People who have been in the lowest place and got over it

[hazidaze]

Has anyone managed this? Is there anyone on here who can give me hope that it's possible to go from spending so much time thinking about doing something to not thinking about that any more in the future?

Me! I got to the stage where I couldn’t function at all. Meds and CBT. My life is so different. I can feel happiness. I can laugh. I can get tasks done and handle bumpy times.

I felt despairing and as if there was no point to being alive last year. I was crying every day and feeling trapped. I feel ok now, stable and quietly hopeful. A combination of plodding on with the days and trying to create better habits and health, seeking mental health support and some external circumstances changing for the better for me have all helped. Hang in there, this is a tough time for you, it will get better x

thanks

Seems insurmountable most of the time

I'm so sorry you're going though such a shit time. Another here to say that yes, things will get better, hang in there x

Yes .. it was unbelievably hard.
OCD - it completely controlled my life to the point where I nearly took my own life. CBT an amazing mental health nurse who literally saved me and medication.
I now have a career, husband and amazing children, and I have my mental health under control. I never take that control for granted though xxx

You can get through it xxx

I'd like to know. I feel so bad I don't think I can remember who I am anymore

I'm scared I've turned into a different person entirely, did anyone else feel like that?

@hazidaze

Has anyone managed this? Is there anyone on here who can give me hope that it's possible to go from spending so much time thinking about doing something to not thinking about that any more in the future?

That's so vague that it's hard to give a good answer, but the solution to perpetually brooding over something is to go do something else. For instance, if you're brooding after a partner dumped you, then you make an effort to create more socializing in your life.

Personally, I find it's sometimes helpful to be reminded of people who had troubles beyond anything we experience - like being trapped in a war zone.

Yes, at two very different times in my life I have felt like doing things a part of me knew I didn't want to do. And I didn't know how or when I would quite get out of those feelings. And that I felt like a separate person from who I was before. And I wasnt quite sure I'd get back to the same person afterwards.

You have to just keep getting up, keep putting one foot in front of the other, and nurture yourself. Don't push yourself beyond what you can handle or berate yourself for not doing enough. Just keep showing up for life. Eventually you will find your way again. I'm in the recovery phase at the moment. I'm slowly getting there.

I'm still the same person underneath, but also both times have been really significant times in my life that I have grown through in some way, leaving me more authentically myself and determined to do things the right way for me, with more clarity about what that is.

And all the shite trite but true stuff. If you're in the shit keep swimming. Nothing lasts forever. Etc.

The second time was easier. I knew it would pass, so I could live each day for the days I knew would come after.

Yes I can relate to this too. I couldn't recognise myself and was horrified at how I had come to where I was. It was terrifying. Long term therapy was absolutely essential in my case, I now feel quite angry when someone snorts about therapy being useless as until you have been in the pit and actually had someone there who is able to give you time to process you have no idea what you are talking about. You can get through this, none of us can tell you how but my advice would be to open to whatever you are stuck on and reach out for help if it is so much to process alone. I don't agree with the advice to distract yourself, not with the language you are using. You can come through this, you may have needed to let go of who you were before and it is brutal to stop recognising yourself. Take care

I have done. I had a serious nervous breakdown and can never put into words the despair that I went through. I spent nine months in bed, I could hardly stand or walk, I was severely agoraphobic and having panic attacks all the time. I never thought I’d get better. The mental health team said they’d never seen such a severe case of agoraphobia and they warned me I might never get to a place of leading a normal life. I fought off suicidal urges every day for a long time.
I have a good life now. I have my struggles but they are “normal” struggles (if that makes sense). I go out normally, have weekends away, do my shopping in the supermarket, do all the things I never thought I’d be able to do ever again.
In my case it was finding the right medication.
You can get better. Please don’t give up hope of recovery.

I'm not sure I even want to anyway tbh

@hazidaze that’s the mental illness talking. If you were well you wouldn’t feel that way.

OP, I'm so sorry you are feeling so bad. Are you getting any help? Have you spoken to your doctor or to your family or friends?

People can definitely come back from the very depths of mental health.

I hope you feel better soon (whatever that mean).

No I haven't really mentioned anything to anyone. They'd just think I'm making a thing out of nothing probably. It's not like I have a bad background or anything like that. I appreciate the replies on here though, I know there's no reason why anyone has to spend time responding to my self-pity.

Yes, I got out of my lowest point last year!

At the time, if anyone suggested I do exercise, do some life admin or clean the house to feel better, I'd just roll my eyes. It definitely makes you feel better doing that stuff, but lots of people don't understand they are impossible tasks to do when seriously depressed.

Tbh the only thing that helped me was completely letting go of my existing life and responsibilities. I moved house, moved closer to where I'm originally from, let go of a couple of difficult contracts (I'm self-employed), ghosted anyone that was creating any minute bit of stress in my life for about 6 months, and focused on getting enjoyment from little things. Buying overpriced treats, not worrying about a bit of credit card debt. I even let myself get kinda fat eating delicious junk and just stopped worrying about it. At my lowest I was pretty set on killing myself, so I saw letting all standards slip completely and getting at least some enjoyment out of my one life first, and that mindset got me where I am today (back to normal, with a gym membership as well...)

Honestly, it helps SO much to just focus on yourself, give yourself unlimited patience and kindness and bloody TREAT yourself. A bit of debt is a lot less of a worry than the other thing!

After about 6 months you might be on the other side, gradually doing bits of cleaning/exercise/etc here and there.

I'd also recommend the book The Tao of Pooh. Someone bought it for me, it's all about allowing yourself to go with the flow.

Look after yourself OP. Like on a plane, you have to secure your own oxygen mask first xxx

@hazidaze my low point wasn’t because I had a bad life. It was an illness. Just like my asthma or eczema could get bad. My GP helped.

@hazidaze

No I haven't really mentioned anything to anyone. They'd just think I'm making a thing out of nothing probably. It's not like I have a bad background or anything like that. I appreciate the replies on here though, I know there's no reason why anyone has to spend time responding to my self-pity.

Please speak to your GP.

At my worst I was suicidal, on tranquillisers, AD, beta blockers and was self harming.

I then went through a long spell of being pretty happy, got myself off the tranquillisers and beta blockers and reduced the AD. Life was pretty good again.

I’m struggling a bit at the moment, I’m having CBT for OCD as the pandemic has sent me into overdrive, but I know things can get better.

Hang on in there. I hope things feel brighter for you soon

Hi. I sympathise as I’m in the same place. Hand hold.

@hazidaze you can have severe depression without having a bad or troubled background. Mental illness can hit anyone. You've nothing to be ashamed of. You can't help it if you're ill. I know you don't believe it but you truly do deserve help and you need medical support.
Read back through the posts here and see how many people are essentially telling you the same thing.
Nobody had an obligation to respond to you. But they have because they recognise exactly how you feel and remember the same pain and utter despair so clearly.
Please seek medical help.
You're not well and there are honestly things that can help you feel stronger

As above. Sorry you feel like this, it will change. Definitely see a doctor. Change your activity - if you are ar home go out. If you are sitting in a cafe go for a walk. Take the smallest good thing and think about that. Write four good things down each day. Tell yourself you can do it rather than berate yourself. And, mad though it sounds, get a paintbrush and a colour that appeals and just paint a sheet of paper a nice colour. When that gets boring paint circles. This is madly soothing and it’s good at breaking thought cycles as you have to really concentrate to get anything like a circle! I found it effective anyway!
It can be done and look others have done it. You an and will do it too. 💐❤️

Thought I was the lowest I could be 14 years ago when I tried to take my life. Was actually the lowest coming round from it in hospital and realising it hadn't worked, dealing with the consequences and having to move forward.

Wonderfully, immensely, ridiculously grateful that I'm here. Have had severe low ponts since then which are horrible and disappointing and heartbreaking and feel overwhelming and unfixable when in them, but they aren't and I've ridden them all out and life apart from them (and even during them in some ways) is sweet and precious and I have so much I never thought I'd have.

Not always easy, but always worth it.

@hazidaze

No I haven't really mentioned anything to anyone. They'd just think I'm making a thing out of nothing probably. It's not like I have a bad background or anything like that. I appreciate the replies on here though, I know there's no reason why anyone has to spend time responding to my self-pity.

I'd suggest just try to express how low you feel to the Samaritans.

You don't have to understand why you feel like this to understand that you do feel like this.

for you

Yes me!!

I had a breakdown 4 years ago, my mother was terminally ill, I was caring for both parents, my son was on asd pathway and day to day was so hard plus I was terrified of future and I worked as a social worker. It started as depression then turned into anxiety and in the end I just couldn't cope, I couldn't get out of bed and I was having suicidal thoughts. I tried anti depressants but I felt worse (tbf I only gave it a week) my dr prescribed Valium for a week, it got me out of bed and then I started trying to get better. Firstly I quit my job and became a sahm (a luxury I know) I also tried lots of things -

CBT - through NHS was lucky only a 3 week wait list at time. It really helped me manage negative thoughts better.
Mindfulness- did a 6 week course through NHS was amazing as I learnt to stop feeling afraid of my own feelings
Yoga - helps with breathing/focus
Meditation - I do guided one's through calm app
Hypnotherapy- it was expensive £60 a session but it was amazing at relaxing my body and calming it down. It helped me feel more positive. ( I later found out I was entitled to free hypnotherapy through a carers charity)
Walking- feeling more grounded
Dancing- fun and gets heart rate going

It was a gradual process but within a few months I felt better and I started to learn how to accept difficult feelings, 18m later the anxious feelings had gone completely and my mood had lifted.

Now my son is the light of my life, I just love him so much he's the best thing in the world. I work part time in a job I enjoy. We lost my mum but I still care for my dad. I am ok with what my life is now and manage my feelings so much better.

The best thing you can do is ask for help and try to do things to help yourself. Good luck and good for you for coming here to ask for advice .