Severe anxiety - unable to look after toddler

[Roxy1988]

So just that really, I have crippling anxiety and am not able to look after my dd who is nearly 2 😢 I can do short spells but other than that I am terrified to be alone with her. I don't even think it's just anxiety anymore. I have emetophobia and also feel very low. This has been an issue for about 8 months now but has gradually got worse whilst I've been waiting for CBT. Currently 3 sessions in but I don't feel like we've even touched the surface. Dr prescribed Diazepam last November and then 2 weeks ago pretty much said you're addicted to it so can't have it anymore. He has suggested I change from Citalopram (which I have been on for years) to escitaloprám which I have tried but too scared of the side effects of stopping/starting medication so still on Citalopram. I don't know what I'm asking I just feel so desperate and have feelings of not wanting to be here anymore 😢 I have called 111 on several occasions now feeling like this. I just feel noone is listening to me

i have nothing to advise… just wanted you to know we hear you.

i go through bouts of crippling anxiety too. It’s horrific. Luckily they always pass.

hope someone comes along with some useful advice.

💐❤️

@Serialcatmum thank you ❤

I find going to a walk helps

Can you elaborate a bit more on what is causing you to be anxious, what your fears are etc?

What's causing you to be anxious?

Is your anxiety worse or better at different times of the day?

Have you had some help with thought blocking techniques or 'ignoring' the anxiety feelings, recognising they are there but saying to them ''Im not listening to you today'

Citalopram and escitalopram is very similar, what is your GPs reasoning for changing?

Have you been on specific anti anxiety medication?

@Nicolarer I agree going for a walk does help to some extent

@Wouldloveanother @11Hawkins I have always have generalised anxiety but my Mum passed away last July after a short battle with cancer which I coped well with at the time 😢 I have only been this way, gradually getting worse, since about October when my dd and myself caught a stomach bug and I started having anxiety attacks.

@bellac11 the last couple of weeks, especially since stopping the Diazepam, my anxiety has been crippling during the day but I almost feel normal during the evening when my partner is home. I have never been taught the thought blocking techniques. I did think that but he said escitaloprám is better for anxiety. What do you mean by specific anti anxiety medication 🤔 that's what I have been taking Citalopram for...

I am no expert but I am just about to start escitalopram . I have been on citalopram before but advised by an expert that this drug is better for anxiety .
good luck.

Well done for reaching out. Please call the Samaritans and someone will talk with you or contact 111. What your feeling of normal but people can help you. Is there anyone in real life you trust to speak with about how you are feeling? Just remember this feeling will pass it's not a contestant feeling. You will be ok just give CBT more time and eat healthy, drink lots of water, try and sleep and relax as much as possible

I was swapped from citalopram to escitalopram, found escitalopram worked much better for me. I didn’t experience any problems switching. If you do switch I hope it brings you relief from the anxiety x

OP, both those drugs are anti depressants which are also used (and have been seen to be useful) for panic and anxiety too, but there are a lot of medications for anxiety of all sorts of types and I think that GPs are a bit too keen on just shoving people on the standard SSRIs and see which one sticks, is not right or wrong but can be a bit simplistic.

I think personally (and I feel quite strongly about this) that people that are finding their anxiety or depression quite crippling that the bog standard 6 sessions of CBT utterly utterly useless, do you have a local IAPT service that do compassion based therapy?

I would be inclined if you can to find a good online supports, Mind have some good stuff and links.

Personally a huge empowering change for me was to accept the feelings, recognise them, recognise them for what they are and learn that not everything I felt was reliable or in fact that feelings cannot always be relied on.

Anxiety is a bitch isn't it!

I'm currently in CBT too. Please do call the Samaritans if you're feeling this way.

My therapist asks me what at that precise moment do you feel so overwhelmed about? Is it something you can control or not control?

She's asked me to write down everything I feel anxious about and score it from 1-10. 10 being the highest. Then write down how I feel at that moment and how I feel once that moment has gone.

I know everyone has different levels of anxiety and what helps me may not help you.

She also says about hypothetical worrying and practical worrying.

It's okay to be overwhelmed, honestly. It's consuming isn't it. But you're strong and you will push past your anxiety. Maybe not now, not even this year but at some point you will and you will realise you're a lot stronger than you ever believed you were xx

I think though some therapists get a bit caught up with the 'naming what the anxiety is'

I never found that helpful, because mine is a crippling, disabling panic and dread, its a feeling and sensation that almost paralyses. Its often (but not always) not based on anything real, nothing to hang it on. Im sure I could fish around and say 'well it might be x, it might be z' but Ive learnt over the years that most of the time its not focused on a specific thing, there might be ruminating, uncomfortable feelings, intrusive thoughts or replaying of situations/conversations but nothing I could say 'Im worried about x', and often it was simply the feeling.

There are different strategies for how anxiety manifests itself and some CBT therapists dont really understand this.

@Elliejane thank you good luck to you too!

@quietnightmare thank you for your reply. I do call 111 when I am feeling really bad, have never called the samaritans but will give them a call if/when I am feeling particularly bad. At the moment I feel like it will never pass 😢

@Em308 do you mind me asking how long you were on Citalopram, what strength and also how you did the switch to Escitaloprám? Did you taper Citalopram or do a straight swap? I take 40mg Citalopram and the Dr said just to start Escitaloprám 10mg the next day. He did say it wasn't ideal to do it that way though. I took 1 dose of Escitaloprám the other day but got too scared to started back on Citalopram the next day 😫

@bellac11 I understand what you mean but not knowing exactly what medication does what I'm sort of reliant on the Dr recommending what he thinks is best. Is there a particular medication for anxiety that you cleave in mind 🤔

I have gone through IAPT for the CBT, I've not heard of compassion based therapy but I could ask my therapist about it. 6 sessions definitely will not be enough. Thank you for your advice.

@PinkButtercups thanks for your reply. It sure is a bitch!

Most of my anxiety is around things very much out of my control. Hopefully my therapist will go through some similar techniques.

I was on 40 mg citalopram for a couple of years and my anxiety was just ramping up higher and higher. I swapped to 10mg escitalopram. I did a very fast taper off the citalopram and onto escitalopram, within 5 or 6 days I think (it was a while ago). My sister was actually swapped from cit to escitalopram in a day. I didn’t notice any particular withdrawals etc but I was feeling mentally so bad I don’t know if I’d have noticed.

You can do a straight switch from citalopram to escitalopram. It's essentially the same drug. Citalopram is one of those medications which is made up of a mixture of two different forms of the same molecule, that are mirror images of each other. With escitalopram, they separate it out so it's only the left-handed version of the molecule, the theory being that it's the left-handed molecules that do the helpful stuff, and you avoid any side effects from the unhelpful right-handed molecules. So you should be able to just take half the dosage of escitalopram compared to citalopram, and not experience any withdrawal.

Obviously follow your doctor's advice on dosages and how to switch, but it should be one of the less difficult medication switches.

He's right about the diazepam; if you were taking it nonstop for two weeks, there was a very high risk that you would become dependent on it.

Also anxiety is a cunt. For me, when it's bad, even months of hard work in therapy only twiddles round the edges of it, and it latches on to anything, everything and nothing — it's not really about a particular thing. That's why it's a mental illness; it's something going wrong in my own head, not something that makes sense in relation to reality. For me, the answer is medication — get the right one, and the anxiety is miraculously gone. I hope you can find something that works for you.

So true

Hi op I'm sorry you're feeling this way. I have been diagnosed with generalised anxiety disorder and it's awful. I am overly anxious about many things but particularly my dc. I've had all kinds of therapy and cbt was probably the best but it wore off once I'd finished it. (I've had it more than once over the past 20 years) I was put onto citalopram which helped a little but once I started ttc I came off it and haven't been on it since. That was 17 years ago. I've struggled along without it, but I'm heartened to hear that some pp have found medication helps defuse the anxiety. My dream would be to stop feeling anxious about things I cannot control and stop trying to control them. It affects every aspect of my life including my job and my parenting and I've often felt like I'm heading for a breakdown. Just to let you know that you're not alone and I hope you get the relief from the new meds m.

Can you try some mindful meditation.

You might feel silly to begin with though they really help with calming.

I couldn't cope without steraline daily it helps me balance my emotions and live.

I missed your question OP, when I had my therapy she made a really useful observation and felt that I had quite high adrenaline rates (not sure of the descriptor) which contributed to the panic and anxiety. I had used beta blockers in the past for something else and although its not prescribed solely for anxiety (although a friend of mine seems to get it for this but she is a CPN and she seems to get all sorts of drugs somehow), I found it amazing for anxiety, I buy mine online now as I didnt need it anymore for the original problem and it helps when things are really bad.

But there are other drugs apart from SSRIs such as SNRIs and it might be that if you're not responding to one type, move to the other.

@Em308 I might try that way, just taper off Citalopram over a few days then start on the 10mg Escitaloprám. Did you find Escitaloprám worked better for you?

@ClumpingBambooIsALie thank you for your reply. I just need to bite the bullet and do the swap! I'm just scared of potential withdrawal but like you say they are very similar so should be a straight forward swap with minimal if any side effects. I might try again tomorrow. I've actually been taking Diazepam regularly since November last year, definitely feel like it has caused more problems as there is definitely some level of addiction for me now. I actually spoke to the Dr yesterday and he prescribed me more which I wasn't expecting and I have already taken 6! Not in one go but since yesterday. I kind of wish he hadn't given me anymore as I had gone 3 days without it.

@42isthemeaning thank you for your reply. I'm sorry to hear you are also suffering. Would you consider going back on meds?

@EmeraldShamrock1 thanks for your reply. I definitely need to try it, I have some breathing exercises to use but rarely use them. It's difficult to concentrate on anything when my anxiety is overwhelming.

Sertraline was actually another option for me but I though Escitaloprám would be easier to switch to as similar to Citalopram.

@bellac11 I think I will give the Escitaloprám a go as have only ever been on Citalopram. If that doesn't work I can discuss other options with my GP. I do have some Propranolol but don't like how it makes me feel. Might give it another go though.

I did not like Citalopram it didn’t suit me at all whereas Sertraline took 4/5 weeks to kick in before the changes occurred and appetite settled.

I hope things get better, toddlers are hard work they're relentless.

Keep in mind this time next year things will be very different, DD will be in Nursery a little more independent, each year gets better.

@Roxy1988 just wondering how you doing and did you swap to Escitalopram