Can anyone hand hold? I’m trying not to have a panic attack.

[HandbagAtDawn]

I’m on holiday abroad with my family and my anxiety is out of control. I’m so worried that one of us will get sick or injure themselves while we’re here. I just don’t feel safe somehow.

This isn’t a new thing. I feel the same at home as well. I’m just about holding it together but it’s ruining my holiday and I hate being this way.

Can anyone talk me down? I just feel like crying and getting the first flight out of here.

Well, it's pretty unlikely and even if someone does get sick or injured, the hospitals will deal with it. Can you do some exercise to relieve the anxiety?

Sweetheart this is your brain doing what it is supposed to do (keep you and yours alive) but x100000 more than it needs too.

Thats it: it is your flight or fight response out of control. These are irrational thoughts which you need to separate from you. “You” is the person who just posted this. Those thoughts are the basic cave woman part of you who thinks there is a saber tooth tiger around every corner.

So let’s be rational. Let’s say someone got sick, then what? Then you’d go to a doctor. But what if they got really sick? Then you’d go to a hospital. Odds are that every single thing would end up fine.

Dont fight it, just let it be. Repeat to yourself “this is an irrational thought with no basis in reality”.

look around you; everything is fine.

Op have you been seeing a doctor about your mental health, do you have medication?

Breathe and listen to the rational voice inside your head that tells you none of the above is likely to happen.

Live in the moment and don’t think too far ahead.

Talk to the people around you.

Just breathe. This too shall pass. Your body physically can’t keep in this state for too long, you’ll be ok 💐

If you really feel brave enough then welcome the thought. Examine it. Invite it in. Make it as bad as you possibly can. Make it welcome. Say hello. Sit with the anxiety. Label it, this is my heart racing from adrenaline. This is my adrenaline because of this thought. This is my thought which isn’t working properly.

it’s uncomfortable. It’s not nice, but the more you do it the more your brain realises you aren’t running from it; she isn’t anxious, and it turns the switch down.

Thank you so much for responding.

I’m not on medication - although I’ve been wondering lately if it would actually help. I’m waiting to start therapy and my first appointment is the week I get back from holiday. It can’t come soon enough!

I’ve been trying to do my breathing exercises but I just keep crying. It’s like I’m losing my mind. I hate it so much.

I really am so grateful for the replies.

You're safe. Nothing bad is happening. This will pass.

Use a distraction if needed, like a game on your phone.

It's far from uncommon. You'll be ok.

Your protective instincts have gone into overdrive. The rational part of your brain knows that.

If someone has a regular injury or illness, the local medical system is perfectly capable of dealing with it, wherever you are in the world. If probably won’t happen, but if it does, it will eventually just become a funny story you tell because inevitably something funny will happen in the process.

you can do this. When you feel that pressure coming on, take some breaths and use your favorite calming exercise. If you are on vacation a good one might be 5 things you see, 4 things you hear, 3 things you smell,

Playing a game on your phone can also help. Or looking at cute animal videos. They aren’t the ideal coping techniques, but I think right now you need to just go with whatever distraction/mind reset technique you have available.

I would certainly suggest medication. You are ruining your life and medication will help.

Thanks. Mindlessly MNing is helping a bit. I’m feeling a bit calmer. I think I just needed someone to tell me what you’re all telling me.

DH is sympathetic but just doesn’t get it at all. He doesn’t really ‘do’ mental health.

I'm more upset that this is happening at all. I just keep thinking about the last holiday we had when I was fine and I didn’t have any anxiety. I can’t believe I was ever like that. I want to be like that again. What’s happened to me?

You're okay. You're safe.

I'm in CBT and this is what my therapist calls Hypothetical Worrying.

Write it down on your phone, give yourself an anxiety score 1-10 10 being the highest. Predict what you think is going to happen.

Calm, relax do your breathing techniques and write down if the prediction was? Was it the fact that anxiety was ruling your head but now you're calm you can see that it was your anxiety heightening and making you feel out of control. When you're calm right down your new anxiety rating. Again from 1-10.

This will pass, your anxiety will not win. We cannot let it.

Write not right 🤦🏻‍♀️.

It is a pest when that happens. Some things that help me:

Distraction - something that takes up just enough of your brain space but isn't stressful - games on your phone maybe? For me, I would choose candy crush if you are literally twitching with panic and can't process, sudoku (easiest levels) if you are able to concentrate and my top one is Merge Dragons - it is pretty enough and feels sweet enough to occupy my attention while my subconscious starts to get a grip. This isn't a long-term strategy, just part of an arsenal for getting through the worst.

Laughing - some people like the physical release of sport but for me it is laughing that pulls me back from the brink of utter panic. What gets you every time? For me, I go for Miranda or Parks&Rec or similar - I can't do anything new that might get unexpectedly serious, it's all about the guaranteed laugh.

When you get back, you can take steps towards a long-term solution, but for now, just stave off the panic with some high-intensity distraction techniques.

Have a look at this video about panic attacks, hopefully it will resonate;

Panic attacks are the worst, I really feel for you 😔 Especially to be suffering from them on holidays 😢 You poor thing. I find the mindfulness apps help (Calm, Headspace). 💐 xx

I feel much better now and for having posted. You’ve all really helped. Thank you.

Is the anxiety new? How old are you? I only ask because lots of women in their 40s get bad anxiety from perimenopause. If this could be the cause then HRT would be better than antidepressants.

You WILL feel better, this will pass.

Hm that’s interesting because I am early forties and this anxiety has come out of nowhere.

Start looking into perimenopause now. Right now. In retrospect, my symptoms started around 42, but as I was just coming out of post-natal depression, it was all put down to that. And why wouldn't I be tired home educating with 3 kids 5 and under? I knew this was something additional that was wrong. It took 4 years to work it out (zero awareness by drs), then 2 to get proper, expert help.

The anxiety was off the charts at times. Around ovulation I would start to be afraid of everything, unable to sleep, in the highest state of alert constantly. Looking back, it was a some kind of high-functioning continuous panic attack, hidden by using every damn strategy and molecule of energy I had. I don't know how I survived. I wanted to drive into walls just to make it stop.

Omg this is me.

My anxiety kicked in out of nowhere at 40. I was fobbed off by the GP with antidepressants whichade things worse for me. Finally got HRT at 43 and it's made a massive difference to my anxiety. No life circumstances accounted for the onset of the anxiety and HRT fixed it.

I also had other mild symptoms, like tinnitus, waking early, getting migraines, dry prickly skin etc but it was the anxiety I found debilitating.

I'd also recommend you closely track your period and symptoms. I found my anxiety and headaches were worse just before my period. Realising it was hormonal actually helped reduce the anxiety as I knew I'd not feel as bad in a few days. I found that with anxiety the fear that it would never go or get better perpetuated the feelings. Realising it had a cause (hormones) has helped me manage it. Not as much as HRT has mind!