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Mental health

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Original poster

Sister getting sectioned???

56 replies

EdaYildiz · 05/03/2022 23:34

To cut the longest story very short.. my sister is suffering from mental health issues - she is constantly angry, screaming at the walls and she thinks all my family member (aunts, uncles, cousins etc) have ruined her life and is screaming at "them" during an episode.

(When I say "them" I mean they are not actually there but they are who she is referring to)

My parents are elderly and will not voluntarily admit her for an assessment as requested many times by the EIS because they think she will be "kept in cage and drugged up" however I have receive an email that next week, her case worker will be attending our house with 2 x doctors and of course the police for a mental health act assessment - my parents don't know about this at all.

I am guilt ridden that I know and the burden of knowing is killing me - I was told as a heads up to decide if I wish to be present or not on the day but asked not to tell my parents as previously my dad has removed my sister from house during a scheduled appointment for an hospital admission.

I am scared my sister will be taken away and I'm scared my dad will cause a big fuss on the day, I'm worried my mum will be distressed (she will have an interpreter as English is not her first language). Im terrified and I just don't know what to do!!!

OP posts:

Mif4 · 05/03/2022 23:42

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

Original poster

EdaYildiz · 05/03/2022 23:45

@Mif4

I've been sectioned. It was the best thing that could have happened to me. Yes it will be awful because its an awful situation, but what's the alternative?

We are all at our wits end at home, listening to my sister constantly talk to herself and "argue" for almost 6 years is starting to affect my mental health too and so much do we are always arguing with each other and she doesn't realise what she is doing.

The is no alternative.

OP posts:

TellySavalashairbrush · 05/03/2022 23:50

What a sad situation for you all. However, I think that it would be better for both your sister and your parents if she were being looked after somewhere that she can receive the right medication and observation 24/7. If she doesn’t your parents and your sister could suffer even more. Thinking of you all.

OldTinHat · 06/03/2022 00:15

It sounds like this will be the best thing for her - and all of you. She'll get the help and medication she needs. Sending you all best wishes.

StaplesCorner · 06/03/2022 00:19

As soon as she is sectioned she is entitled to an Independent Mental Health Advocate - maybe start by finding out in advance who that would be and it may help your parents to know she would have this person to support her.

Ashara · 06/03/2022 00:29

Honestly, you need to let this happen and not tell your parents if you think they will stop it. My Dsis has struggled for her whole life, causing terrible pain to herself and everyone around her. She was most recently sectioned well before Christmas and is still in receiving treatment. The best thing for her and for the family - your sister needs help, please allow her to get it. Much love to you x

UpToMyElbowsInDiapers · 06/03/2022 00:34

My sister was sectioned during a mental health crisis in uni, and it was the best thing that could have happened for her. A giant wake-up call, and the beginning of access to the support she needed but had never before been open to. (And my parents were also very skeptical of the need for mental health support).

Now she’s graduated, she’s a lawyer, she has a wonderful boyfriend and close relationships with all our family…

Feel no guilt. None!

Original poster

EdaYildiz · 06/03/2022 09:00

Thank you all for sharing your personal experiences or those who have seen a loved on go through this. I know in my heart, this is what my sister needs and so I fully support it, just the knowing when nobody else does is eating up at me.

Would anybody know, if my dad refuses to let me sister go (if needed) can the police do anything about this?

OP posts:

Theunamedcat · 06/03/2022 09:02

You should not feel guilty your doing the right thing keeping it quiet you can't imagine the stress and struggle she is going through treatment should hopefully bring her peace

WhoWants2Know · 06/03/2022 09:14

@EdaYildiz

Would anybody know, if my dad refuses to let me sister go (if needed) can the police do anything about this?

Yes, they can. That's why they are there. But it's so much better for everyone if your parents and sister don't resist.

Robotdott · 06/03/2022 09:19

Ah a tricky situation, but absolutely the right thing to not tell them if you have concerns they will try and prevent the assessment happening. Yes if they deem that she needs to be sectioned they can have support from the police to restrain and transport her; sounds scary but they are trained in this and it really falls under cruel to be kind. As you say you can't all go on like this. My DB was sectioned and I felt really guilty for putting the cogs into motion, but he is now thriving. It's not like a prison either, we visited a few times a week (depends on the setting though of course) and he was out at the 6 month point I believe it was, although many are out at the 28 days.

Original poster

EdaYildiz · 06/03/2022 11:26

Her mental health has affected us all in different ways for year - for me it's made me angry with her and we fight all the time, my parents are unfortunately uneducated and came to England years ago which may explain why they won't agree to this - they are worried about what other people in the community will say/think.

My sister is deaf too which makes the situation a little more complicated maybe as she has been cocooned her whole life.

Whenever she is having an episode my parents will either take her for a walk, out shopping or buy her food (burgers, pizzas, chips) as a way to "quieten her down", Wednesday cannot come any sooner - I can hear her scream as I type this and I just want to scream myself, cry, shout and tell her to just SHUT UP, I don't know how much more I can take.

OP posts:

IAmSantaOhYesIAm · 06/03/2022 12:03

By keeping this secret you are helping her, although it’s obviously not doing your own mental health any good.
Can you try and keep busy? Go for a walk? Cook or bake? Visit a friend? Just to take your mind off of it for a little while.

BestInterests · 06/03/2022 12:10

I arranged for my dad to be sectioned last year and it has been really good for him. Even though his problem is progressive and won't resolve, he is still in a much better place mentally than he was this time last year.

It's hard, it's horrible but sometimes it's necessary. The staff have treated my dad with kindness and dignity.

It's not kind to leave someone with the issues that you describe. Sometimes acting in her best interests means doing something that she doesn't want, but needs...

BestInterests · 06/03/2022 12:16

And if you can find some way to just survive until Wednesday, then do whatever you need to do. Be kind to yourself cos this bit is absolutely shit. You're just trying to survive the next 4 days right now. Do whatever is easiest on you.

Your parents sound out of their depths to be honest.

Make sure you know what might happen. From what you say, I suspect she will be removed on a section 2 for assessment for up to 28 days. They can convert this into a section 3 at any point so she can receive treatment, and this is for up to 6 months.

She can go to a mental health tribunal to appeal this - we were told not to worry when my dad did this and sure enough, he didn't win his appeal.

DogsAndGin · 06/03/2022 12:38

Can you, or someone else in the family, remove your dad from the house? Arrange an outing for him? Ask him to help with a task/drive you somewhere/say your car needs an MOT and for him to drive with you?? No one needs to know that you know, and he doesn’t need to be there to interfere

StaplesCorner · 06/03/2022 13:42

It sounds like the IMHA will be crucial then OP

Whattodoniw · 06/03/2022 16:46

@UpToMyElbowsInDiapers

Now she’s graduated, she’s a lawyer, she has a wonderful boyfriend and close relationships with all our family…

Feel no guilt. None!

❤️

BlanketsBanned · 06/03/2022 16:53

Dont feel guilty, she needs help qnd your oarents cannot stop her being taken in hospital. If she signs then she will need a sign language interpreter there too.

Original poster

EdaYildiz · 07/03/2022 09:28

Thank you all for your advice and for again, sharing your experiences as it has been so helpful in reassuring me that this probably IS the best thing to happen to my sister.

Someone earlier said my parents sounds like they are out of their depth - yes; they are indeed, they are old and don't believe medicine can help at all which is why they resort to taking her for a walk during an episode to calm her down. They are also very worried that she will be given injections and medications in hospital which will make her forget who they are, who she is and everything about her life - a bit like what you see in the movies.

As my sister does this everyday (the shouting and screaming at people who are not there) I have lived wearing headphones day AND night with music, podcasts, radio or sounds to drown out the noise.

Someone also mentioned there should be a British Sign Language interpreter present, I do believe has been arranged as there as always been one present at every one of her meeting.

Thank you all again, have a wonderful day and I will keep you all updated.

OP posts:

Icemast · 07/03/2022 09:39

It's really tricky for families, especially as mental health facilities are the unknown in many ways- its rare to get an insight into them and there are horror stories and stigmas from years gone by and complete fiction that over time has become muddled with reality. Obviously not saying they are perfect, but I think that although it's unfortunate your parents feel this way I don't think they're alone in that. Hopefully though if it comes to being sectioned then they will get some comfort from the liason worker and on visits etc if these are deemed appropriate to her recovery.

Original poster

EdaYildiz · 09/03/2022 12:45

So they came this morning and sectioned my sister (section 2) my dad wasn't letting the doctors get a word in at all but thankfully the doctors were very persistent and managed to keep my dad quiet whilst they spoke to my sister to carry out the assessment - eventually taking her into hospital.

My sister is very unwell and would never have voluntarily gone into hospital - not because she didn't want to but because she doesn't understand how unwell she is. At one point during the assessment the doctors asked a question but she answered the complete opposite of what was asked, when the doctor asked her to repeat the question back to him, she couldn't even remember it.

My parents STILL can't acknowledge just how unwell my sister is, my mum is annoyed at her case worker because she feels that she "arranged" all of this and said she will never let her step foot into our house again and my dad is on the phone to a solicitor citing he has "lasting power of attorney" and they have "unlawfully" taken her.

I'm sad that my sister has gone but I'm confident she will get the help she needs -
I feel a little numb so I'm in my room as I don't know what to say or do right now.

OP posts:

BlanketsBanned · 09/03/2022 13:37

She is in the right place, your parents are in denial and will get nowhere behaving like this. If your sister moves onto a section 3 then she will be able to get free aftercare and may be safer living somewhere else in supported housing. Your sister is the doctors priority and the solicitor will know this.

Telebonn · 09/03/2022 13:41

Ah op my brother was sectioned and even though it was for the best it was still hard. Make sure you're getting support too, hope you're okay.

Choppingonions · 09/03/2022 13:46

What a difficult day. I'm thinking of you.

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