@hazidaze
No I haven't really mentioned anything to anyone. They'd just think I'm making a thing out of nothing probably. It's not like I have a bad background or anything like that. I appreciate the replies on here though, I know there's no reason why anyone has to spend time responding to my self-pity.
There is every reason for people to respond. Depression isn't self pity. Please reach out if you're feeling suicidal. It doesn't have to be someone who knows you if that's a barrier, your GP, Samaritans, one of the online mental health sites. I can't help with UK numbers but we have some charities here you can text if you're feeling suicidal and can't talk, maybe there's something like that where you are too.
I know a family who lost their niece to suicide, they would give anything to go back and be able to have helped her. There was no real reason, nothing wrong in her life, as far as her family know, she was depressed silently, smiling outward, no one knew till it was too late. There doesn't need to be a reason for your depression, you deserve help. If you are struggling you deserve help. That's it.
I've been very very low and come back, slowly moment by moment. I'm not doing well again, but I'm getting through it moment by moment. Medication can really help, medication has helped me, and CBT. The counseling, sometimes you need the medication first to be in a place where things like CBT can help.