Just been given Anti depressents and having councelling. anyone with experience listen to my waffling?!!

[anniebear]

Wont go into details but haven't quite been the same since my DD now 6 was very ill with Meningitis at the age of 8 months

finally plucked up the courage and took a list to the doctor with me! have been given a prescription for Anti D and also am going to have counselling via the Meningitis Trust

I haven't told anyone yet (was only yesterday!!) , haven't told anyone. I don't think I'm ashamed , I don't know why I don't feel like telling anyone

I came away really upset and tearful from the Docs. I couldn't even tell her , I had to write it all down and take my list with me! about how I feel and I'm still not coping after all this time.

Loads of things in my list, that only me and the Doc know lol

Felt relief I suppose at finally telling some one and even better that she doesn't think I'm a Looney! In fact she thinks I am a very strong person

I don't know why I am so upset. More about the Anti Depressants I suppose

I think I am a bit scared to take them

what if they don't make a difference? what if I have side effects? terrified after reading about them

I suppose slightly, I feel like I've given up? that's it, I cant cope anymore, so its medication. Suppose I may feel a bit of a failure, cant cope bringing up two children

Maybe people will think less of me as I'm on medication? Not less, but maybe think I must be a bit strange (me?....never!!!!! lol) or have problems in my head (I have lol)

I think I am worried that if it takes things away, and I become a bit like the old me before Kids!!! who is that person?

I have been a screaming, shouting, crying and irrational worrying person since after DD was ill, think I am bit scared of who that person is I used to be

sounds mad I bet!!!

sorry, just needed to let it out. thanks for listening

well done for plucking up the courage to get the help you need.
I think that as you tell people you will quickly be surprised how many others you know have been in the same boat, this is what I found when I started telling people about my problems.
Take it easy and the very best of luck and I know there will be loads of people on here to offer you some better support and words of wisdome than me

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Hi well done for seeking help. The more people you tell the more support you will receive and the more you will be able to cope. Hope the old you comes back and you feel better soon. Dont be ashamed of taking the ad's it doesnt mean that you cant cope, thats not what they do, they rebalance the chamicals in your brain that make you feel like this. It is nothing to do with you not being able to cope etc. Your brain needs certain chemicals to keep you in an even state of mind and when these chemicals get muddled up thats what makes you feel like this. By taking the tablets you are rebalancing the chemicals which help you feel better. You will feel better soon. Take care xxxx

You are worried about all sorts of things that haven't happened and may never happen! Take the ADs and see how it goes. Your doc will keep a close eye on you for the first bit and monitor any side effects. The newer ADs are much much better than the older ones and you may not notice anything, apart from feeling better. It is certainly not a sign of weakness to take tablets. It may help with the councelling as well.

I hope you start feeling better soon. I may have to go back on anti ds too, like you, reluctantly.

thanks for that

I made the mistake of reading a few things! and people said about the side effects

should have learnt by now not to read too much!

One thing it says is they may make me drowsy, so make sure ok to drive

worrying me a bit as I need to drive!! was maybe going to start taking them Saturday morning and see if I am ok over the weekend, when DH is here to drive

have just seen the huge thread about the anti d I have been given

not sure if to read or not lol

I have been given 20mg Citalopram

is that a small dose? average? big?!!!

thanks

If you have a read of your patient information leaflet, it should tell you the dosage information. Your doc will not start you on a massive dose! If you are not responding to a regular dose, it may be increased.
There's no point in frightening yourself about things that haven't happened. You won't know how you respond to the tablets until you start taking them. Your doctor would not prescribe something if they didn't think it would have an effect.

You won't know if it affects your driving until you start taking the pills. Do you want to spend more time wondering if you are ever going to feel any better, or are you going to take a chance?

Hi Annie, just breifly read your post as DD is "helping". There are few things i would like to pick up on.

Firstly, DO read the ciatlopram buddies thread. Secondly, throw the bit of paper that comes in the box away, you'll scare yourself.

There ARE side effects, however they usually disappear in the first few weeks, for me, they lasted two days. You are likely to feel a bit sick and spacey and a bit not with it for a while, but it does wear off. You can, and alot of posters did experience this, feel a bit worse to start off with, just as your body adjusts to the change i suppose. The side effects were nothing compared to how bad i felt before.

I felt totally the same as you when the doctor suggested ADs, firstly i was relieved, but i declined them and said i would think about it, spent a week feeling like shit, thinking, oh thats it, im depressed. Then something happened and i went to the doctors and said, yes please can i have them. Didn't pick up the prescription for a week, left them in a drawer for a week. Now i am so glad i finally took them. The side effects werent nearly as bad as i expected, just slight nausea a bit like when i was on the pill for a few days.

There is little wonder you have battled since your DD was ill, how terrifying for you - that was bound to make you anxious. The good news is that citalopram is good for anxiety.

Sorry, i cant remember if you have a partner? I really think you should tell him if you can bring yourself to do so, it will really help him understand anything that has been going on.

20mg is the dose that most people start on, some on 10mg, but that tends to be just for anxiety. I started on 20mg and now take 40mg, which i have read, is considered the best therapeutic dose.

Please dont feel like a failure, its not that you cant cope, its just that you are not well - would you feel like a failure if you had diabetes? Be kind to yourself, i imagine you dont get much time for you, maybe now you need to take some.

Do keep posting/ranting/talking on here, it has been a lifeline to me.

Thank you very much, thats very kind of you

Have a Husband whos great, he knows Im going to have counselling and have got a prescription for AD and is supportive

I think my problem is , is that I dont feel crap all the time! Its more just I cant cope with things very well, I am screaming at the kids so easily, go over my DD being ill etc and then feeling down, but this isnt daily and I can have lots of times I feel fine, have a nice day shopping with my sister etc

But I know overall Im not

the worst thing is the worrying and having horrible irrational worries, that does happen daily. I can see a car and be thinking, what if that hit us...what if....and then go through all what could happen in my head

and the worry of dying or having cancer

I am going to take the AD, I have to give it a try

I suppose its inevitable I am going to worry about the side effects if I worry about everything else lol

Thanks again

you will be fine when i get really down i come on here its better than my counciller just come off 40mg citropram ,you wii be finexx

Thanks Hazygirl

Ive put it all off for so long , suppose 5 years really , but I know I need to do something as it is not fair on my children or Husband

sometimes I feel as though I dont even love him and everything he does annoys me! I do love him, lots and we are close, even after the stress and upset of the last 5 years

He has put up with a lot from me

The DR told me to tell him that the girl he married is still in me !

Lol, bet I will be hard to find

it took me a while to go afte death of my grandson glad i did go xx

Thanks Fio

I nearly posted this in the SN section, wasnt sure if to or not

One of the worst things is, I was just starting to get somewhere then in July 06, DD was , out of the blue, very ill

I can still hear the ambulance now, thinking we had lost her, being ventilated and rushed to Alder Hey

How do you get over these things? Its my Daughter I have ahd to watch going through all this? I feel so sorry for her (although shes happy!)feel sorry for me and also for us as a family

sorry, I am really waffling today

the counselling should come through pretty quick (NHS was 5 months wait ) But this will be through The Meningits Trust (all free thank goodness) and the counsellor has experience in this area which is good

thanks for listening, sorry!

thanks

Yes, its hard as the problems are there daily

try and plod along and have DD to deal with

Just don't see any light at the end of the tunnel

It's horrible how irrational thoughts can eat into ones life. The tablets may help put a lid on that, but the councelling will probably be more useful in the long run.

I think things DO get better, but professional help can provide a turning point. We really can't do everything on our own!

Well done for making a start.

there is light at end of tunnel days were solong it can b a living hell i remember at first if i ever slept i used to wake up and think it was a bad dream i hated that part and no sleep was horrendous and i had my dd to look after and her kids so carried on as long as i could lost several mates who thought i was a miserable cow,yo have done so well you crossed another hurdlex

annie, irrational fears, especially of dying and cancer were what was taking over my life. Once a thought cropped up, it completely crippled me. The citalopram have made a real difference with that side of things, so it does sound like you will benefit from them.

Good luck x

Thank you for all the support

Just one more thing (well maybe for today lol)

I know the counselling will help, but what about when that stops and the meds finish?

the reasons why I have these problems are with me daily, they do improve at times, but it is really hard

I cant change these things and know I need to learn to accept them and learn to live as 'normally' as I possibly can with them

thanks again

The councelling will be geared towards YOUR needs and it won't stop all of a sudden! You won't be left in the lurch, don't worry!

People come off tablets in their own time. You may find a short course of about 4 months does the trick, or you may be taking tablets for years.

When I was originally prescribed antidepressants, I took them for years. I was on Prozac for about 8 years. It's now 10 years since I have taken Prozac, but I have had a few times taking other anti ds (that go better with pg/bf etc).

I'm now hopefully at a point when I can recognise when things are going really belly-up and I need medication. Sometimes talking can do the trick, sometimes something a bit stronger keeps the boat afloat.

Please try not to worry about it. You are doing all the right things. When do you start the tablets? I may be given some tomorrow. Prob Sertraline.

I have a prescription but havent been to the chemist yet!!

Thank you