Feeling detached, like life is pointless

[ElsaMars]

Struggling to hide how I'm feeling apart from the horrendous guilt of feeling like a bad mum because all I want to do is escape into a film or book, on my own upstairs.

Thank goodness I have a great DH, not said anything to him but it's hard hiding how spacey and not really with it I feel.
I need strategies to help me 'come back' - I'm not feeling present and life feels so meh and pointless.

I slowly reduced ADS and was fine but I had a harmful thought at home, alone earlier, so any advice would be great, thanks.

Have you reduced ADs under your doctors guidance?
Is anything else going on in your life atm that's contributing to the way you feel?

Yes I can totally relate and feel the same I have 2 dc also and feel awful as I much prefer to be on my own I thought it was just me! as most mums I know are loving being with and doing stuff with their kids but I honestly just can't be bothered I've having been dreading these school holidays. How old are your dc? Can offer no advice sorry other than to let you know you are not alone in how you feel.

Hello OP, we are really sorry to hear you are feeling this way. We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged up to us we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources. You can also go to the Samaritans website or email them on [email protected]. Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you will be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other MNers will tell you, it's really a good idea to seek real-life help and support as well.

We also like to remind everyone that, although we're awed daily by the astonishing support our members give each other through life's trickier twists and turns, we'd always caution anyone never to give more of themselves to another poster, emotionally or financially, than they can afford to spare.

Some further support links:

NHS: Where to get urgent help for mental health
NHS: Looking after your mental health
MIND: www.mind.org.uk/information-support/

CALM: The Campaign Against Living Miserably
NHS: Help for suicidal thoughts

We're going to move this over to the Mental Health topic now. Very best wishes from MNHQ.

I have a health condition which is hard. My DCs are 3 and 8. I want to be on my own all time, it feels wrong and I guess unfulfilling but I can't get out of it.

Hi OP

I think the first thing is to explain you feel a bit disconnected to your partner so they can help you get time out. And then on Monday ring your GP, it sounds like the reduction in ADs isn’t working for you.

Not quite as random as it sounds, but are you in your 40s? I've found that peri-menopause has had this effect on me. I just want everyone to fuck off so I can quietly get on with doing my own thing. Ignore me if this is a rubbish idea.

I am in my 40s, so this could be part of it. Hadn't thought of that, thanks.

I did reduce my ADS without docs knowing but I did it gradually over months. Not sure can face going up again as on so many other meds that make me feel sick, tired etc.

I'm in my 40s too and was also wondering if it could be peri menopausal symptom. yes I just want everyone to f off and to be left alone just me and my dog no distractions or responsibility. my dc are well behaved so it's not as if they are hard work older than yours at 14 & 9. luckily older one occupies themselve most of the time. I just have no interest anymore in doing anything kiddie related. Are you also struggling with the housework etc like I am? used to be extremely house proud no my house is a complete tip I honestly wouldn't know where to start. I feel I've changed so much.

That's how I feel, @99redballoonsgobyy (not wanting to hijack your thread, @ElsaMars, but it's just another possible perspective). My DC are all adults now, but I have no idea how I would cope if I had younger ones. I have lost all desire to care/nurture/speak to anyone.

I'm sorry that you're on so many other meds too - the problem with multiple meds (have been there myself, so have some experience) can also be that they have side effects such as feeling spaced out/disconnected/depressed/anxious - which is yet another horrible thing to add to the mix.

I can identify with this feeling entirely. I adore my DC, as you all do, but I find myself just wanting to be alone and I hate myself for it. I can have had 9 hours sleep overnight and still desperate to go to bed alone by 9pm.

I too am in my early forties and did have blood tests but nothing untoward. It's a miserable feeling and something new to me in the last 18 months /2 years. Surely there must be something other than ADs for women with these symptoms of a certain age??!!