So for context I'm a single mum who found out she was pregnant in her first year of university. Took a year out to move back home and have my son and then continued and managed to graduate despite pandemic. My little ones biological dad isn't involved but pays child maintenance now.
So I look after my three year old, autistic, son on my own. But at the moment I can't really work full time as have to look after him and he only goes nursery 15 hours a week. I'm on Universal credit and his only just manages to pay my monthly bills. This means the only money we have is from child maintenance and money I get from my part time job, which isn't a lot as new laws means 64% of my wage gets taken off UC meaning I essentially work for £3 an hour.
With the cost of gas and electric going up, UC isn't going to be covering bills well and if little ones biological dad decides to go pilot school (which he said he would as he has been saving up for and isn't bothered about us struggling) we won't have much money for food. If I lose my job we won't have any money for food. I feel like even though I'm in the best mental state of my life, if I killed myself and my little one went to my sister or dad and his wife, at least they could pay for the things he needs without going food banks etc. I know people want to say its best if he has his mum, but what if it isn't? I genuinely think the better case scenario if for him to be raised in a situation where he has what he needs and is fed and warm. I'm not going to be able to afford it and think I need to think about what is best for his future. It's too expensive for me to be able to live.