If you’re depressed how ‘useful’ are you?

[ChristinaBlang]

So I have a condition which mean I suffer from depression on a regular basis. I spend about 6 months depressed, 6 months pulling myself out of it, get about a year healthy before the whole thing starts again.
My question is how much do depressed people manage to do. I am stay at home parent but at the moment I don’t get out of bed to take the dc to school. I do manage pick up as I feel better I’m the middle of the day. I do the running around to after school activities. Then as the evening wears on I go downhill again and don’t cook etc.
I spend about 90% of my day sat watching tv. The first few times I was depressed I put lots of energy into trying to do things like walking to help but experience shows me nothing helps.
So if you are in the pit of depression how much are you doing?

I have been depressed and I understand the need to do nothing.
However, I had a dog and had to take him out twice a day. Cocker spaniel, so staying in wasn’t an option.
Outside of his walks I sat on the sofa unable to do anything. But at least I got out into the fresh air and got some sunlight.

The more you stay in and don’t move, the worse you will feel. Our bodies are designed to move and mental health is impacted by inactivity.

If I stop I'll never start again, if I let the odd thing slide it will become a habit and eventually the norm. So that's why I never allow myself to stop, I'm constantly busy. I'm having a hard time at the moment and all that's stopping me from spiralling is my routine, keeping everything perfect and ticking along on the surface. Fake it until you make it, I guess.

Even though it's really hard, especially to get started, I find keeping busy helps. I manage at least the basics most days. I'm a SAHM too. I don't work. While DD is at school I tend to do some art and craft. It keeps me going. I keep socialising and interacting with people - I find that is particularly good at distracting me from my dark thoughts. I want to do some volunteering to get myself out of my head and helping others. I also want to start going for walks (it really helped last time I had depression) but I'm finding that very difficult to get going with. It's so, so hard, but I just keep forcing myself to do things even though I want to stay in bed forever. DD gives me purpose - I refuse to let my depression negatively affect her.

@Crabwoman

Life long sufferer of depression. When I'm really bad I still function as normal, working full time, childcare etc.

The main difference is that I am 100% detached. I go through the motions but there's nothing there. I don't laugh, smile, enjoy life. I stop being interested in anything (even stuff I am passionate about) and go to bed as soon as the kids go. I get flexi days which I will spend sleeping.

I do absolutely need the structure of work to stop it all unravelling, but it's still pretty bad.

I've come here tonight to look for some support of what I feel is depression with me.

This post describes me perfectly.

I feel so sad for my absolutely amazing husband & children for having to live with the sad robot I am. I think I need to seek proper help rather than functioning & brushing it under the carpet.

It comes to breaking point when I'm unwell like now as I just take to my bed & feel utterly useless - it's only a cold so massive dramatic response

I've been carrying on and now I am going to have to call in sick at work tomorrow.
I can do bits at home, but a chat with my Dr has just made me take stock. I do have a trauma inducing job but I am so disappointed that I feel like I can't go on when others can.
I know my anxiety and depression is because of my job role and I don't know what on earth I'll do if I can't get better. I had three weeks off at the end of last year so I am gutted and really worried.

@HotSauceCommittee

I've been carrying on and now I am going to have to call in sick at work tomorrow. I can do bits at home, but a chat with my Dr has just made me take stock. I do have a trauma inducing job but I am so disappointed that I feel like I can't go on when others can. I know my anxiety and depression is because of my job role and I don't know what on earth I'll do if I can't get better. I had three weeks off at the end of last year so I am gutted and really worried.

I'm sorry to hear that,

When things are bad, I can only do the bare minimum. Children to and from school, dog walked, food and my PT job. The rest of the time is spent in bed. I find TV 'too much'. I sleep or just rest.

I HAVE to do the minimum though. Having depression doesn't mean I get to abandon my responsibility to my children and the dog.

I think we need to rename depression as depressive spectrum disorder as there's a huge difference from mild to severe depression as is demonstrated on this thread.

People with mild or even moderate D can still work/ function.

That doesn't mean some people with severe D can.

People who are saying they work/ go out/ dog walk etc 'because they have to are actually being very disablist to people who have had debilitating severe depression.

I'd never get a dog for example because if I ever became severely depressed again I wouldn't be able to go out and the poor dog would end up Shi**ING all over the house. That's how bad severe depression can get.

When ever use struggled with depression I've never allowed myself to not look after my dc. My falling apart moments were after the school run and after they were in bed. Also went to work and made sure they had a roof and food etc. Can't imagine sitting on the sofa rather than look after the dc if I'm honest. Post natal, anti natal etc and still managed to put them first even after my ex left.

I think you can have severe depression but still manage to function.

A year ago I spent two weeks in bed, doing absolutely nothing, not eating... I ended up in hospital. I have little memory of that time - my partner filled me in. I am just about functioning now but I feel that my depression is just as severe, if not worse. From the outside I might seem a lot better but all day I am in emotional pain and wish I could die 🤷🏻‍♀️