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Original poster

Fed up of my appearance

40 replies

user1494665637 · 31/05/2022 20:06

I have recently posted onto Mumsnet forum regarding pregnancy but I think it was the wrong forum 🤦 When I was younger I used to get bullied a lot for how I looked and this went into employment too. I'm a girl and people used to mistake me for a man by calling me sir or mate or a child actually asked if I was a boy or girl. This has really affected me and sometimes I can forget it and other times something triggers it like a shopkeeper calling me sir again. I am absolutely fed up of feeling like this. I can't afford plastic surgery to change myself so I guess it's something I'll have to live with. I'm just so upset all the time. I'll post a few pics but I do t bother wearing make up anymore or doing my hair, I don't see the point. One of the pictures was on a walk when two girls said "it's a man".😭

Fed up of my appearance
Fed up of my appearance
Fed up of my appearance
OP posts:
WhatIsThisPlease · 31/05/2022 20:10

I think you look lovely OP. And you have a beautiful smile.

Nothing remotely man like!!!!

Looloohoohoo · 31/05/2022 20:13

it boggles my mind how anyone can mistake you for a man at all!!!!
you have very beautiful feminine features and you look very natural.
you have such a lovely smile!
it hurts when people make comments and I for one have comments from years ago running through my head on a daily basis. It feels like utter torture so I completely understand how you feel.
Have you tried counselling or CBT at all? I would highly recommend it and hopefully it will help you see how beautiful you are.
maybe spend some money treating yourself on getting your make up professionally done, nails done, buy a new dress. Something overly feminine.

it amazes me in this day and age how people can still be so cruel.

don’t let it get you down please because I can assure you, all those comments that have been made are so so very wrong!

Original poster
user1494665637 · 31/05/2022 20:17

Thank you for your kind words x

OP posts:
UnsuitableHat · 31/05/2022 20:18

You don’t look anything like a man on those pics, and certainly don’t need plastic surgery to change yourself.

Original poster
user1494665637 · 31/05/2022 20:18

That's so kind of you to say. I just don't have the energy anymore to even try look feminine. It is so hard isn't it when we have previous comments running through our head. It feels isolating and lonely doesn't it?! X

OP posts:
Original poster
user1494665637 · 31/05/2022 20:20

Thank you, it was on one of those pics that I was mistaken for a man again by two girls. I've just had enough of feeling so low about my appearance.

OP posts:
Imtoooldforallthis · 31/05/2022 20:21

Wow, you are beautiful, how anyone in there right mind could think you are a man is unbelievable. However it is not about what we think, it's about what you think so please look after yourself and get any help you need to see what we are all seeing.

Shunter350 · 31/05/2022 20:22

Jeez. You're definitely a woman. And definitely out my league!
Seriously..

Mushroomlady · 31/05/2022 20:25

Err. I don't get it. You don't look even remotely man like? I could understand if you had a few masculine features but you don't? Are you sure they really said that. What aspect of your appearance do you think they were referring to? Do you have a manly voice or something because there's nothing in your appearance that screams man to me. Unless you are 6ft tall and have hairy manly legs on display or something?

Irisbouquet · 31/05/2022 20:25

I wish you could see what we can all see. You're so pretty, very feminine and gorgeous hair.

Sorry if this sounds blunt and I mean it with absolute kindness, please see your GP about counselling or go private, you aren't seeing what everyone else sees at all. Please get some help, you deserve happiness.

limitededitionbarbie · 31/05/2022 20:26

Op you are beautiful. I'd love to look like you. You are really really lovely.

ScarlettDarling · 31/05/2022 20:26

Are you serious? That multiple people have repeatedly mistaken you for a man? That is so unbelievable that I’m a bit worried that you are actually posting someone else’s photos as a prank. I’m not troll hunting, just can’t see how anyone would think the person on those pics looks manly in any way, shape or form and it’s not very common to post face pics on here.
Anyway, the person on those photos is quite clearly a woman, very feminine and not at all manly.

R0tational · 31/05/2022 20:27

I'm so confused. You are a beautiful woman with a really lovely smile. Enjoy your life!

limitededitionbarbie · 31/05/2022 20:28

You look nothing like a man. You look very naturally beautiful. Wholesome and just well lovely.

limitededitionbarbie · 31/05/2022 20:29

Cannot believe you are not wearing make up. You skin is gorgeous

sthonore · 31/05/2022 20:30

You look lovely and nothing like a man. I was bullied about the way I looked and absorbed all those nasty comments as reality. I just assumed they were right and I was hideous, far outside of what was normal. It’s only the last few years that I realise I just look pretty normal. Bullies will bully about anything and for young girls looks is an easy button to push. Also kids say all sorts of unintentionally offensive stuff, mine definitely do!

limitededitionbarbie · 31/05/2022 20:31

Op you look like a poster girl for healthy living. You look amazing. I hope you feel better about yourself soon as you honestly look great.

Veryverycalmnow · 31/05/2022 20:34

Definitely pretty and feminine looking and not at all manly! It's horrid when others say something rude without thinking about the impact.

FuckingNoise · 31/05/2022 20:37

Erm... I don't get this? You are very obviously a woman and a pretty one at that. Your teeth are lovely! There is literally nothing wrong with you x

Original poster
user1494665637 · 31/05/2022 20:43

Thank you, you are all very very kind but I don't see it, especially the last picture where I've had no sleep for a week (6 month old) and feeling like rubbish. It's exhausting feeling like this. One receptionist at our local drs was talking about my little girl. Another receptionist then came in and said "what do you mean (insert my little girl's name) The first receptionist then said "it's the little girl" and the other one said "oh, I was going to say.." It's just things like that.

OP posts:
sonsmum · 31/05/2022 20:51

I can't understand how anyone says anything negative either. You look very feminine and delicate to me. Your hair is gorgeous and you have clear skin and a lovely smile. Stand tall and be proud!

JenniferPlantain · 31/05/2022 20:57

Wtf? You’re absolutely beautiful!!

And I’m an utter bitch in rl so I promise I’m not saying that to be kind. You’re really naturally pretty.

People say all kinds of shit for attention/to be ‘funny’. You have to remember the nice stuff too, not the mean things.

Looloohoohoo · 31/05/2022 21:08

the receptionist could have thought that the other one was talking to her. Maybe your daughters name has the same name as someone they know, the thoughts and context behind that situation seems that there is more reasonable explanations.

maybe the way you feel is possible causing you to read social situations differently, like when larger people go to the gym, they may feel like people look at them but majority of the time it’s their inner views that make it seem like that.

speak to a doctor about therapy because it must be so horrible to feel the way you do.

hope you find some inner love whatever you choose to do ❤️❤️

whatsnewpussycat34 · 31/05/2022 21:13

Aww! I think you look lovely! Beautiful teeth, plump lips and skin and your hair is gorgeous!!

I think we're all a bit guilty of neglecting ourselves sometimes. I look like a thumb most days and never do my hair but what I found can make a whole lot of difference, especially if you don't feel you have a feminine face ( which you absolutely do) is eyebrows. Eyebrows are a game changer.

A good shape and tint can really change your eyes and that's where people are drawn to.

Minimalme · 31/05/2022 21:16

There is no way any one could think you are a man op.

What this suggests to me is that you have such a strong belief you look like a man, that you are misinterpreting/mishearing things.

For example, during points in my life I have thought I was completely unlikable. And during those times, many people have said unkind things to me/about me. Or I have interpreted them as unkind because they reinforce my self belief.

Is it possible you have PND? Please talk to your GP, you don't have to suffer like this.