I did a stupid thing and I hate myself for it

[prammistake]

This morning I went off with my 6mo for a walk in the pram. Got out the door with the pram, put the brake on, turned round to lock the door. Took my hands off the pram obviously, and a man across the street begins shouting frantically - I turn round and the pram is rolling away down the drive. I grabbed it, I think all the adrenaline has clouded my memory because I don't even know how far away it got. I didn't have to run or anything to get it, I don't think I even needed to reach that far. I'm not sure.

Obviously I didn't click the brake in properly but I should have made sure it was properly in. I keep thinking that if that man wasn't there then something very dreadful could have happened. I feel terrible, to be honest I was already having a fairly low week mental health wise mostly because most of my life has gone a little wrong and I just don't like myself. I don't think I'm a very good person, but I felt that I was a good mother and that was what I had in my life and that was all I really needed. But now I don't think I can be a good mother if I nearly let something dreadful happen to my baby. The man on the street took better care of my baby than I could. I feel like my beautiful precious baby has been played some sort of cruel trick on by god by being given me as a mother.

Currently sat in a quiet park with baby in the pram sleeping whilst I have a cry. I don't even know why I'm posting to be honest, I just wanted to tell someone because I just can't tell anyone I know. I don't know if I'm secretly hoping everyone will tell me how stupid I was today to punish myself. I just don't know what to do to ever feel better about this again just got to stop crying before baby wakes up as I don't like him to see me sad in case he gets scared

I remember pulling up at my mum's and realising my 3 month old hadn't been strapped into her carseat.

'Welcome to being a parent!' she said.

There isn't one parent who hasn't done something like this. Gosh, I have so many examples of my own. Human beings literally cannot exert 100%, water-tight, foolproof, 24/7 vigilance. To many variables: tiredness, distraction, momentary poor judgement...on it goes!

'By the grace of God, go I', and so does every other parent on the planet.

I had a similar experience and understand that awful guilt, but please listen to op's, you really shouldn't be so hard on yourself. I was coming out of an old building after taking my newborn for a health visitor check , and my toddler got to the heavy front door before me and just ran out, into the walled car park and heading towards the busy main road. I struggled to get the pram through the door and then had to abandon the pram to chase after my toddler whilst screaming for him to stop. I got to him literally inches before the road. All the staff came running out I was screaming so loud. It was 13 years ago and I get chills and a deep , sick feeling whenever I think about it

4 months, threw up in the car as she gets sick rear facing, I should've just turned her round sooner but everyone was so insistent that rear facing is safer so that's what we all did.

Anyway, she threw up and choked, I couldn't pull over as was on a section of motorway with no hard shoulder but luckily her brother (7) was sat next to her, realised she was choking and got her unstrapped and across his lap and had already cleared her airway before I was able to stop.

I felt like world's worst auntie. She has faced forwards ever since.

Her sister got dropped by her mum at 10 month but I caught her by the ankle on the way down and then a few weeks later climbed up the back of the sofa and fell off while I was in the toilet.