Want to die

[Rosebel]

I don't want to live anymore. I hate my job so much that I don't want to live another day doing it. It sounds stupid and dramatic but that's how I feel.
No one cares though. No one can help me. Can't give up though because we need the money.
I have a great husband and lovely kids but they deserve more than me. More than someone who's miserable and wants to end things.
I'm too scared to actually try and kill myself though incase it doesn't work and I survive.
Just so depressed. I actually think I'm fucking cracking up.

It is excellent that you have managed to apply for a different job. It is so hard to do that when you feel so low and every day feels like wading through treacle. That first step is often the hardest and you have taken it. I often think that just knowing there are other options is empowering.
💐

Also I have noticed that lately I feel ill all the time. Sick and tired mostly but have also had a chest and ear infection recently.
We're moving house in 2 weeks and I just feel exhausted and overwhelmed. Can't get time off work so packing in the evening once our toddler is asleep. Trying to reassure autistic DD about the change. Trying to support other DD in GCSEs.
All the time work is there at the back of my mind making me feel tired and shit. More than anything I need a break but can't go off sick and can't get time off.
My head hurts all the time and I'm really scared that I really am cracking up. A couple of my colleagues have noticed my mood but I can't put on a brave face anymore. It's too hard.

Why can't you go off sick. I think you need to

I'm sorry op but no job is worth your sanity. You urgently need to get signed off and speak to your GP. Im sorry your husband isn't supporting you. Is there anyone at all you can think of who will be a listening ear for you? Otherwise I've used the Samaritans and the text service shout - just text the word shout to 85258. There's someone there to reply to you and you don't have to say it out loud.

Please don't believe your illness. Its lying to you. Your children love you more than anything and and they need you. Their lives will be infinitely worse without you in it. They would never get over losing you. It is possible to get better from this but you do need to be really brave and ask for help. It's the hardest thing I've ever done but I'm still here, and living again. You can as well

If you broke your leg you would have to go off
work. If you were ill in hospital with pneumonia you would have to go off work. Whatever your DH may think, I don’t see this as being any different to those scenarios.

I'm a bit ashamed of this but need to get it off my chest. Had a bit of a melt down last night because I was so stressed, crying hysterically and really wondering if I should just end it.
My husband found me and talked me down but I think he realises how upset I am now. I didn't go to work today.
My husband knows I need to leave work now but with prices rising everywhere he's worried about how we're going to live.
It's all such a mess.

Take one step at a time Op. get signed off. Have a breather. Look for other jobs and look at your finances. Remember your health is more important than anything else.

Please don’t feel ashamed. It sounds as though that needed to happen. It’s good that he knows how you are feeling. Try to remember that you haven’t got to solve everything at once, just one step and one day at a time.

I don't think I can get signed off. My sister went to the doctors this month and was told you only get a sick note if you're off for 28 days. Apperently new rule brought in from 6th December.
If I could get a sick note my husband could take it in so work for me but I can't face ringing in and taking to unsupportive management.

I’m not au fait on the sick note rules, but I know someone who was signed off for 7 days recently ( non-Covid related, was a heavy cold by all accounts).

Gov.uk says if you’re off for less than 7 days you can self certify as sick, and do not need to give proof to your employer that you have been sick.
So if a 7 days break would be enough for you, you could do this.

If it’s more than 7 days you need a sick note from a GP to show your employer, so obviously you would need to show your GP that you are struggling so he/she signs the sicknote.

www.gov.uk/taking-sick-leave

You can get a sick note once you are off work for 7 days, until the you don't need one you cN self certify. The rules were different at end Dec- you didn't need a sick note until you'd been off for 28 days and could self certify u till then.

Don't take second hand info as read. Ask your dh to phone the GP and ask about sick notes. Phone in sick, if you don't feel able to say it's mental health say something else, like sickness. Or just say the words "mental health" you don't need to go any more in depth than that. In my company its 7 days self cert then get a sick note. Ultimately youre ill. You can't go to work.

Please get signed off ASAP so you can focus on yourself for a bit as best you can (I know with kids and alive it will br tricky) and move forward from there.

Whilst I don't 100% agree with your DH, I would advise thinking carefully about leaving your job without an alternative.

I returned to work after a sabbatical to care for a dying parent last year and found it so stressful I handed my notice in, probably without quite as much thought as I should have given it.

I'm now a bit less stressed but also isolated and struggling financially which is not a great deal of fun.

The new rule is regarding covid I think.
You can self certify for 7 days and then you need a letter from the doctor.

I know it’s hard but please call your gp. Even if you don’t get a sick note.

Please talk to someone, have you heard of the listening place? take a look even if you decide against it www.listeningplace.org.uk I work in mental health and a lot of clients use this and have found it helpful, although it depends on what area you are but there will be similar depending on where you are located. You sound extremely overwhelmed and stressed and you def need a break. I would totally advise you calling in sick, speak to your GP as well, you need some support, you need to speak to someone..