Health Anxiety...

[Chummy21]

Hi all... sorry for the long waffly post. I'm not even sure what I'm looking for. Maybe reassurance, advice, validation - I'm not sure.

I'm 41 and mum to 2 boys. Since October 2019 I've secretly struggled with health anxiety. I can lose hours googling symptoms. Every little twinge and niggle becomes something catastrophic. The irony is is that I never go to the doctors to have these things checked out. They either disappear and I find something else to fixate on or I struggle with them. An example being I heard a popping in my arm back in October 2020 while reaching for a drink 🙄 I've dealt with the pain until it's taking over my life both physically and mentally. I'm now waiting for a scan to see what the problem is. But, it's taken me all this time to address it - I'm so terrified of the outcome!

Anyway... aside from this I blow every symptom out of proportion and I KNOW I'm doing it. I just can't seem to stop. I feel really pathetic especially when I see people actually are unwell.

I had covid back in December and before that I had a none covid cough. I also had cold sores... I now have another non covid cold and another cold sore. Today, I have been googling possible causes, when to worry and autoimmune diseases. I KNOW it's just a cold and I've had cold sores since I was little. I just can't turn these thoughts off.

My anxiety does get worse around my period. This is my first true period after coming off contraceptives. I self referred to the mental health team a couple of weeks ago and I'm now on the CBT waiting list. I was told it can take months. So, I'm just wondering if anyone can relate or does anyone have any suggestions.... (please don't judge, I already feel pathetic)

You need to stop googling things. I have health anxiety and googling makes it a thousand times worse

@Furbaby2842 it does. I just feel almost adicted to it. I'll feel something then have to find out what could be causing it and I obsess over it until it goes.

Can I ask if anything helps or has helped you?

I try to tell myself I'm being silly and it's nothing (which it always is). When I get really worked up I do actually go to the gp. This is after I spent a month a couple of years ago convinced I had a brain tumour. I rang the doctor eventually sobbing about it and she told me that if I ever worry that much again I need to go to the GP ASAP to put my mind at ease. I've done this twice in the last two years and as soon as the doctor has told me ok it just disappears out my mind completely. Obviously this isnt something people can do all the time but I only seem to get flare ups of my HA so for me, with it not being a regular occurrence, it does help. I also don't Google things anymore as I think that's one of the things that set mine off in the first place

Thank you for replying. You're right. I need to put my phone down and find a distraction. Sometimes I feel like I'm actually drowning in these thoughts. Forgetting to breathe so I breathe too much.

Do you take anything to help? Or have had any sort of therapy?

I know I'm being irrational which is why don't feel like I can call the GP.

Hi @Chummy21 I also have health anxiety. Just as you describe. I find that when I'm at my worst, I need to make a gp appointment to discuss, and instead of googling, I listen to a health anxiety podcast. I also find if I eat better (healthier) and exercise, I feel a bit more in control - a part of health anxiety for me is the feeling of not being in control if something is actually wrong, if you see what I mean.

If I'm nervous about phoning to gp I ask myself... if it were one of my children who felt like this, what would I want them to do? I would want them to be strong enough to take control, get checked out then move on with life. And it's my responsibility to set that example for them.

Might not work for anyone else but just my ways of managing!

Oh @MrsMyreton this is lovely advice. You're right, I'd want my children to get help ( I do obsess about their health aswell). You've hit the nail on the head with the control side of things. That's exactly what it is, the fear of losing control of myself and having no control over my future.

Thank you for this xx

Have you been offered antidepressants ?

@SomewhereOnlyIKnow I haven't seen anyone about how I've been feeling. I'm sure it sounds ridiculous but I'm so scared of my feelings being undermined that I feel like I can't call the GP. My doctors aren't the most sympathetic.

I've not taken any tablets. When I first rang my GP about it they did say I could have tablets and said I could refer myself for therapy. She also recommended downloading an app (can't recall the name of it though sorry!). I said no to tablets as my HA is quite sporadic so didn't think takin every day would benefit me. Ive read online that writing down how you feel in a diary is meant to be good

That's a good idea @Furbaby2842. I'm having a really bad day today. Thank you for your advice

I’ve sought help for this just this week OP - Talking Therapies via the GP. Best of luck, it’s debilitating and I’ve reached my limit of what I can put up with - my HA has got worse since I’ve had kids

@lostteaspoon thanks for your reply, only just seen it.

I'm on the CBT waiting list - which will take months.
Same here. I feel very much at breaking point. I'm either compulsively googling signs and symptoms or I'm in tears.
I called the GP yesterday but because of the messed up system they sent me a consultation request link which will be reviewed within 48 hours 🙄

Hope your therapy goes well. It really is debilitating, I honestly can't remember the old me x

I feel you. I am in day three of being terrified I have bowel cancer - all because I went for a BM and got some period blood on the toilet roll. Now I know it didn’t come from my bum but can I tell my health anxiety? No!

Something that helped me a great deal was to get a notebook and on each page, draw a line down the middle.

When a niggle pops up and you're obsessing over it, write down in the left column what you believe is wrong i.e I have a headache so it must be a brain tumour.

Then later on, when you have moved away from this obsessive thought, in the right column next to your original 'diagnosis' you write the reality i.e I had a migraine and it passed after a day or so.

Eventually, you will be able to look back and see your predictions and the reality and it will help you address your disordered view. This is what happened with me. It's not a cure by any means, but it is forever reassuring to look back and see what I BELIEVED and what was REAL.

I hope this helps you. xxx

Hi, mental health is a huge issue especially now. I really hope you are ok. I am a psychology student and I am looking into anxiety and vaccines. If you are interested I have attached the link for o my study. Thank you, derby.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_ctK9XbRPYM6XKm2

@Tunnocks34 I had exactly this last week! I kept compulsively wiping my bum just to check and ending up making myself really sore. The logical part of me knows the truth my other part will have none of it 🙄 my GP surgery text me yesterday to say someone will be in touch on the 8th!!!

@MissKittyFantastico84 that's a fantastic idea. When I think back to all the things I've obsessed over I feel ridiculous. Even now I can't stop checking my tongue for signs of cancer. Reason being its a little white (post covid/cold) and my taste buds when I poke it out really far look enlarged. I know, I KNOW the reasons are viral and I'm extremely run down, there's no pain or any open sores but I can't stop going down this rabbit hole until my tongue looks better.
I will definitely try your suggestion x

@Alexandrap88 Thank you, I'll take a look. Medication/vaccine side effects are a massive trigger for me.

Hi everyone. Hope I'm OK to join, I have been really bad these last few weeks with this niggly feeling in my side and on my bottom left rib. I wouldn't even say its a pain. Just noticing a little ache there. Could be strain from lifting or carrying things. But my health anxiety is driving me crazy.
Thinking the worst. Was on citrapram a few years ago but lately feeling I need to go back on them or I just need to give my head a shake.
Hope everyone is OK, some good advice here.

@Squeekybummum I damaged the cartilage on my bottom rib a few years ago and it still flairs up. The bottom rib is easy to damage as it’s not full size or attached to the middle long bone or something.

Thanks Tunnocks34 I do remember going the doctors over the same issue a couple of years ago. That time it was caused by carrying my daughter who was 2 at the time.

@Squeekybummum hi love, I know how you're feeling. It's these niggly things that cause the most anxiety. They raise the questions: what's that? What caused it? Could it be....?

My first instinct is to reach for my phone so I can diagnose it. I've started embracing this now and I'm sometimes (not always) reassured once I've analysed the symptoms and thought about it I can usually see it's not always the worst case scenario.

I'm 7 days into taking sertraline and I've had a couple of rough days with low mood but the screaming voice which tells me I'm dying has been quietened down a bit.

Call your GP and tell them how you're feeling. It's the best thing I've done in 2022 xx

Thanks Chummy21 I have tried my best to stay off Google. I have kept my mind busy this morning, then the bloody post man delivers my smear reminder.
This always makes my anxiety so bad. I'm on edge until I get my results.

Oh, I'm the same with smears. Yesterday I had a really good day until the evening when I was watching the tele and all of a sudden I thought I'd best check my breasts.... these thoughts are so intrusive and consuming x

I think the anxiety is the worst bit, plus something I convince myself that of i news article comes up about a young mum having cancer. It’s a sign from god telling me to check myself for that type of cancer. An the problem is, I can often find something to fixate on, once I went to my gp because I felt a hard lump in my stomach after prodding and prodding. It was poo moving it’s way through my Colon 😳

The anxiety is definitely the worst part. I have been poking and prodding my rib, trying to find something or worrying that it feels different to the other side. This is why it's sore. But my brain is ignoring that and telling me it's the c word.
Haven't told my husband, he is so supportive but I can see he thinks I'm being silly and doesn't understand x

I'm lying here in bed right now worrying about uterine cancer.
I came on yesterday so of course I know logically my swollen, bloated, painful tummy is because of that. I've convinced myself I can feel a mass. I know, I KNOW - this is my mind playing tricks. But, this will be me now until it's over.
My partner has no idea I'm like this or that I've started meds. Every time I think about saying it I clam up and just can't open my mouth.