16 month old won’t let me feed her

[Mummy9431]

My 16 month old has totally stopped me feeding her. It’s stressing me out! She wants to do it herself but all she does is pour everything down herself, barely gets any food in her mouth. I honestly can’t cope anymore. Totally had enough of worry about her food intake! She’s tiny as it is 😤

I know this is frustrating but it really is completely normal, please try not to worry (easier said than done I know) At 16 months it's developmentally normal for her to be doing things like this herself, and she will get the hang of it and get more in. Perhaps try and offer lots of different things, some of which can be eaten relatively cleanly, alongside some of the messier foods. My 20 month old still makes a mess now but is getting pretty good at feeding herself. There are some days she doesn't eat much and other days she eats loads.

Can you give me some examples of what you feed your little girl please, I struggle so much with the whole feeding process that I’ve given myself really bad anxiety and meals times are not a good vibe in our house 😥

Look at baby led weaning.

Just give her what ever you're having basically.

Clean (ish) foods

Any kind of sandwich - ham, cheese, kea it butter, chicken etc

Toast, again with any toppings, butter, cheese, peanut butter, honey

sticks of cucumber, celery, peppers, etc

Omelette

Savoury muffins and flapjacks

Pasta dishes, plain pasta if you want. Pesto, tomato sauce, cream cheese stirred through it

Fruits; banana, slices of apple, peaches, strawberries, raspberries etc

Bits of chicken/beef/pork etc she can grab and chew on

Porridge, pancakes, french toast/eggy bread

Download some baby led weaning apps or follow baby led eating on Instagram. Put some towels on the floor, offer her a variety of foods and let her go.

Toast
Avocado
Strawberries
Boiled egg
Chicken
Cheese
Pasta

Anything you'd eat really.

Just let her crack on. Lots of finger foods. Fruit to dip in yoghurt, bread for soup etc if necessary. By that age they should be feeding themselves really and should be capable of using a spoon if they want to. Mine were sitting at the table and eating the same as us at that age. I was quite laid back about feeding though (which is quite a miracle seeing as I have anxiety) and pretty much just threw food in the general direction of their high chair tray once they were 6 months old. I appreciate it's not as easy if it's one of the things that makes you anxious.

As PPs have said, any food really. My DD eats what we eat most of the time, sausages, chicken, pasta dishes, risotto, jacket potatoes, toast, eggs, beans, sandwiches, mild curry or chilli with rice, fish/scampi, roast dinners, things like falafels, seafood sticks, mini sausages/sausage rolls, cheese and small crackers, lots of veggies, tea cakes, crumpets, cereal, pots of yoghurt, soreen, breadsticks with hoummus, fruit. Most of the time she gives the cutlery a go but if she's really hungry or especially enjoying it she'll get stuck in with her hands. She makes a mess but it's good to see her doing it herself

At this age they shouldn't need feeding so completely normal,she wants to do it herself! She might be tiny buy is she underweight,what does the HV say?

Mine was the same and at the time I had never heard of baby lead weaning. I would make cereal up into a stiff paste i could roll into balls and DD would pick it up. Also I spread purees etc on to bits of toast. And little chunks of veg, potato, cheese. Yoghurt didnt really work as she couldnt use a spoon. Just give her food she can pick up and some will go in.

She has to practice though, otherwise she'll be 3 and not eating independently! My 9 month old can feed himself reasonably reasonably well!

My 11 month old feeds herself everything from pasta, to salt free roast dinners, to yoghurt, porridge, risotto etc with her fingers. Yes it's messy and loads falls into her trough bib but it's how they learn. You little one is being held back a bit by the sounds of it. Time to let her crack on.

Solid starts website tells you how to prepare food for those who haven't fed themselves before.

I feel the same OP! It's so stressful, I get you.
I've figured a way to feed my 15-months old somewhat effectively by giving her 2 spoons to hold in each hand (she doesn't try eating with hands, only with spoon). She'd try to bring food to her mouth with one of the spoons (sometimes successfully) and I'd offer her food on a third spoon I'm holding which she will sometimes eat. If she won't eat anything from the spoon I hold, I try to help her with my spoon like put food on her spoon with my spoon etc., this makes her whole eating process much more effective.

toucaninjapan

Surely you're joking?! Three spoons...?! Just let her use her fingers; that's easier and better for her too.

My DD2 refused to be fed by anyone from around 12 months. Everything she ate was put into her mouth herself. She really hated wet mushy food so I gave her things like cooked veg, fruit, bread, pasta, cereal etc and let her crack on. She seemed to survive and is now a tall, strapping 24 year old!

Mine refused very early to be spoon fed. He’s just turned 2 and is now very good at eating as had since 8/9 months old to practice

breakfast
porridge and a banana ( he likes to peel and cut banana with toddler knife himself)

lunch
bread/ cheese/ raw veg/ fruit

dinner
Anything. But typical dinner would be something like roast veg and tomato pasta, with fruit and yogurt afterwards

get long sleeves bibs

@Flittingaboutagain in most cases she won't eat with her hands unless it's sth dry like a piece of cookie, will demand the spoon (spoon is our favorite toy these days). I guess she just got used to being fed with spoon at home and at nursery, so doesn't have much desire to eat with hands. Probably. Who knows.

The other thing you can do is give her a spoon and then you have one too so while she's playing with the food you can get a spoonful in IF she'll let you .

Thank you everyone it seems I need to try her with lots of different things, I’m definitely to blame cause I won’t try her with things I don’t think she’ll eat. I know stupid but I think what point in stressing us both out when I know she won’t touch it.

I’ve been putting food in front of her for last 5 days and she hasn’t eaten much of anything if I’m honest but there isn’t much I can do about it 🤷‍♀️😥

That is how they learn though, she'll have a very restrictive diet if you don't let her try.

Yes your right! It’s awful been a first time mum I just don’t know what to do for best

Toddler appetites vary day to day. They know if they're full and how much they should eat.

When my baby would feed herself I'd quickly and sneakily shove a spoonful in when she was opening her mouth to try and put food in herself. I'd sort of distract her while I was doing it. It worked she didn't notice every time.

What did that accomplish?

Don't panic. If you haven't let her try things herself then she's going to (potentially) regress and do what mine was doing at 6-8 months at the start of baby led weaning as she hasn't gone through the developmental phases of self feeding. Playing with it with her fingers, occasionally putting it to her mouth, sometimes eating, lots of spitting it out and learning how to use her gag reflex is all normal and she'll slowly start eating over the next few weeks and months. She needs lots of time to play with different textures with NO pressure to eat it.

its so good to have other people input on this as there are things I wouldn’t go even thought about like regression! My mind set is give her foods I know she will eat so I’m satisfied with how much she’s eaten.

I’ve taken the whole feeding process really bad, I need to start again and realise she’s doing what she needs to do.

That's a great perspective.

Let her lead her food consumption - there's a little saying "its the parents responsibility to provide the food, the child's responsibility to eat it"

Top 'tips' I've learned in my years:

• Provide a good varied diet (including treats) all presented as 'food' not treats/rewards/bribes (e.g. "if you eat X, you can have cake")
• Let her tell you when she's full, and take the food away (no cajoling into "just one more bit of xxx"
• Give her new foods to try alongside all the known 'safe' foods.
• Accept her appetite will vary from day to day (just as ours does) - look at her food intake over a week, not just a meal or a day.
• When they're ill/brewing something, they might reject all food but things like milk etc. Give it to them.
• Don't 'believe' them when at around 2-3 they say they "don't like X" just say "OK, maybe you don't fancy that today, I'll put it here just in case you change your mind" and put it on their plate anyway and don't fret if they don't eat it.

This way you'll be setting her up for good habits for life - making good choices as all food is just as appealing others i.e. not seeing sweets/cakes as the ultimate reward, listening to her appetite etc :)