I don't think I can do this anymore

[AbsolutelyFuckingSick]

This is going to be a self indulgent whinge. I have completely had enough. I have ptsd which is currently making my miserable life unbearable, the medication I take doesn't seem to make any difference anymore. I haven't slept for weeks, I look and feel like utter shite. The kids are suffering because of my complete inability to function.
The gp knows how much I'm struggling but I guess there's nothing they can do.
[* Post edited by MNHQ to remove reference to suicide method]. I can not see a way out of this at all. Oh and to top it off, I have just failed a uni assignment, another failure to add to the list.

There are a bunch of helplines listed here:

www.nhs.uk/mental-health/feelings-symptoms-behaviours/behaviours/help-for-suicidal-thoughts/

Please please talk to one of them

Please ring one of the helplines OP. Talk it through. Your kids need you.
Dont worry about the assignment. It's a big ask to do when you're not well.
Can you call any friends or family to come and sit with you? Tell them you're feeling really low and need company.
Take care.

You should see what support there is at university- they do dedicate funding to MH professionals and resources so try them

also if your meds aren’t working then you should definitely ask the GP to try something else

what is your sleeping pattern like? ADs usually make people sleepy so consider adjusting time you take them

do you have a husband or family?

I'm a single parent. I do have family but they aren't what you could call supportive, mental health issues in my family are about as welcome as a dose of the clap. Tbh even if they were supportive, the reason for my ptsd would cause major issues.
I'm just so so fed up. I'm terrified all the time and it's exhausting.
I don't really know why I'm posting. I just want it all to stop

Suicide is a permanent solution to life’s temporary problems.

All what you have mentioned can be tackled individually, some will just resolve over time and others you will need help and support.

You would not want to end it all because your foot was very sore or broken but your mind is another body part that doe you at the moment feels very sore and broken.

Please contact your GP again and contact organisations such as MIND.

You can’t see it because you are sitting under a black cloud that hangs above you and darkens your whole world.

With the right help, whether it be counselling, medication or both - the cloud will go away in time and you will feel the warmth of the sun in your face again and smile at the blue sky that was hidden from you whilst you’ve been unwell.

Keep posting on here. Even ask specific questions on a new post about what helped a persons PTSD

the experience and advice on here is amazing at times!!

whst are you studying? Are you at college or uni?

how many kids?

First small thing, email your college and telll them you’re struggling- there are things in place to help. Contact your doctor, tell them you’re desperate and need to talk and lastly today just sit with your kids. Play or watch tv or whatever you do to chill and just try to breathe. All they need and want is you.

Just hold on OP. It will get better I promise. It just doesn't feel like that right now I know.

Have you asked GP for referral to secondary services - Community Mental Health Team?

If you are suicidal and not responding to first line treatments they should be involving a psychiatrist.

Ah honey, it sounds like you are dealing with an awful lot. Even without PTSD and having experienced trauma, being a single parent and doing a uni course is a lot for everyone.

I would definitely go back to the GP . have you been referred for any more mental health services.

I know it’s shitty at the moment, provision wise but please do ring someone like MIND or the Samaritans. I think the pp posted the numbers.

This is how you are feeling right now and there are very good reasons why you feel like this. However, things change, they really do and feelings can change too.

People recover from mental health issues all the time and you reaching out on here is a fantastic step. The first step is often the hardest and you’ve been brave enough to post.

Keep talking on here, keep reaching out and you may well find that this is the beginning of your recovery.

sending you strength and hugs.

I will try and email my tutor. It's so ridiculous that a simple task like that seems unmanageable
I have been referred to the mental health team, my appointment is in January. I can't think that far ahead, the thought of living like this until then is too much.
Everyday is just a never ending nightmare.

I second getting referred to the CMHT. They diagnosed me with CPTSD, and gave me much better medications. I too was very much on the brink of unaliving myself, at Uni, single parent to 3.

Oh, and as it took 4 months between referral and appointment, my GP gave me Diazepam to tide me over. I wouldn’t have lasted 4 months without it.

I've had two friends undergo EMDR for PTSD and they've both found it enormously helpful.

Don’t think about next week. Just focus on today

Second another poster. Don’t look too far ahead. Take it a day at a time.

In the meantime can you go back to the GP? Please tell them how serious this is.

I understand what it’s like to feel like the smallest thing is unsurmountable. But look at what you are doing, focus on that, not what you’re not doing or struggling with.

Little by little you can recover from this. Just keep breathing. A day at a time.

Thank you all for your kind words, it does mean a lot
I'm trying to concentrate hour by hour but it's not easy. I guess it wouldn't be so bad if I had an actual bed time and some sleep to focus on but that doesn't happen

have You heard of the calm app? Supposed to be great for helping people to sleep

also I discovered recently that there is something called ‘brown noise’ as opposed to ‘white noise’ it’s good for the brain to help it switch off from raging thoughts

its on Alexa or probably YouTube

I was exactly the same. I was struggling anyway, then something else happened, and it didn’t just tip me over the edge, it threw me over it. I couldn’t sleep, couldn’t rest, my HR was through the roof 24/7, resulting in constant, back to back panic attacks/other physical symptoms of anxiety. Couldn’t sleep, couldn’t eat.

It’s deeply unpleasant. No apps/white noise/grounding techniques worked at all.

Hi OP, we're really sorry to hear you're feeling this way.

We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged up to us we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources. There are lots of organisations listed which can give you some support.

You can also go to the Samaritans website, or email them on [email protected], or call them, any time, on 116 123. Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you'll be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other MNers will tell you, it's really a good idea to seek real life help and support as well.

You can also get help from a new text service called Shout 85258. Its trained volunteers are available all hours of the day and night to listen and support you to get to a calmer and safe place. Shout is a free, confidential, anonymous service for anyone in the UK and it won’t appear on your phone bill.

And finally, here's a link to Mind's pages on Tips for everyday living.

Just so you know, we've edited your opening post to remove one sentence as we can't allow references to suicide methods. We're also going to move your thread over to our Mental Health topic.

We're glad to see that you're getting some good support from other Mumsnetters and we really hope things start to feel a bit easier for you soon.

"I was exactly the same. I was struggling anyway, then something else happened, and it didn’t just tip me over the edge, it threw me over it. I couldn’t sleep, couldn’t rest, my HR was through the roof 24/7, resulting in constant, back to back panic attacks /other physical symptoms of anxiety. Couldn’t sleep, couldn’t eat.

It’s deeply unpleasant. No apps/white noise/grounding techniques worked at all."

@NukaColaQuantum how did you manage?

I hope that you find some support @AbsolutelyFuckingSick . It might be an idea to post on the mh board, let me find it.

Please ignore me Op, I can see you did already. I’m a dufus.

This is just too hard. I don't know how I'm going to manage when the kids go to bed.
I'm hiding in the bathroom sobbing, I can hardly breathe.

Can you call a helpline?