London - anxious about daughter visiting

[Shockedmama]

My teen wants to go to London with her dads family, who take such good care of her. But I’m worried about a terror attack an
I being un reasonable I don’t want her to not live her life but iv got such awful anxiety about it.

I understand the anxiety OP, I felt it after Manchester (work in Manchester) but anything can happen at any time, anywhere. Let her go and then distract yourself as best you can. London is wonderful in many ways, she'll have a lovely time.

I second not burdening your dc with your anxiety. I know that is easier said than done but you can drive yourself crazy worrying about "what ifs"

Londoner here. Lived here for over twenty years. Lived through a few terrorist incidents with the biggest personal fall out for me being an excessively long journey back home one day when public transport got cancelled.

Yes, they happen, but so do a million other things that could cause harm, from trees falling on cars in a hurricane to muggings at knifepoint. Neither of those things have happened to me either.

Let her go. But please get some help for your anxiety. It’s a bigger danger to you and her than a terrorist threat

@Letsallscreamatthesistene it's not harsh. Pandering to irrationality doesn't do anyone any favours.

If there is an attack it won't make a difference if she is with you or her Dad. I get your anxiety but it cannot prevent your daughter living her life.

I completely sympathise with you OP. I had a life threatening, very traumatic experience a few years ago, and the resulting fear of harm on a day to day basis is very real. Terrorism one of my main triggers too. DP is taking DS into London on Monday for some touristy bits, I feel very anxious inside, but he's so excited, bless him, that I'm managing to keep a lid on it. As hard as it is, you have to let her go. And look after yourself when she's there.

Honestly, millions of us live and work here and don’t bar an eyelash about that sort of thing.

Even though it does happen it’s a very unlikely occurrence.

I completely understand, op. I was the same when my dd went to London on a school trip. I let her go, but I was worried. Despite all the rationalisation such as crossing the road is dangerous and travelling in a car etc, I still worried.
I’m sure you dd will be fine, but your anxiety is real too. Be gentle with yourself.

[quote Waxonwaxoff0]@Letsallscreamatthesistene it's not harsh. Pandering to irrationality doesn't do anyone any favours.[/quote]
Nope it doesnt. You can word things a little better though, and be a little kinder.

I remember years ago after 7/7 I organised a school trip into town by tube. And a number of parents preferred to drive them in themselves rather than take public transport because of the risk of terrorism. I didn't say anything but the risk of those children getting hurt in the car on the way in was far higher than the risk of a terrorist attack at that exact time. However, we are not rational when it comes to our kids, let them go and try not to let your anxiety get the better of you.

Also a Londoner and terrorism doesn't even register on my list of worries about life. As others have said, you need to try and distance DD from your anxiety.

I live in outer london so we go into london all the time. There’s no obvious risk, let them enjoy their life

@Letsallscreamatthesistene perhaps, yes. That is something I admittedly struggle with.

I am the same! I know it's very unlikely but it's something that really worries me!

[quote Waxonwaxoff0]@Letsallscreamatthesistene perhaps, yes. That is something I admittedly struggle with.[/quote]
I can tell....

A terror attack can happen literally anywhere in the world at any time

Not really. A politically motivated terrorist will plan terror attacks in centres of population not in the back of beyond to ensure the most publicity. All the famous terror attacks this century and they are all in big cities.

That said, the biggest terror attack in recent years in the UK was the tube bombings with 56 deaths. The population of London is 9 million so the chance of being killed, or indeed in any way directly affected by a terrorist incident is tiny.

OP, you know you have to let your daughter go to London and have fun and not stop her living her life because of your anxiety.

@RainbowBridge21

Don't offload your anxiety on your kid, that's so unfair.

I’m not I’m off loading it on mumsnet to talk about it

I’m always very risk adverse with our kids and now grandchild.
YABU.

Yeah I do know that in my heart anf I know I’m going to let her go. I just needed some perspective sometimes I worry I’m letting her do something dangerous

Londoner here, lived here for more than 2 decades, what terror?

Well, it makes a change from covid I suppose. Nature is healing.

I have anxiety but i do still go dont let it run your life-if shes never been before it will be the highlight of her year and she'll love you for it

There have been no terror threats that I have heard.

Terrorist attacks occur everywhere, not just London. I'm sure she will be fine. Do let her go.

Op I would feel the same, I love London but haven't braved going in since the Manchester attack! I know it's anxiety but I can't help feeling this way. I'm just glad my DC are still too young to ask to go into the city! I do want my DC to experience London though, I spent alot of my child hood there so I know I need stop letting anxiety effect what i do.

London is huge. Absolutely huge. Just inner London comprises 123 square miles

Even if by the flukiest of coincidences, the first terrorist attack to happen in London for a very long time, happens on the day she is there, the odds of her being in that tiny few square metres affected at exactly the time that it happens are absolutely infinitesimal.

As others have said, millions of people live, work and go to school in London every day.without even thinking about terrorism. You're worrying about your DD spending a few hours there.