her and it makes her worse!

What's worse? She's safe and she thinks you've backstabbed her, or she's fine with you but she kills herself?

Are you both very young?

MackenCheese · 31/12/2022 22:01

Just call the police then. Several people have asked you to do that. This is a notorious time of year for suicide.

lifeinthehills · 31/12/2022 22:03

Kirstenwe456 · 31/12/2022 21:56

I’m too worried to contact the police or get sister incase she feels like I’ve backstabbed her and it makes her worse!

That's silly. Sorry, but I know someone who sent very similar texts, the person ignored them, and they were dead hours later. Call the police, call anyone, go and be with her even if it's a pain for you. Don't ignore it.

AndyWarholsPiehole · 31/12/2022 22:05

She is an adult. Tell her that if she plans to kill herself then you need to inform the police. Let her know you care but if she's feeling that low then she needs professional help.

FatAgainItsLettuceTime · 31/12/2022 22:06

Is she an adult OP?

We're all making that assumption because of the forum you've posted on but we may be wrong.

DuplicateUserName · 31/12/2022 22:08

Kirstenwe456 · 31/12/2022 21:56

I’m too worried to contact the police or get sister incase she feels like I’ve backstabbed her and it makes her worse!

Sorry but that's a silly attitude.

Call the police, best case scenario they'll save her life. Worst case scenario she'll get the hump with you and stop worrying the life out of you unecessarily again.

Catapultaway · 31/12/2022 22:09

Kirstenwe456 · 31/12/2022 21:56

I’m too worried to contact the police or get sister incase she feels like I’ve backstabbed her and it makes her worse!

So you've went from not taking any chances to actually not doing anything except for posting on Mumsnet.
Either go to her, tell her sister or contact the police... Or take chances.

TabithaTittlemouse · 31/12/2022 22:12

Kirstenwe456 · 31/12/2022 21:56

I’m too worried to contact the police or get sister incase she feels like I’ve backstabbed her and it makes her worse!

Worse than killing herself?

Unforgettablefire · 31/12/2022 22:17

If you don't know what to do to stop her then the police are your answer.
If your friend is threatening suicide you can't say you're taking no chances then just do nothing. You need to ring the police and like op have said there's no real harm done if she's not serious.