Feel weak for posting but so stressed...

[chattycaterpillar]

I'm 11 weeks pregnant and had covid when I was approx. 8 weeks.

I was actually asymptomatic but tested positive for the whole ten days, ( def. covid as I had a positive PCR for work). I'm now so worried that although I was asymptomatic , the covid will have damaged the pregnancy at crucial developmental stages.

I have my 12 week scan on Monday, and am terrified as I don't really feel many pregnancy symptoms anymore, ( e.g. breasts have no longer felt sore/ large for the past couple of days).

I'm terrified something's going to go wrong at the scan, either MMC or baby diagnosed with a condition incompatible with life, ( e.g. Patau syndrome).

I fell so behind with work when I had to self-isolate, ( various IT and system issues made it pretty much impossible to work from home), I've been so stressed I basically did less than the bare minimum on my return to work last week and I have a scheduled 1-2-1 with my manager tomorrow, ( we have them every 6 weeks). He's already told me by email he's "concerned about my uncharacteristic lack of response to emails last week from him", so I'm dreading the 1-2-1. He knows I'm pregnant and I 'm worried he's just going to think "pregnant and taking the piss."

We moved into a new flat approx. 3 months ago, all was fine with the boiler on moving in, however approx. six weeks after moving in the boiler broke completely. It cost over 2500 grand to replace, it has mucked up my finances just after moving and now I'm dealing with credit card debt etc, ( I already had some credit card debt before the boiler but it was manageable). I know I need to contact the credit card company and arrange a payment break , but just feel too stressed , even though I'm getting letters/ emails.

My phone is basically breaking but due to the boiler basically breaking my finances I can't afford to replace it till Tuesday, (payday), but I'm basically running out of battery five minutes into calls with friends so it's hard to call family/ friends for support.
My mum came to visit at the weekend, and all I got was constant comparison to my younger sister who had a baby last year, ( she is the golden child).
Constant comments e.g. " I hope you'll be taking the baby to paid for baby classes like your sister, I j don't want you going to the free classes and just mixing with roughs and chavs."
"I don't like those paint marks on the wall, I hope your redecorate the flat like your sister did before her baby was born."
"I really hope your not going to choose Tyler as the baby name, I'm going to be so embarrassed shouting a chav baby in the park, couldn't you have picked a nice name like your sister."
"I'm sorry it looks like a bit of a concrete jungle where you live and I don't like the playground outside your flat, shame, your sister has such a nice park in her road."

I'm also waiting for the bank to send me a new bank card, last one got lost, seems to have been lost in the post, ( they have agreed to cancel and send a new one out), but I'm constantly having to go to the bank with my passport to take cash out whilst I wait ( again !) for a new one to be sent out.
My partner is getting irritated with me, his friend came round the other evening and his friend made a lot of comments about being a sh!t housewife as the kitchen was untidy, ( it was untidy as I'd spent the evening cooking a two course meal for them). But yeah , his friend compared me to other women we know socially and said I had a lot to learn from them and what a shit housewife I'd be, ( although I'm not a housewife, I'm working full time).

I've also had an issue where I've had a very, very high needs friend stay for a ridiculously long stay, ( whole other thread, but involved her spending the stay talking about how people she'd fallen out with should burn in hell).
My partner's just getting irritated with me anyway especially as the stress has prevented me from doing normal housework tasks like laundry, cleaning the kitchen etc.
It all sounds so silly compared to what some people go through, but am just struggling to cope with it all.

But yes, I just want to stop this constant, unbearable anxious feeling all the time.

I'm glad the scan went well for you op and good luck with test results to come. I also hope you get the mh support you need.

I'm so sorry your dp is constantly nagging you , which seems incredibly immature of him. Can you tell him you don't need this stress right now and that you could do with a bit of support?

Sorry this is such an anxious time for you. Try and take each day as it comes, put good boundaries in place for the sake of you and your bump, and get plenty of rest.

Thanks @Thasheblows88.

I've spoken to my partner and explained the constant, ( and I mean constant), nagging about the travel plans for my nephew's naming ceremony are making me feel ill. He's agreed to stop, and we've come to an agreement that he will drive down in the morning, I will go to my friend's , ( pre-arranged for months before the naming ceremony), 30th birthday lunch and I will then get the train up after. It'll be about a 4 hour train ride so not particularly looking forward to it, but trying to stay positive.

Managed to get a couple of case studies written up for work today, so hopefully my manager be pleased about that.

Still feeling anxious, but will revaluate if I need to speak to my GP after I get the nuchal blood results back.

I'm glad you spoke to your dp op, and I don't know the ins and outs of your travel plans, but it sounds like you are the one compromising again and not him! Do take care of yourself.

I've also brought some "pregnancy care," vitamins today, They are meant to have B12, Vit D and other bits in them, ( I was only taking folic acid previously). I have been feeling so tired, I'm hoping the vitamins might give me a little boost, as I think that is affecting my mental health as well.

But i'm definitely still feeling very anxious, shaky and panicky in the evenings. Hopefully once the pregcare vitamins kick in I'll feel more "me."

So I've hit a bit of a wall. Still feel very anxious and want to ask the GP for a Fluoxetine prescription, ( I was taking a low dose fluoxetine before conceiving), but feel I can't cos I don't want to get "red flagged," for extra monitoring from midwifery/ SS/ Health visitor cos I'm pregnant. I have a feeling GP passes this info on o midwifery !

OP I'm a children's social worker.
No one is going to be worried about you having a small amount of anti anxiety medication that is managed by your GP.

So after a few days of feeling okay, then eh.
I have a serious physical health condition that puts me at far higher risk of C-Section. Midwife has no advice on this/ what the likely outcome will be, and so I have to wait until 30th June for a consultant appointment, and that's causing anxiety.
I now feel constantly faint/ nauseous/ exhausted due to the pregnancy, and am so down by how exhausted I feel.
Today was a bad day, ( was retching and sick in the street on the way home from work due to pregnancy sickness), and just flipped at my boyfriend as he told me " I must be lying about it," ( he was irritated cos I said he had to cook his own dinner as I was worried the smell of food would set me off again). I ended up shouting, he started laughing and was like, "haha, I should film you shouting on my phone and upload it to youtube," ( obviously i wouldn't actually do that), and I have stormed into the spare room to sleep for the night. He now "doesn't know what he's said wrong," I just feel stressed and fed up.

Feel for you OP pregnancy is hard enough without all the other factors you've had at play. Look after yourself and take care of yourself. Focus on you and the baby and take each step as it comes. He's annoyed you tonight and stressed you out and you have done the right thing to remove yourself from that situation