Anyone else just feel tired of being an adult?

[Honkytonky12]

And just life in general? I'm in my early 40s, boring marriage, two ungrateful teenagers and a shitty job I hate. I am lucky in lots of ways I know as have a roof over my head and a husband who loves me but the truth is I don't know what my purpose in life is anymore or even what I want. I just feel so tired of just surviving, just getting by. It's just so tiring and some days I want to sleep and not wake up because I feel like I have nothing more to do or add.

Quite!!

This is one of the reasons that I get concerned about parents wanting their children to achieve, achieve, achieve - piling on the homework and exam pressure. It really is worth asking what all this is for, when life's joys are seldom to do with educational or career achievements.

@Mischance I'm also older (50s) and I agree 💯 with you. I've started listening to audio books on things like Stoicism and looking at lots of YouTubers who are self-sufficient, etc. There IS more to life, but it takes courage to get it.

I absolutely feel like this. Still in my pjs with kids downstairs and feel like shit

God yes, I feel like this most days. I cook, clean, go to work, look after my kids and pay bills, it's just relentless, boring, and soul destroying.
My elder three are teenagers- and can be selfish and ungrateful, and my youngest who is 10 has SEN, and although is a loving boy, is a real handful at the best of times.

Sometimes it feels like there's no joy in life, just anxiety and worry about finances, and just working to get by. I do have depression so this may be a factor in my thinking, but I can't see a life where I wouldn't be thinking "what's the point"?

Oh, and to add to it, I'm fat and can't seem to lose weight, and my house is always a shithole, and the kids just won't help me

So, no matter how bizarre or unachievable or silly it seems to you, what is it that you hoped your life would be?

What's your passion?

Write a novel?
Record a single?
Give a TED talk?
Learn a language?

Go on, tell us.

Say I want to be a better musician

That takes time

Time that is eaten away with work )paid and unpaid )

Totally. Sometimes I just want someone else to take over the decisions. The adulting. I don't want to have to be in charge of everyone and everything. I don't want to be responsible. I want someone to do it all for me for once.

gotell what's the point in thinking of a passion, when I don't even have time/energy for basic survival tasks? Life is 100% taken up with work, chidcare, chores, repeat, that's it - I don't even have time to watch half-an-hour of tv or read a book. Thinking of a passion would just be pointless.

I could have written that word for word, except I am late 40’s and throw in me having to care for my mum with Alzheimer’s as my dad (who is totally capable) relies heavily on me with little thanks.
On paper my life looks good but I feel worthless. I too have a job I don’t like and a chronic health condition which has controlled my life and that’s why I feel I am where I am today.
I don’t really have a purpose in life except to be there for everyone else.
I also no longer understand the purpose of life. It’s all shit at every corner.

I wonder if child free people feel any different? My child free friends seem not that much different from me though.

I would like to hear more about this. Do you have any recommendations?

Your post makes so much sense to me. Often think I have so much to learn from older people.

I think this is also true.
I completely understand what the previous poster was saying about the moments of joy being initiated by her. But I initiate every bastard thing around here and I am so tired of it

Oh yes. I just want to take my brain to the carwash

I feel the same. I’m now late 30s and life just feels so so hard. I have two children who are disabled and although I work, I don’t particularly like my job and it’s just not possible to switch to doing something else as I need to be around the holidays.

Everything requires work. Even looking after myself where I do the bare minimum is hard work. Joy seems in short supply.

But I initiate every bastard thing around here and I am so tired of it - can't argue with that. It does seem that it is mostly the women who make stuff happen. I guess that means we could also make good stuff happen for ourselves maybe.

I can't believe how many of you feel the same 😔

Yes absolutely.

I'm 46, married with 2dc 8 and 10. 10yo has autism. Dh has depression, mostly under control but means I bear the mental load. Our parents are all in their 80s and needing support. I do find joy in life but feel so tired now. We are going abroad for the first time as a family and just getting ready has been stressful- I can't even look forward to it. I hope it is relaxing as I really need to recharge,but dd doesn't travel well so I can't count on it.

@JanisMoplin I'm likely to stay childfree and feel the same, but with the added nagging feeling that I'm missing out by not having kids.

Yep, utterley done with it! We were conned, I'm bored, fed up and so over adulting!
'you can do whatever you want', (nope, you can't!)
'you can aim high' (aim all you like, if you make poor choices have kids it won't happen)
'get a education, it gives you choices' (see above)
'once the kids are grown up, you can have your career and travel' (thanks DH for that, I'm now looking after you too!)

I'm having a real down over it all atm. Kids have flown, this should be our time but I work FT in retail therefore shit money, DH retired, state pension only and disabled. Everything is down to me, I deal with everything.
Its Saturday night, I'm sat scrolling on here instead of being out enjoying the summer evening. DH is watching some shit on TV, muttering about it being nearly bedtime. We are fucking adults, we don't need to go to bed at 9pm!
I'm aware of getting older, not achieved my youthful dreams, lost opportunities and regrets over life choices.
On a lighthearted note, any chance of self ID as a 12 year old or a DeLoreon time machine to redo everything ?

My dp and I feel the same at times. It is relentless. I’m going part time at work (despite all 4 kids being at school) so that I can carve a bit of time for myself. I know I’ll probably just spend most of it doing housework but the peace and quiet and slight freedom will be a tonic (I hope!)

It really is shit. I was starting my career before I had my first child. I was excited for the future, motivated and passionate about my job and my future then it all ended. I was a sahm, lost my confidence and self belief and a huge part of myself. And now it should be my time, but I am emotionally drained and tied by my teenagers. I have also got a shitty job, working rubbish hours. The future makes me feel sad because there's nothing to look forward to, feel like my life has peaked somewhere along the line and now it's all downhill.

As you asked
single and child free = best decisions I ever made.

I have the elderly parent/s problem and now wish I’d moved away. But. Onwards! I think I’m about to have a second wind in my career. Feel very motivated about that at the mo, after years of it just being bills. I suppose when posters here have their DC getting older they will feel much better.

I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety years ago. It’s clinical and in many years, I feel life, and England, were so much better in the past. Even against a backdrop of me being medicated just to do my job, in the days when it was considered shameful to be ill in this way.

so life is weird. Yes, 40 is when it sort of came home to roost and I concentrated on the number of good decisions I made. But I won’t lie, the best are single and child free.

interesting your child free friends say they feel the same as parents. But you can’t really tell the truth about it in real
life. People get cross.

of course some people are thrilled to be parents and my goddaughters parents, well, it was the making of them.

anyway, I have never thought adulting was a let down. Work - yes. Property prices - yes. But generally adulting is grand. Only your boss or clients can order you about!