Emetophobia - terrified of this sickness bug

[nellyraggbagg]

This sounds so stupid, but I'm completely terrified of the children (not to mention DH and me) catching this Norovirus that's doing the rounds. I've been emetophobic for as long as I can remember, and it has become even worse since having children. Every time they open their mouths, I'm terrified they're going to say they feel sick. When I go to bed at night, my last waking thought is: "Oh my God, what if they're sick in the night?" My DH is working away a lot at the moment, which makes matters even worse (he is good at dealing with sick, thank goodness!!) I have dealt with both children being sick (I have found that manic cleaning helps very slightly to take my mind off the blind panic), but am rigid with fear following newspaper reports of this current bug. How will I pick DS up from school if DD and/or I get it? My Mum is miles away, unfortunately. And what if DH gets it? I don't know how I'd cope if he were sick. Please, please help, someone - even if just by saying that I'm not the only person who feels like this!

Thanks, calvemjoe. It sounds too good to be true! But anything is worth considering. How bad an emetophobe were you before your treatment?

Our friends did come yesterday - and their DS wouldn't eat anything at all "I've got a very poorly tummy", he said. OMG, I thought. I dare not ask her how he is today. His 18-month-old sister was helping herself to jam, licking her knife, then sticking it back in the jam-pot (pretty disgusting, even if you're not phobic, but panic-inducing if you are!!)

DS breaks up this Thursday, and is off for 2.5 weeks. We have everything crossed for lots of good weather so we can spend lots of time outside and not risk encountering noro-ridden children!

I was a bad emetaphobe, it took over my life, I'm so glad that it's all behind me now.

The phobia is my life!! It controls everything i do everyday..wish i could be normal. You are lucky to be rid of it.

Hello ladies, Hope you are having a better easter than we are. DS started complaining of a headache yesterday morning. He was really under the weather all day yesterday and wouldn't eat a thing. This morning he got up and threw up everywhere - lovely! He was sick again and is still complaining of a headache. Because of the severity of his headache I spoke to the doctor who wanted to see him straight away. We have just got back and we've got to keep an eye on him, go back if he's still unwell later. I am so worried that we will all go down with it and am just hpoing the sickness is because of the headache and not a bug iyswim. Please reassure me. To top it all my marriage is crumbling, DH doesn't know how he feels about me anymore and I am desperately trying to hold it all together, and I'm not sure how much longer I can do this. The atmosphere in this house is awful and I just don't know where I stand anymore. I love my family more than anything in the world and it is all crumbling before my eyes - I am powerless to do anything about it.

Hope all you ladies are having a good weekend. I'm off to wash my hands and antibac the sides - again

Wiggleit, you are right in what you say this phobia has control of my life. Ridiculous to have to say but so true. God knows how I would manage if I became a single parent. Today one thing has occured to me and that is that the actual fear of it is really far worse than the event of a dc being sick. I'm sure I'll change my mind if we all go down with it.

Oh and lastly to top my day off the washing machine packed up earlier.

BB Thanks for your response. I just feel so sad about my whole situation at home and I'm commited to making it work as we've been together for 17 years. This Phobia does I suppose have an impact on our relationship. For example I go into panic mode when he has to work away for the odd night because all I can think about is what if the dcs are sick. I can't believe that I am typing this and if you met me you would never believe that I'm this fucked up! However, on a brighter note I am two sessions into a course of analytical hypnotherapy. The therapist reckons she can get to the bottom of this within 7 to 8 sessions. But regardless I only pay for 10 and after that she is duty bound to keep seeing you without charging. It's something to do with their code of conduct. Very professional lady who I relate to very well. The relaxation side of things at the beginning is pure heaven.

It's very reassuring that you've said what you have about d&v. The little fella is now in bed with his dad. They've been watching Peter Pan, fallen asleep and I've left them there. Touch wood he has eaten some toast and a biscuit and it's not re appeared. Unless I want to try and carry him to bed it looks like I'll be on the sofa tonight.

My little boy is 4 years old and hasn't ever really complained of a headache. I gave him some more calpol before bed as his head still hurt. What do I do if he wakes with it again as it will be 48 hours and headaches shouldn't go on for this long - should they?

Sorry for the rambling tonight only everyone's asleep except me

Oh funnybunny, can sense your stress, but it's normal to feel that way under the circumstances. Has your DS got a temp? There is an awful head cold going around at the mo where we live and it is knocking adults off their feet so he may have a touch of that?? Just keep an eye on him. There's always NHS Direct or if you are that worried A&E. Sounds like the v'ing maybe connected to the headache, and as BB says, kids v much easier than adults and it's not always coz of a bug. If he wakes up with the headache i would be tempted to take him to A&E if he still seems poorly coz as you say it's a long time for a child to have headache..but i am the biggest worrier!! As for the hubby side of things, has he said why he doesn't know how he feels anymore? Is it to do with the phobia or other things? I understand that living with us emets must be incredibly hard for them..my DH is good to a point but doesn't always 'get' me iyswim.

BB good to see you too chick, thought everyone had deserted this thread, but then thought it was a good sign as no-one needed any help!! Thanx for the words of support..i must try and get some therapy, prob have to see another Dr coz the last one i saw didn't understand at all. But htis phobia really does control every aspect of my life. I HATE it!!!!

Wiggleit. He has had a bit of a fever. He's been on max does of calpol every 6 hours, so it has not really had the chance to increase. Chickenpox is doing the rounds at his nursery, so I won't be surprised if he wakes up covered in spots.I've just googled chickenpox and been on the nhs direcy website. He is showing all the symptoms that preceed C Pox. So I'll keep you posted.

As for dh he is not a bad man, in fact he is a very solid. reliable, loyal man whom I adore. So please don't think I'm on here slagging him off. It's just that we've lost our way somehow.

I didn't think for one minute you were slagging DH off funnybunny. Maybe you need a bit of counselling to get you back on track.All marriages go through rough patches and i think this phobia is just added pressure. I hope you can work through it hun, it's a hard time for you, give him space and time. As for DS, maybe he is coming down with chicken-pox or something, there's so many awful bugs going around isn't there? Just keep an eye out for other symptoms. xx

"I can't believe that I am typing this and if you met me you would never believe that I'm this fucked up!"

I suspect that would go for all of us on this thread. I'm sure I come across in real life as very cheerful and well-balanced - as I suspect we all would. It's one of the horrible things with this phobia. If you're afraid of heights, or are claustrophobic, for example, nobody would question it. But emetophobia is a kind of weirdo secret. Unfortunately (iyswim), my DH isn't phobic about anything, so I can't even say to him that my emetophobia is like his phobia of whatever. The result of that is that he just doesn't get it at all. He does try to understand, and helps in practical ways (like dealing with the dcs if they v) - but it's horrible to live with the real fear on your own.

Anyway, I am rambling. What I really wanted to say was that I'm so sorry that you're having a horrible time, funnybunny. You are coping so well with a really pants situation. I hope your DS's headache has lessened now. As for you and DH, I'm so sorry that you're having a bad time of it. Maybe you'll both be able to see things more clearly once your DS is better? I'm no expert on relationships, but I hope so much that you can work things out. xxxxx

Thanks Nelly, Would you agree that this phobia makes you a needy person. My Mum seems to think of me as someone who is needy. She doesn't really know about all of this. Although she does know that I find it hard to deal with the children when they are ill. She wouldn't be very sympathetic if she knew the full extent of this.

DC woke up this morning hungry. He has just popped out in the car with his dad to get some petrol. You wouldn't have thought he was so poorly yesterday. Although he is better I won't be seeing anyone today for fear of passing something on.

Excuse my bad language by the way but I couldn't think of any other way that expressed just how bad it makes you feel. x

Hi everyone, funny - glad all ok with your DS. I agree about this phobia making you a more needy person. It's a shame you can't tell your Mum the full extent of the problem..but i have to say of the people i have told about this problem i haven't had too much sympathy. My Mum was the only one who did understand but sadly she died, my mil thinks i'm a freak coz of this phobia...but thats a whole different thread!! Luckily i do have the support of DH but again he doesn't totally understand. How's things on the home front hun? Hope you and DH can manage to sort things out. Sending you a hug.. ..xx

Hi Funnybunny - really glad your DS is on the mend. I'm sending you a hug for the home front, too!

The needy thing is quite interesting. I've never thought of myself as a needy person, and in fact rather tend to avoid needy people - but when it comes to (eg) DH going away for a weekend, I definitely feel needy, and have to stop myself from saying: you can't go, because I have a phobia. I do always say "Oh no, what if the dcs are sick while you're away...", but don't (daren't) push it any further than that, as it would undoubtedly become damaging to our relationship. Last time DD was sick, he was 400 miles away and out of mobile reception range, so my "dd v sick pls come home NOW!" text didn't reach him until the next day - when he was due home anyway!!

My Mum does know about my phobia, but has never been very sympathetic on that score. She and I get on marvellously, and have always done so, but she is very no-nonsense about fears and phobias, and won't "indulge" me (as she would put it!!) I think she has always thought it was because I was never sick much as a child, and that I'd eventually grow out of it (some hope!!!!!)

I've sort of told a couple of people since, but never in any detail. My ex boyfriend repayed me for the confidence by getting very drunk and spending the whole night throwing up, which is one reason he became my ex!!

Hi everyone, how are we all? Hope everybody is well. Funny - how's things with you hun? Hope you are ok and bearing up!
Nelly - yes i too have an ex bf who did exactly the same! Not nice is it? Like you say, that's why they're ex's!

Hi all,
Hope you're okay, Funny - not to mention all the rest of you... I've spent the last five days laid up with vile flu (great time to get it - start of easter hols, and the dcs are driving DH round the twist because he's not me, iyswim). Keep telling myself to be grateful that it's not noro, though! See - even emetophobia has a silver lining!!

Hi Nelly, how awful for you, poor you! Hope you are feeling better, but like you say, on the positive side, it's not anything sicky...phew!! Get well soon hun. x

Thanks, wiggleit! As I've been saying for the last five days, maybe I'll be better tomorrow... Poor DD has a horrible cough as well, so every time she coughs, I fear she's going to v. Oh, the joys!

Bless ya! Proper flu is horrid, i've had it a few times over the years, i now have the flu jab. Feel for you hun. Hope your DD ok too..Roll on summer hey, fresh air n less germs!!! It's nearly April at least.

Hey everyone. Hope you are all as well as can be expected and had a good Easter.

Funnybunny - you coped marvellously. Am so glad your DC is better now. Sounds like all the symptoms of migraine to me. I used to get em when I was younger and thry are truly horrid. So sorry you have not having an easy time of it re your relationship. Have you and your DH had any more luck in sorting things out between you? I am another one who had a crap Easter. My DP has anger problems and refuses to go to anger management but thats another story all in itself.

How are you two Wiggelit and Nelly? I am another one who doesn't term myself as needy but there is something about this phobia that makes the most balanced woman turn into a quivering wreck.

Has anyone seen the tip of the day BTW?! I will let you find it out for yourselves but its not good and was definitely not written by one of us lol!!!

Evening all!

Well done bb! Your therapy seems to be working. Good luck with sesh 4 on Friday, let us know how you get on.

Nelly - how's you today, feeling any better? Hope so. Sending you a 'get well soon' hug ..

Notalone - Hiya, good to hear from you hun.. How you doing? Don't wana sound thick but how do you get the tip of the day? I'm not very computer literate and only just manage with typing messages on here! durrr!!

Hi funnybunny, how's you my little sausage? Hope you are ok. x

Oh Wow BB - you are doing fantastically!! What a huge bloody achievement.

Nelly - sorry, didn't realise you have flu. Hope you are back on your feet soon but in the mean time are on the sofa with choccies, dvd's and lots of sympathy.

Wiggleit - go to the home page and its on there. Let me know if this is an option for ya lol.

Thanks everyone for the kind thoughts and hugs! Have just emerged from the sofa, where I spent the day with DD (who had a temp of 105 last night... cue fears of v!!) watching Barbie, 101 Dalmatians and Beauty and the Beast DVDs (or, rather, sleeping through most of them). We were supposed to be going away on Friday, but have now changed our minds! Ah well, so long as there's no v, I can cope.

BB - you have already made progress. How very interesting. I never managed to do that at playgroup.

Tip of the Day nearly gave me a heart attack. Can you believe that there are people out there who are normal about v????!

Notalone - I sympathise on the anger front. My DH is a lovely man and a good dad, but has a v short fuse, esp. with the dcs (of whom he has seen an inordinate amount over the last five days!!) I have had repeatedly to drag myself off the sofa to sort out rows between him and DS...

Hi Nelly, Glad you are coming round a bit. Hope your DD is ok, she's probably got a touch of what you've got. Bless her.

Notalone - have you finished laughing at me yet?? I'm always good for the amusement factor!! Found the tip of the day..wow, do people actually let their kids throw up on them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No way!
Ta for guiding me hun..i am a bit blonde! xx