Just been given Anti depressents and having councelling. anyone with experience listen to my waffling?!!

[anniebear]

Wont go into details but haven't quite been the same since my DD now 6 was very ill with Meningitis at the age of 8 months

finally plucked up the courage and took a list to the doctor with me! have been given a prescription for Anti D and also am going to have counselling via the Meningitis Trust

I haven't told anyone yet (was only yesterday!!) , haven't told anyone. I don't think I'm ashamed , I don't know why I don't feel like telling anyone

I came away really upset and tearful from the Docs. I couldn't even tell her , I had to write it all down and take my list with me! about how I feel and I'm still not coping after all this time.

Loads of things in my list, that only me and the Doc know lol

Felt relief I suppose at finally telling some one and even better that she doesn't think I'm a Looney! In fact she thinks I am a very strong person

I don't know why I am so upset. More about the Anti Depressants I suppose

I think I am a bit scared to take them

what if they don't make a difference? what if I have side effects? terrified after reading about them

I suppose slightly, I feel like I've given up? that's it, I cant cope anymore, so its medication. Suppose I may feel a bit of a failure, cant cope bringing up two children

Maybe people will think less of me as I'm on medication? Not less, but maybe think I must be a bit strange (me?....never!!!!! lol) or have problems in my head (I have lol)

I think I am worried that if it takes things away, and I become a bit like the old me before Kids!!! who is that person?

I have been a screaming, shouting, crying and irrational worrying person since after DD was ill, think I am bit scared of who that person is I used to be

sounds mad I bet!!!

sorry, just needed to let it out. thanks for listening

Taking ads for the first time does seem scarey but they can really help some people - they do me. (You would be amazed how many people are taking them but maybe don't like to talk about it) If you've fallen down, way down the pills will help lift you up again so you can start to see you way out and forward again. It does sound like a bit of delayed shock. You went through hell. Maybe by your mind replaying it over and over it's its way of making sense of it all and trying to recover itself from the trauma. The pills can help you find your strength again.
I think you are doing the right thing xxxx

annie, i was pleased to see that you took a look at the citalopram buddies thread. I think it is getting a bit old now, maybe someone should start a fresh 2008 thread. I have made a decision to give mnet a miss for a while. I am spending far to much time here and i just dont realise that i can sit here for what feels like half an hour and two hous have gone by, then i feel shitty about it. I am going to turn my computor off and try not to switch it back on for a week. Just to see. Of course i am already breaking my resolve but i didnt want to just fall off of this thread and you think i was not thinking about you.

You have the prescription, now all you need to do is get the pills, then leave them in the drawer for a week ;). One of the things i felt really useful to me before i started was to talk about possible side effects with my partner, i just asked him to keep an eye on me and make sure i wasnt being weird, Well any weirder than usual. I think there was some weirdness, but it was all good. (i couldnt stop myself from dancing around if i heard music, even in M&S!) That just made me feel more in control. Nothing untoward happened, as i said, just a bit of nausea day one and two, then it was fine.

Good luck, i hope you exorcise your demons and get back to enjoying your family as you so deserve to do so.

Take care
LEM
x

PS:Hellobello, i hope you start to feel better soon. There has been no activity on your thread for a bit and i cant find it, so just wanted to pass on my best wishes while i take my Mnet break.

Im just hoping i can stick to it.

Thank you

to be honest I ahve been in shock since it happened lol, just shud have done something there and then

Have the tablets now, probably take in the morning

I am still scared though!

I am sure it is mainly because I feel fine at the mo! I have just had a nice few days out with my sister, yes, had tears at home for no reason, yelled at the kids irrationally and had some horrible thoughts and worries along the way! But nothing major

so they I kind of think do I really need them

Obviously I will then have times were the worries are greater, and Im worse with the kids etc and am crying more

Just really worried about the side effects. If It wasnt for them I would have popped one by now lol, cant do any harm!

But I suffer from lack of sleep already (have done since my DD was ill the 1st time, she hasnt slept through since) I cant lose anymore! sleep and I cant be 'spaced out' either!

thanks again to you all for listening to my irrational waffling!

Thanks so much, it has really helped