Hi
I am M, 47 and recently was reading a piece on procrastination (while procrastinating) and it mentioned ADHD and I had a look. I was gobsmacked as most of the indicators on the ADHD article were very familiar. I wonder if anyone who has experience of ADHD could take a look and tell me what they think and also next steps (I'm not in UK)
The things that stood out for me were:
Daydreaming/ zoning out - thats me - multiple tabs openin my head.
Procrastination and getting upset about not being able to start a piece of work, this then affects future pieces of work as I think I cannot start.
Brain fog - complete floating about - unable to hold interest on anything so I cannot watch a TV programme or film as there are too many distractions and I have to use my phone/ scroll etc to keep interested.
School I underperformed, college same even though I am fairly smart. I did achieve a Masters but really it took so much out of me I can't believe I did it. Very capable in terms of delivering it - getting down to it was the stress.
I am now freelance in my career as I could not 'get' social structure/ office politics. Any authority figure who criticised my performance (even fairly) I took a dislike to as the criticism stung too much as I really 'was trying' but just could make no sense of work.
If I have to hyper focus on something I love I can turn out great pieces of work and people are pleased with it but if its routine work I find it super difficult.
I find it hard to regulate - if I have a small argument with my wife I hold onto it for ages - drags my mood down even though we have a great relationship I'm aware this is not nice for either of us. Over the years I have learned to just process this myself as opposed to argue as its not her fault that I act like this. So I go off for a walk and MAKE myself not be a dick on my return. This works as nearly always the issue is how I interpret this - so a mood swing.
Lots of other stuff, sleep is all over the place - I start to peak with ideas/ clear thinking about 10pm - 1am then wake absolutely wrecked and it takes hours to get started. I have to carefully plan my work not to get overwhelmed.
The one thing though - I am super 'organised' I think because I have learnt to be - calendar and lists for everything - schedule on my screen, reminders, keys in the same place etc. Very rigied on this stuff so I don't get stressed.
It just occured to me recently that none of this is normal - life feels like a treadmill and stressful - particularly the overthinking. I had depression and significant anxiety before so I know they play a part in ADHD too.
Can anyone advise - should I go and try for diagnosis? What about medication - many of the threads I have read on here seem to say that they are good and useful.
Sorry for long post.