Can’t take anymore

[DavidPavid]

I can’t take anymore of this. CV and not boosted but had 3 doses primary. For all I know I have zero protection.
GP didn’t code my records properly so I should have got a priority pcr and then entitled to anti- virals but I was missed off again. GP too busy to amend notes.
There are over 200000 cases, hundreds dying each week, thousands and increasing in hospitals, those hospitals aren’t even functioning safely right now, no medical appointments, ambulances generally not available, millions isolating and millions pretty ill with so called mild covid.
Yet kids are back to school which will lead to millions of cases a day. A non functioning country… possibly no fuel, no food nothing as no workers. You don’t just get this once either - lots of people have had it multiple times.
I have zero quality of life. If I get covid I might live even without the anti virals. But it’s a matter of time before this test happens. If I get through covid, long covid beckons. After years of illness fatigue, it’s something I’m not prepared to go through again.
I’ve had sucidal thoughts for a while. Plans now made. Oh yes I tried to speak to GP - no appointments .
There is nothing to look forward to is there?

Hello OP, we are really sorry to hear you are feeling this way.
We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged up to us we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources.

You can also go to the Samaritans website or email them on [email protected].

Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you will be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other MNers will tell you, it's really a good idea to seek RL help and support as well.

We are going to move this thread to the Mental Health section shortly

Sounds tough, OP. Didn’t want to read and run. Hand holding if that is of any help, OP. Things are really hard right now.

There is nothing to look forward to is there?

There very well could be, what did you enjoy doing before the pandemic ? What did you enjoy doing even when you were suffering from illness and fatigue ?

Please speak to someone if you are feeling overwhelmed, it is good to vent and get it all out, don't bottle it up

Can you send your GP an email, or do they have an online consult ? Sometimes its easier to do that , than try to get through on the phone. Coding would be fairly easy to sort I would imagine.

I’m CEV. Didn’t get the booster. No idea if I’ve developed decent immunity after vaccination.
BUT I think there’s loads to look forward to. Vaccines are available. Treatments and techniques being refined all the time.
Lots of people haven’t had it. Or have had it with mild or even zero symptoms. Not all people develop long covid. Not by a long shot.
And the country is functioning. I can get medication and food. Seeing a doctor in a week or so. Husband had dental treatment. Daughter going to school soon and son back off to uni.
PLUS!!! The little things. The dog walk I enjoyed with my son and two hounds earlier. Where we laughed and chatted away. Seeing my mum earlier and planning for her birthday.
What did you enjoy! Music? Still there! Reading? Still there! Exercise? Yep you can still do that!!
If you need help Samaritans are always there and if you’re in imminent danger please go to A and E.
Better days are coming.

You just sound depressed op and I’m betting if Covid wasn’t around you would be feeling this way about something else. Life is peppered with good and bad bits and then we die. No great purpose or meaning. I try to enjoy the good bits, take joy in small things and when the bad things happen (and they happen to me a lot, death, illness) then I get through it knowing this too shall pass and brighter days shall come again. Come off all social media including the news, it is not doing you any good. Focus on how you are right now. Warm, fed, safe and sheltered. Count your blessings (and yes it does help to say there are millions so much worse off, in Syria, Afghanistan, Yemen etc). Like @Wolfiefan’s excellent post says, there are much better treatments now and it is not a given you will get very ill. I am CEV, had Covid pre-vaccine and was fine.
Read nice trashy novels, watch gentle programmes and just be ok now. That’s all any of us can do. Hope you get the help you need op

Please get help OP, you sound very depressed. Go to A&E if things reach crisis level. Or reach out to a friend urgently.

There is still SO much to enjoy. My mum is 68 & CEV & she’s living a very happy life currently. She’s refusing to let covid cause her too much anxiety anymore. She sees her grandchildren multiple times a week, she sees friends regularly for walks or coffee mornings at each other’s houses, she goes out for dinner with dad (they pick quieter times), she goes shopping at quieter times.. her & dad love walking and that’s obviously a safer activity for them anyway. They both love reading & movies & music! My mum goes swimming at 9am on a weekday morning & basically has the pool to herself!

You are looking at things in a catastrophic fashion due to your severe depression. There is food, there is fuel (petrol & energy) & everything is OK. I don’t feel remotely panicked bar the fact filling up my car makes my eyes water! Life is OK if you switch off the news & focus on your immediate life. Do you have food, warmth, a bed, a TV, the internet, friends, family? Almost certainly you do & that is enough to keep living. Look after your own life & don’t worry about what else is going on. Headlines are designed to scare & cause attention. Covid wise, you have a safety net of antivirals, your vaccine has probably worked even if it’s a little lower due to being immunocompromised (I assume). Omicron IS mild. The majority of people are reporting cold like symptoms, including an entire population of a care home in my local village who have ab outbreak. Not a single resident has required hospital & several are over 95! Long covid is something a very small minority of people get, there is no certainty at all you will get it. You can’t live life worrying about the what ifs .. you could get any virus that leaves you pretty ill. My mums had colds that have landed her in hospital due to her suppressed immune system. It’s just life isn’t it when CEV & pre-covid, you took the risk. It’s no different now.

Also change GP, they sound shit. I’ve seen mine regularly during the pandemic, they’ve been business as usual. Choose a better one!

Life is always worth living OP. Please, please seek support.

Hi OP , you appear to be quoting news headlines which most of the time are sensationalised. When you look around you reality is very different. People everywhere are living life as normal. Try to relax and do the things you enjoyed. I would agree with PPs to turn off the news and focus on yourself. Perhaps take a weekend break to the countryside, get some sunshine and fresh air. Pick up a new hobby, get some regular exercise, cook yourself some delicious home made food. You will be amazed at how good a cook you can become. Read a new book or watch some comedies. All the best