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Original poster

SN child can't do this anymore

33 replies

Cantthinkofausername1 · 21/05/2022 23:12

I have a child with asd/adhd/pda. I don't understand anything he does and each day is unspeakable. I want to end it all but i can't leave my younger child and my husband to deal with it all alone. I can't do this anymore. I just can't. I don't have a plan and I won't act on it but I feel so alone. Whats the point in all of this?

OP posts:
Jas5mum · 22/05/2022 13:13

Hi OP
I feel the same today.
My son is 7 and as yet hasn't been diagnosed with anything. He's just tipped a whole big box of lego down the stairs then made slime out of all the toiletries which they then tipped on my when I got in the bathroom.
I'm in my room in tears, OH had to come back from work to sort it out. He says he's quit but I don't know if thats true. He's been crying which he hasn't done in 9years.
We've had social workers, 2 assessments, 2-3 different family workers and functional family therapy which ends tomorrow. They've said he is fine and there's nothing they can do. We're broken. I don't know what to do anymore.
Not much advice there just my experience and current situation. No answers just empathy. I hope you feel better today x

LK1972 · 22/05/2022 13:16

I'm so sorry you feel like that, I was there , with suicidal and unmanageable teen for several years. There is support out there, but difficult to access, especially if you're completely broken by the every day horror of it all. Does your husband know how you feel? Can you share it with him, or any other friends? It does help a little, and perhaps they can help looking for support? You need help from others, they won't offer help if they're not aware just how desperate you are.
We were extremely lucky that a psychiatrist listened and we eventually got a year-long therapy, which helped enormously, we have a tricky but wonderful young adult now and I don't want to die every day!

Fundays12 · 22/05/2022 13:19

Hi OP my eldest has ASD and ADHD both diagnosed. I think he also has PDA but they don't diagnose that in my LA. Omg it's exhausting mentally, physically and emotionally. I am totally burnt out as is DH. The constant meltdowns and abuse is just relentless. I do however get 3 hours a week respite arranged by the social work disability team and he gets help in school. Are in Scotland or England? Please contact your social work disability team and ask for help. Disability workers know how difficult life is for parents whose children have significant needs and try to help. Unfortunately you may need to shout louder than some yo get the help but please ask your child's school for help too.

LK1972 · 22/05/2022 13:20

Jas5mum · 22/05/2022 13:13

Hi OP
I feel the same today.
My son is 7 and as yet hasn't been diagnosed with anything. He's just tipped a whole big box of lego down the stairs then made slime out of all the toiletries which they then tipped on my when I got in the bathroom.
I'm in my room in tears, OH had to come back from work to sort it out. He says he's quit but I don't know if thats true. He's been crying which he hasn't done in 9years.
We've had social workers, 2 assessments, 2-3 different family workers and functional family therapy which ends tomorrow. They've said he is fine and there's nothing they can do. We're broken. I don't know what to do anymore.
Not much advice there just my experience and current situation. No answers just empathy. I hope you feel better today x

Flowers
stargirl1701 · 22/05/2022 13:56

It's the same here, OP. I have no advice. Years of survival mode are just intolerable.

mistermagpie · 22/05/2022 15:26

Jas5mum · 22/05/2022 13:13

Hi OP
I feel the same today.
My son is 7 and as yet hasn't been diagnosed with anything. He's just tipped a whole big box of lego down the stairs then made slime out of all the toiletries which they then tipped on my when I got in the bathroom.
I'm in my room in tears, OH had to come back from work to sort it out. He says he's quit but I don't know if thats true. He's been crying which he hasn't done in 9years.
We've had social workers, 2 assessments, 2-3 different family workers and functional family therapy which ends tomorrow. They've said he is fine and there's nothing they can do. We're broken. I don't know what to do anymore.
Not much advice there just my experience and current situation. No answers just empathy. I hope you feel better today x

I'm with you. My son is nearly 7, he's not quite as destructive as yours but he's aggressive and violent. Every practitioner says he's 'fine'. He's not fine and neither am I, but we are at a loss.

AReallyUsefulEngine · 22/05/2022 15:40

mistermagpie Jas5mum do your DC have EHCPs? Therapies can be included in there. And if you appeal the educational provision you can also ask social care provision is looked at.

They've said he is fine and there's nothing they can do.

Push social care to provide more as this isn’t true. You can get more support as school too.

jellymaker · 26/05/2022 23:07

How are you doing OP?

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