They say life begins at 40 but I wish mine was the end...

[Meltinthemiddle]

I feel like I've lived the best years of my life and probably not to it's potential but I feel like there's nothing else to look forward to. I just see old age and illness and loss. Both my parents are fragile and I just feel this incredible sense of dread that they won't be here for much longer. I just feel like I'm done, I went to uni, got married had children who are now teens and now what else is there? I've made choices which have led to this life and career that I hate but I have no motivation to change it. I'm just tired. Life is just tiring and boring, I literally have lost enjoyment in everything that's once brought me happiness. Is this normal to feel this way when you get to this age?

You've written my post for me, except my children are young and that's making it worse. I know it shouldn't and I should have joy but I just can't. I can't find any joy in caring for him and I miss my parents so much. They are alive but live 200 miles away. I think I am depressed but undiagnosed. I am close to hyperventilating/bursting into tears. I can't even sleep and I used to sleep a lot to deal with How I I felt. I honestly just wanted to snuggle up with my parents and be a child again. I've just come back from theirs after Xmas there and that's exacerbating it all.

Hi both. Sorry to hear you are both struggling. However you are aware and have reached out so that's a start. There is always a low after big events like Christmas as expectation is so high then you crash down. It does sound like depression and this can be dealt with. Take control of the things you can and one is get to the doc and talk to them. I am 60 and trained as secondary school teacher at 42. Still there.It will get better and you will be able to look back and see this as an experience you will learn a lot from.

@Azafata I so needed to read that. Real yet hopeful. Thank you.

Can you reframe this as a moment in time? Feelings come and go. There are points in life that feel like you’re at a crossroad, not sure of which way to turn and how the future might pan out. But these moments pass - other moments we feel more sure of ourselves and where we want to go and what we want to do next.

Be gentle with yourself in this moment and the next

Same op.
Told dh this morning l need to start living a little bit not just going through the motions of work etc

I think a lot of us feel the same. I turned 40 this year and just feel tired and flat a lot of the time. Are there any areas in your life where you could make a change?

I feel that same. Hit 35 and my sister got cancer, both grandparents died traumatically of cancer after having bits of their body removed, had infertility and 10 miscarriages before 2 babies, traumatic births and now my dad has cancer for the second time after having his colon removed. I’m overweight, crap job, struggling with money. The good bits of life don’t compensate for the bad and Im honestly wishing for Putin’s nuke to end it all.

I feel the same and recently started a post about it and loads of other people posted saying they feel the same. www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4703946-anyone-just-done-with-life-at-middle-age?reply=122493073

Your comment that the good bits of life don’t compensate for the bad is so true

There is a known happiness curve with a slump/dip hitting different people at different times around middle age. I felt pretty similar to you in my 40s but am enjoying my 50s so much more and expect my 60s to be even better.

Therapy, HRT and cutting back booze have all helped me. So has finding a job I enjoy in a company with a friendly and supportive culture. If you have been happy in the past, you are more than likely going to be happy again in the future. Doom and gloom messages about the economy don't help but this too will pass.

Hope 2023 is a better year for you all.

Thank you everyone, I've tried changing jobs but I seem to have massive anxiety and this loss of confidence. I question everything I do and say. I feel like people are judging my work performance and I'm just questioning my ability all the time. I've tried joining the gym but struggling to go. I've been to the theatre, concerts out with friends and I'm just numb I don't feel alive or excited. I just don't feel anything.