Adult ADHD Diagnosis - Anyone offer any advice?

[ThisisMax]

Hi

I am M, 47 and recently was reading a piece on procrastination (while procrastinating) and it mentioned ADHD and I had a look. I was gobsmacked as most of the indicators on the ADHD article were very familiar. I wonder if anyone who has experience of ADHD could take a look and tell me what they think and also next steps (I'm not in UK)
The things that stood out for me were:

Daydreaming/ zoning out - thats me - multiple tabs openin my head.

Procrastination and getting upset about not being able to start a piece of work, this then affects future pieces of work as I think I cannot start.

Brain fog - complete floating about - unable to hold interest on anything so I cannot watch a TV programme or film as there are too many distractions and I have to use my phone/ scroll etc to keep interested.

School I underperformed, college same even though I am fairly smart. I did achieve a Masters but really it took so much out of me I can't believe I did it. Very capable in terms of delivering it - getting down to it was the stress.

I am now freelance in my career as I could not 'get' social structure/ office politics. Any authority figure who criticised my performance (even fairly) I took a dislike to as the criticism stung too much as I really 'was trying' but just could make no sense of work.

If I have to hyper focus on something I love I can turn out great pieces of work and people are pleased with it but if its routine work I find it super difficult.

I find it hard to regulate - if I have a small argument with my wife I hold onto it for ages - drags my mood down even though we have a great relationship I'm aware this is not nice for either of us. Over the years I have learned to just process this myself as opposed to argue as its not her fault that I act like this. So I go off for a walk and MAKE myself not be a dick on my return. This works as nearly always the issue is how I interpret this - so a mood swing.

Lots of other stuff, sleep is all over the place - I start to peak with ideas/ clear thinking about 10pm - 1am then wake absolutely wrecked and it takes hours to get started. I have to carefully plan my work not to get overwhelmed.

The one thing though - I am super 'organised' I think because I have learnt to be - calendar and lists for everything - schedule on my screen, reminders, keys in the same place etc. Very rigied on this stuff so I don't get stressed.

It just occured to me recently that none of this is normal - life feels like a treadmill and stressful - particularly the overthinking. I had depression and significant anxiety before so I know they play a part in ADHD too.

Can anyone advise - should I go and try for diagnosis? What about medication - many of the threads I have read on here seem to say that they are good and useful.

Sorry for long post.

It just occured to me recently that none of this is normal

I'd disagree with that.
Lots of what you have written is 'normal' for loads of people.

Whether you go for an assessment or not is a really personal thing. What difference do you think it will make to your life?

Obviously, if you are not in the UK, I do not know the process where you are, but in the UK, it takes a long time, and they like to talk to other people who remember you as a child.

Re medication - the threads I have been reading give a mixed view of medication - for some it is fantastic, for others a mixture of responses and for others they do not like what it does to them at all. So I don't think it is particularly straightforward.

Thanks @Kite22 I will go read more. Im not sure a lot of my friends experience life as I have described for me. Definitely needs more investigation.
I will look into process here.

I tick a lot of the statements you have posted here, and I have recently been diagnosed with adhd. See your GP and ask for a referral under ‘nhs right to choose’ which allows you to get diagnosed faster by private clinic funded by nhs £.

OP has said she isn't in the UK @Adirondack

@Adirondack

I tick a lot of the statements you have posted here, and I have recently been diagnosed with adhd. See your GP and ask for a referral under ‘nhs right to choose’ which allows you to get diagnosed faster by private clinic funded by nhs £.

Except she’s not in the U.K. if you read opening post🙄

OP is also male, if you read the opening post.

Thank you @Adirondack I am in Ireland and just looked. Private - the wait list is pretty long and public its years long. But I really feel that I should look at this as I find day to day really hard.
Would you mind me asking what were the indicators for you and did you start medication?
Thank you

but in the UK, it takes a long time, and they like to talk to other people who remember you as a child. Not necessarily. I was diagnosed less than 9 weeks since I was referred, and they only spoke to me. I've been waiting 9 months for an appointment with a gynaecologist mind

Loving the fact that two people have chastised me for missing a detail in a v long opening post... on a thread about Adhd.
I have adhd. Symptoms include: inattentiveness, lack of attention to detail, forgetfulness.... but please, carry on with the eye roll emojis.

@Adirondack

Loving the fact that two people have chastised me for missing a detail in a v long opening post... on a thread about Adhd. I have adhd. Symptoms include: inattentiveness, lack of attention to detail, forgetfulness.... but please, carry on with the eye roll emojis.

Apologies for the very long post. I missed that you missed the detail 😬

@ThisisMax sorry i missed that you are in Ireland. To answer your question- I read by chance a few different articles in the press including various celebrities taking about their adhd diagnosis as adults and I realised I ticked many of the boxes. I did a couple of online screener tests and scored high- so I thought that adhd might be the real reason behind why I feel like a failure despite a good brain, lots of qualifications and degrees etc. I just don’t seem to be able to adult like others do! Getting diagnosed has been huge. Not on meds yet

@Adirondack Thank you. Dont worry about the detail, I do that all the time. I guess Im similar to you. I scored highly in two tests and again read a few interviews where it really sounded exactly like me. I dont think life is supposed to be this complicated. Work is much better since I went freelance but still have scheduling and starting issues. Thanks for chipping in with your story.

@Adirondack

Loving the fact that two people have chastised me for missing a detail in a v long opening post... on a thread about Adhd. I have adhd. Symptoms include: inattentiveness, lack of attention to detail, forgetfulness.... but please, carry on with the eye roll emojis.

I was thinking and about to post exactly that @Adirondack FFS!!

I have ADHD too and you are ticking a lot of the boxes. I was diagnosed aged 48.

Did you have symptoms before aged 12 - this is required for diagnosis?

Is it an option for you to go private? This can massively reduce the waiting times but can get v expensive as you pay for assessment and then titration/ongoing meds costs if you want to try meds.

I have ADHD and was diagnosed 15 years ago (bloody hell! time flies) and it wasn't even on my radar when my GP said it.

To be honest, the effects of it have ruined my life.

Or to be more precise knowing something was "wrong" but not knowing what and wasting years fucking around wasting time.

I don't know where you are but obviously not the UK.

Can you have a chat / phone chat with your usual doctor and see what their reaction is at all?

I am not going to comment on your symptoms as only you know the impact they have on you.

Good luck in whatever you decide to do!!

Also, just noticed you are a man so you may find it easier to get advice as many medical people (even now) think that it is mainly a male condition.

Also, have you got any of your old school reports or paperwork at all?

(Long shot I know)

Loving the fact that two people have chastised me for missing a detail in a v long opening post

"chastised" ???
I was pointing out that the advice you had given didn't apply outside of the UK. No chastisement at all.

but in the UK, it takes a long time, and they like to talk to other people who remember you as a child. Not necessarily. I was diagnosed less than 9 weeks since I was referred, and they only spoke to me.
Wow. Where in the UK is this ? I think a lot of people might want to move there. My (adult) dc asked her GP for help in June 2019.... after a lot of pushing for a diagnosis letter (after 3 lots of 2hour appts in that time, all repeating what we wrote in the original list of reasons why she wanted an assessment, then repeating the same questions at each of the appointments), she finally got a letter at Christmas just gone, but is still waiting for the next appointment to talk about what they might be able to do to help her..... so that is going to be virtually 3 years for her. They said what I could tell them about her childhood and strengths and areas of difficulty was a crucial part of the diagnostic criteria, so interesting to hear that is is so different in different parts of the country.

testing

Dear M. I recognise most almost all or meybe all if what you have said.

Me too!

@Kite22 I'm in South Wales.

speak to you GP and find out if they would accept a private diagnosis (which u can pay for quickly) ..

whether it's worth it or not depends how much its impacting your life. I'm going on medication because I fear I will lose my job if I don't (struggling to get things done).

Thanks Happenchance. Ridiculous isn't it how different it is in different parts of the UK.

@TooManyPJs

Did you have symptoms before aged 12 - this is required for diagnosis?

Is it an option for you to go private? This can massively reduce the waiting times but can get v expensive as you pay for assessment and then titration/ongoing meds costs if you want to try meds.

@TooManyPJs Thanks for message - Yes I did have this as a child - just vague fog, not 'getting' play structure, totally missed maths - still have no idea. All the same as now - no ability to concentrate. I only got ahead as I could remember detail very welll and was smart enough to think my way out of things. My whole of primary school was a feeling of fear - all of it. I think going private is my only option as waiting lists are three years for public.