I seriously need help :(

[themesmor]

I'm feeling so low.

Today was meant to be a really nice afternoon with my DP. We were going to go Christmas shopping and grab some lunch. When we got into town, I just lost it. I was so overwhelmed, it was so busy.. I didn't know where to begin and I just majorly freaked. I felt like crying and wanted the ground to swallow me up. I was literally fighting back the tears, and I feel so ridiculous as i honestly can't put my finger on why.

We've argued since then. DP and I are newly married, happy usually but I often really struggle with my mental health. I just get so overwhelmed.. it then makes me completely Indecisive and stressed. I hate it, I can recognise when I'm getting overwhelmed as I get uncontrollably angry and tearful and frustrated with myself.

Anyway. I'm now beating myself up as I've essentially wasted the day. We had a lovely day planned and I couldn't even cope with it. We have come home early. I've said things I don't mean to DH when he's just trying to help me. I feel like hurting myself.

How pathetic. Just because I felt overwhelmed.

I'm out on a drive currently. I've pulled over near a church. I just want to hurt myself. Everything and everyone I've driven past I just want to drive into. Just to feel something. I just feel numb.

Is it possible to check yourself into a mental health care-centre? Is there such thing? I just want to feel understood.

Im mega stressed in daily life at the moment. My work is stressful and looks to be going under, with redundancies left right and centre. We aren't sure if we are going to make it to Christmas. I am also struggling with TTC, and DH and I are going for our first IVF appointment this coming week, following 2.5 years of struggling and having had an appointment last week, at the hospital, after a 1.5 year wait on the waiting list. I got there to be told I'd been placed on the wrong list all along.

I just can't do this. I don't want to feel like this any more.

I physically hurt.

I don't have any advice but I couldn't read your post and not reply. Please don't hurt yourself, it won't achieve anything and this can be turned around, there is help out there. Please contact someone, either Samaritans, MIND or CALM (campaign against living miserably) x

You aren’t pathetic. I have no mental health knowledge whatsoever so sorry if I say the wrong thing. Are you safe? Please don’t hurt yourself. Go home, have a bath and go to bed. Make an appointment with your G.P tomorrow💐ring 111 or the Samaritans they can help you.

Also, please call your GP tomorrow and push for some help and support x

My heart breaks for you reading that It seems like a lot going on all at the same time. It's not surprising you feel this way and reacted how you did. I wouldn't beat yourself up about it, it sounds completely normal to me.

If you've said things you don't mean then apologise for them and explain.

I hope you get the help you need.

Phone the GP in the morning, you'll be taken seriously and will be able to access help.

Hello OP, we are really sorry to hear you are feeling this way.
We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged up to us we usually add a link to our mental health resources: www.mumsnet.com/webguide/mental-health. You can also go to the Samaritans site www.samaritans.org or email them on [email protected]. Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you will be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other MNers will tell you, it's really a good idea to seek RL help and support as well.
We also like to remind everyone that, although we're awed daily by the astonishing support our members give each other through life's trickier twists and turns, we'd always caution anyone never to give more of themselves to another poster, emotionally or financially, than they can afford to spare.
We are going to move this thread to the Mental Health section shortly.

There are private mental health facilities however they're very expensive and also taking on NHS patients atm due to the bed shortage so might not be as freely available.

You need to see your GP asap and get some help.

Also it sounds like you have a "d"p problem, he should be supporting you not causing an argument

There is no stress except what you make.
Haw you thought about why you suddenly lost it?
Your post mentions both redundancy and TTC. Please forget about TTC until you know how work is going to be in the future.
Take care.

OP sorry to hear you're feeling like this.

I get like this sometimes (the "overwhelmed" in particular) and I have ASD and ADHD. Have you ever considered that you might be neurodivergent? You do sound like you have a lot going on so it may just be that of course

I'd avoid inpatient mental health services at all costs. Unless you have psychosis or something that needs intensive treatment, these places have a tendency to make you worse (because they remove you from "real" life and you then struggle going back to a stressful world).

There are a few things that may help:
Place your face in cold water, hold your breath for 30 seconds - this will dampen down anger and agitation
Breathe! 5 seconds in, 7 seconds out. Go SLOW on the out-breath! This will decrease your heart rate

The fact is that you got overwhelmed and maybe another day will be more productive. Thats IT. Not "wasted" a day, not pathetic...just got overwhelmed. Stick to the facts. Beating yourself when you are already feeling shit isn't going to be helpful for you.

I have a suspicion about what the problem you are having is however you'd need to be seen face to face by a professional for confirmation. You are more than welcome to message me though I just have a brain full of useless info that may be helpful.

How spiteful can you get

cue the armchair diagnosticians ;)

Im mega stressed in daily life at the moment. My work is stressful and looks to be going under, with redundancies left right and centre. We aren't sure if we are going to make it to Christmas. I am also struggling with TTC, and DH and I are going for our first IVF appointment this coming week, following 2.5 years of struggling and having had an appointment last week, at the hospital, after a 1.5 year wait on the waiting list. I got there to be told I'd been placed on the wrong list all along.

Look at how much you are dealing with - work stress plus conception worries. I think you are being very hard on yourself. Maybe today was just too much - you might be better having restful days rather than trying to do anything high pressure. Being placed on the wrong list must have been very upsetting

Try to think what you would say to a friend feeling the way you do - I bet you would be understanding and kind.

I just can't do it. I don't know which way to turn. I want to hurt myself just to feel something but I'm too much of a wimp to even do it. What the hell is wrong with me 😔

@Keyansier

Not spiteful at all . OP has had a complete meltdown and has a lot going on and seems overwhelmed. It seems sensible to focus on herself as a priority.

Jesus wept. Are you devoid of compassion?

Sorry you're feeling this way OP. I have been where you are and it takes a lot of work to recover, but you will feel better. Put yourself first, call gp and get the ball rolling for your mental health. You'll be so glad you did.

Hi @themesmor
Is there someone you trust near by that you could go and see? It doesn’t have to be your DH but someone you know will be able to support you. Someone who you can tell how you are feeling just now. A friend, family member.

im finding it very hard to say whether you need to head towards A&E now. But you sure need support in RL. Maybe before tomorrow am.
Please dint stay on your own in your car.

Oh and ignore @FelicityFlops .
Some people have no clue.

There is nothing 'wrong' with you. You are very upset. The way you are feeling is one of the ways humans feel when very upset.

You don't need to do anything just now. You can just accept that you both want to and don't want to hurt yourself. Take deep breaths and try to accept that you are having a hard time.

What would you say to a friend who was having a really hard time?

I think the best thing might be to phone the Samaritans and tell them how confused, scared and upset you feel. They will totally understand and will be able to talk you through what to do next.

There's nothing wrong with you.

You are incredibly stressed. Much too much, bless you.

@themesmor
If you phone the Samaritans they will listen to you for as long as you want them to. They can't advise you but they will be a non judgemental listening ear. You can sit in your car and talk to them even. That way you won't be alone with the feelings you described.

A phone call to the doctors as soon as they open. I'm hoping you have real life family and friends you can lean on as well. Hugs.

And agree with @carefulcalculator - the Samaritans is a good idea, just so you can pour out your feelings and feel heard x

@themesmor The Samaritans really are very experienced, there is nothing you can say that will shock them, they deal with people having just this type of bad day all the time